1-0 transition and nothing is working!

[barbaraz78]

I used to put the sippy cup on a chair or table near the crib, when he wanted he could reach it standing up

[AMJ]

Thanks ladies. I got her a non-spill sippy cup today and she is so in love with it that she won't stop drinking from it until it's empty.

With regards to her nap drop, I feel like I need to bring the nap back because she is just so miserable. She creams, throws things, just goes ballistic especially before bed. I want my sweet little girl back 

[creations]

Hi - sorry I haven't been able to get on much recently.
I think if your Mummy instinct is saying to give her a nap (whether it is every day or every other or once per week) then try that. This transition is hard.
holding your hand even if I'm not around v much right now xx

[barbaraz78]

I think my ds was the same, in the sense that he never pulled out ling nights so we needed to keep the nap longer to have a decent total sleep. It seems that in your case the main problems are nw, which do not seem related to ot or ut, as they happen with or without a nap.
What does happen with 1 h nap? Would she be able to do a 9.5-10 h night? Would it be unbroken? I would be tempted to try, aiming for a 8.30-6.30 night with a 1 h nap.

[AMJ]

Creations that's right I think that's what is the best for her right now. Thank you

Barbara last time we tried 1hr nap or even 45m her nights get really short, if I remember correctly 9hrs most nights maybe 9.5 hrs. I also remember her having 8.5 hrs nights which in my opinion are just not enough. Her mood also is very unhappy and she is tired.

There were few times I was going back to full nap 12-2, then capping it at 1.5,1hr15, 1hr, 45m and still her nights were short or she had NWUs.

She is such a mystery to me ever since she was a baby. We even worked with a sleep consultant at one point and nothing changed.

[creations]

to me, the short nights with a nap are less of a problem, but any length night (with or without a nap) with long NWs are a problem simply because they are going to be exhausting for you and it takes its toll over time.
have you tried various settling methods for the NWs?

[AMJ]

Yes I've tried rubbing her face/head gently, sitting with her to resettle her but since at about 1year of age it stoped working. I used to be able to resettle her before 1y ( although it used to take me anywhere from 1-2hrs) but after we worked with a sleep consultant and she recommended to leave her to resettle on her own. Since then I can't resetle her for the life of me. It seems that me being there stimulates her more.

[creations]

Is she just awake then and not crying or calling for you?
Sorry, we have likely covered this already, (I'm so pushed on time right now I can't read back).

Have you tried wi/wo? or verbal reassurance/instruction from outside the room?

[AMJ]

No problem at all.

Sometimes she is laying quietly and I don't come in at all. Sometimes she calles  crying if she hears noises( she is very sensitive to noise) sometimes she wakes crying that she lost bunny in the crib sometimes she asks for water ( I think she forgets that she has a sippy cup on the night table).

I usually come in and tell her that she is safe in her crib etc and she is fine right away and I leave or if she asks something I say it's night time etc. I haven't done wi/wo because she doesn't mind that I'm leaving but when I leave she can just lay there for hours after by herself. It's a good idea to try verbal reassurance  from outside the room because I usually come up to her crib, I'll try it next time. Also I'm trying to be as quiet as possible so I don't wake anyone because we are still staying at my mom's house.

Thanks for your time

[jessmum46]

Popping in with encouragement from your previous thread, I'm still here to support

Forgive my asking but how do you know she's awake for hours if she's lying quietly?  I'd have no clue with my two, we don't use monitors and certainly not video.  Quiet = asleep in my book wondering if you might save yourself some worry/get some more rest if you get rid of any monitoring you might have or at least cut it down to a low-volume audio if for space/distance reasons you really have to have something?

Sorry doesn't solve the sleep issue but may make it more manageable?

[AMJ]

Hi thanks for your support Katherine! I appreciate it.

We have a video monitor so I can see her open eyes. I know what you mean, DH says the same thing to either turn it off or turn it very low but I feel like I need to know how long she was awake at night. Silly I know.

Maybe I just need to wait it out like always and hope that when she is able to stay up for 13hrs she can sleep 11hrs at night and be rested.

[Aishi]

Hi popping back on cos I agree with pp. it's taken me a long time to stop using monitore with my two (ds is 5 and dd 3.5). I have only just turned dds monitor off yesterday cos I figured since she's on a set bt and can self regulate there's no need for me to listen out for either of them. Ds will wait till 7 and his Mr sun before he wakes me and dd is vocal enough when she's up!

I would get rid of monitor too as long as u can hear when she needs u xx

[creations]

I would agree about getting rid of the video monitor.  Tracy said it's common for LOs to stay awake for long periods at night and so long as they are not calling for you then just leave them to it. Obviously here when there are long NWs we see if the routine can change to help avoid them but I do think in some cases LO just needs to be left to get on with their resting/thinking and go back to sleep when they are ready.
I have an audio monitor only for when I am downstairs so that I know I can hear a call out or cry but when I go upstairs to bed there is no monitor. I would hear DS from upstairs if he cried. But I would have no clue if he was just awake and laying quietly.

During a phase where mine woke for periods at night I verbally reassured from outside the room (from my bed usually!) with "Everything's fine, it's night time go to sleep" and then if the disturbance continued (and I knew he didn't need a wee or drink because this would be multiple call backs and he's had a wee/drink etc) then I'd give more *instructional* verbal, firmer in tone but not a telling off "It's night time, go to sleep".

[barbaraz78]

I agree with others about the monitor. I also have an audiomonitor for when we are up, but switch it off when I go to bed. I refused to buy a video-monitor because I knew I would become obsessed about A times and how long it would take to go to sleep... So I decided to count the A from the moment I heard him up to the moment I put him down without any callback. I was not precise for sure, and sometimes he was possibly more OT than I thought (but as Creations said, UT is much worse than OT, IME), but it worked in the end, and saved my mind...

[AMJ]

I am obsessing over it that's for sure! Thanks to all of you ladies. Now that you've planted a seed in my head about getting rid of the monitor I am going to work up to it. I think it will be a bit easier once we fly to our new home for good which is in 2 weeks.