20 month old suddenly stops being able to self soothe

[Molliesdaniels]

Thanks!  I guess I just didn't know with being out of her sight, how will she know I'm there?  I don't typically say anything to her while she's settling. I guess I'm a little confused about when it goes from gw to wi/wo?  What do I wait for before I go in?  Sorry so many questions, I just want to avoid a set back.

My feeling on the clock is to wait until she is back closer to be an IS again and then use it to teach her about staying in bed longer. 5:30 is not her typical wake up time. It's usually 6, which is fine. Her typical nap is 90 minutes. I let her sleep yesterday due to the massive sleep deficit she's accrued.  She always responds to a regression by waking early. Typically, she extends her wake time as she gets back to normal. She's never had a regression this severe either.

Thank you again!

[weaver]

how will she know I'm there?

If she needs to you respond because she's upset, you can speak to her - in a calm quiet (really monotonous ) voice.  My LO2 liked to throw in all kinds of crazy questions, sometimes the best thing is not to respond to what is being said, but to say 'I'm here for you', or even, just 'yes'.  If she is upset because she can't see you, then edge yourself back inside the door for a night or two.  Then try being outside again.  Trial and error!  You'll get there.

Here's a refresher on WI/WO for you.  IMO, it's not yet the appropriate tool for you to be using, I think she needs to be a bit more settled in herself and comfortable about the bedtime routine.  So this might be some weeks off.   In essence, it's just reminding them 'hey it's time to go to sleep' and then leaving.  Up to you of course.  Have a look and see what you think.
Getting back on track using Walk In/Walk Out (WI/WO)

[Molliesdaniels]

That's fine. Should I wait until she's sleeping solidly through the night before I do WI/WO or will one probably not happen without the other?  The bedtime routine of sitting with her is not that bothersome to me, it's the NW that are killing me softly!  Can't thank you enough for your time 😊

[Molliesdaniels]

UPDATE:  Yesterday she went down for her nap in about 10 minutes and slept for about 1 hr 15 minutes.  She was very tired in the afternoon and went down to bed with no crying in about 10 minutes.  She slept until midnight and woke up sort of crying.  I waited a bit and then went in when it started escalating.  When I walked in, she immediately laid down on her pillow and started laughing.  She went to sleep in just a few minutes and slept until 6 am.  I think we are making progress!  Knock on wood!

[weaver]

Sounds great   Well done LO and mama!

[jessmum46]

Great job!

[Molliesdaniels]

Thanks - Last night was the same, but this morning she is super hyper and wired.  She's been laying in her bed singing for an hour fighting her nap.  I'm not sure what's going on with that?

[jessmum46]

If she's had a better night than she has for quite a while, perhaps UT?  Whats your instinct?

[Molliesdaniels]

I think she's just feeling good and having fun for the first time in awhile.  I think it'll level out.  She did end up sleeping for just under an hour after singing and talking in her bed for an hour. 

[Molliesdaniels]

Ugh so she took forever again to go to bed last night (40 minutes). She woke up at 10:30 and I went in and laid her down and she went right back to sleep. It's now 3:45 am and she's been up since 2:30. Last night I moved out of her line of sight. Is it normal to feel like you're starting all over when you take the next step away?  Lord have mercy I must have said shh 6,582 times in the last hour and fifteen minutes!  I even gave her some tylenol about an hour ago. 

[Molliesdaniels]

Tonight has been one of the worst nights so far 😞 I feel like we're moving backwards. She's woken up every 2 hours calling for me. I try to let her alone but it escalates quickly and she's trying to climb out of her crib. I go in and lay her down and shhh her for a second and walk out. A couple of times I've had to go back in, but she seems to be going down ok as soon as she has a little pat. I did give her some ibuprofen after the 3rd wake up and she slept her longest stretch (3 hours) after. Any advice/help would be appreciated. Thank you!

[jessmum46]

It could be regression (very very common after a few nights - it's like their last-ditch attempt at seeing if you're serious about it) or it could be she's caught up on sleep debt and needs a routine adjustment.  What's her day looking like now?

[Molliesdaniels]

Ok - her day looks like this
6 up - this doesn't really vary no matter how much or how little she sleeps
Breakfast shortly after
9 am snack
11 lunch
11:30-12 down for nap and naps 1:15-1:30 hours
2:30-3 snack
5-5:30 dinner
6:15 start bedtime routine / bath, books, prayer and bed
In bed at 7 and it's been taking her 15-30 minutes to go to sleep

[jessmum46]

You could try pushing her nap to start a little later, we had to do that around the 18 month mark (common time for sleep regression too).  The longer awake time in the morning may make her more tired for bedtime x

[Molliesdaniels]

Ok, I'll try that today. I try to stick to a time close to the one they use at school (she goes 2 days a week). I think I may be going in too quickly at night. I try to wait until she's actually crying, but head her off before she gets really upset. Am I on the right track?  Last night I slept in the guest room, which is right next to hers. I was able to just call out to her a couple of times when she woke up. Is that ok for now?  I'm just trying not to linger too long in one step/phase of training that makes another association to have to break later. Such a fine line!  Thank you again for all of your help!!!