A routine change for my super-busy boy

[michaeljacknnugg]

We may have teeth in the mix, too, if this evening is anything to go by.

Yes, experience does make you think about it differently. They are trying to learn so much in such a short space of time!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Ok, a little update.

I am fairly sure we have the right routine for now - it works out as 3-3.5, then 3-3.5, then 3.5-4hrs of A time. If that makes any sense!

I am going to keep that first nap on the go. Pony stuff means I need to spend a decent amount of time at the yard each morning, and I would feel horrible tied to the house for naps.

When napping at home this week he's managed to self settle for most of the afternoon naps.

What I could do with help on is working out whether to intervene or not. My instinct says I've got him worked out, but I'd like to check.
When he self settles, he might briefly protest when I lay him down but then starts making other noises or goes quiet.
At other times, the times we struggle, he will cry, go quiet briefly, cry again and repeat. Even with me patting him. I timed it today and within 2 minutes he was a sweaty mess. He coughs when he is crying, and I'm scared he will just work himself up and up until he is inconsolable (he's done this a couple of times in the car, it was not pretty).
Do I respond straight away to this kind of cry? Or tell myself it's a mantra and give him more space? Instinct says the former but my head says it might be interfering with the independent sleep thing.

We get it for that first nap most often, if we're trying for a nap at home, but also if I try to put him down too early in the evening. I generally have to hold him for the first couple of sleep cycles before he will go down for the night.

[*Liz*]

Stop - start - stop - start really does sound like a mantra to me  . I def think you can afford to leave and see what happens when they are like that. Thomas can be a bit like that if he is a bit UT, but I leave him to it mainly else it takes him a week to settle. Thomas is extremely shrill and persistent if he really wants someone  .

I've had 2 car seat screamers, but I'm not sure either of mine have ever managed that degree of screaming just from being left for a few minutes it try and settle.

I think you can afford 60 seconds to experiment for sure. All 3 of mine hated being patted by this sort of age. Actually, if I start patting Thomas (in comfort rather than to try to help him sleep - old habits die hard!), he usually either pats me and laughs, or thumps me  . Clearly doesn't see it as a soothing thing at all!

[michaeljacknnugg]

I'm timing, it does help! We've had quite a few self settles, even a morning one yesterday. And he settled with Daddy at the weekend while I went out. It was nice to 'swap jobs'.

Blimey, he's developing at a rate of knots atm. Not just crawling but is suddenly everywhere, discovering all the things he shouldn't (did you know? Crocs are lovely and chewy!), starting to work up to pulling up and has managed to get from sitting to crawling a few times. Help!!
So in all that time that I've been wondering if he'll ever go to sleep on his own, he's been busy on other things.

We do have another challenge to solve though....when he's settled himself, he's gone to sleep half in the cot, half on the mattress (which is higher). I'm hovering right now to ensure he's safe, but I'll have to work out how to move the fourth side on the cot - and hope he's not too cross about it.

[*Liz*]

If he is that mobile you just need to put the other side up and be done with it  . He will likely be happy since it will give him a more secure space that he can roll around iyswim?

If standing back for 60 secs helps then maybe extend for 90 secs? Some kids really do just like to fuss themselves to sleep - including the bigger ones  .

I did know crocs are chewy btw  , but am equally glad to be past that oral phase  .

The main thing that upsets our sleep is developmental leaps. He just seems to be coming to the end of an awful phase which seems to be associated with starting to talk.

[michaeljacknnugg]

I can't get the blasted thing to move by myself! We are borrowing a different cot for his bedroom for naps. It will help the transition, if nothing else.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Ack. Sleep is tough going atm. All four incisors are coming through at the top, giving us some very unsettled nights.

Today he pulled a one nap day. Basically didn't fall asleep until 10, slept until 11.30 and resisted a later nap despite a drive, offer of a feed etc. I had him in bed as early as I could but he was still up after twenty minutes screaming .

It looks like A times do need a push somewhere, once the teeth are through. Given that the two nap day is likely to fail again, because he just won't sleep if we are out and about, maybe throwing in the odd single nap day wouldn't hurt? He's nearly 8mo.

[*Liz*]

He's being a bit of a pest isn't he?

I do doubt that one nap days will do much good really, as he really is young for it  . I had Megan on 1 nap at 10 months, but TBH there was a lot of OT in the mix until about 15 months or so. Although if he is nap refusing there isn't a lot you can do apart from accept the messy evenings and nights, sadly.

Rather than attempt every type of APOP under the sun would he be best popped in bed? Even if he doesn't sleep he could roll around and get some quiet time, and that may help you get to bedtime?

[grace annes mommy]

What's his routine, more or less, now?

I'd probably wait til the teeth come thru before much or a routine change.

J has had a couple 1 nap days, but I know she's not quite ready for it full time.  The only reason she's coped is bc they've been midday and long (2.5/3hrs).  Basically, she's refused an earlier nap and crashed hard when we finally get home.  She's actually still hovering around 3.5/4hr A times now.

[michaeljacknnugg]

He's being a terror! Just when we had a good couple of weeks and I'd started working on evenings, it all goes to pot again   .

The evening was extremely unsettled, and when he's seriously tired he does a kind of shaking thing as he falls asleep that I find really alarming. Would love any words of wisdom you have on that, Liz.

Atm I'm aiming for:
6 wake, feed
7ish breakfast
Top up feed around 8/8.30, as this gave us an independent nap the first few times I tried it. More recently he's just fallen asleep and taken an early nap. I tried bringing breakfast later (to eight) today instead.
Nap 9.20-9.50, he really is very predictable if we're at home
Lunch between 12 & 12.30
Nap 1.20-2.50. Recently (even on days he's not fallen asleep on the boob for that first nap) he's been trying to latch as I put him down. This is really unusual for him, and I'm thinking the top up feed might be best moved to the afternoon somehow
Dinner 5pm then straight into bath and bed, aiming for him to be asleep between 6 and 6.30.

Honestly I feel like I run through our evenings, and I hate it. After we get home from school it's straight into cooking, eating, bath and bed with no time to breathe. A later bedtime would be ideal, but I've no idea how to get one as he's so tired come 6.

What would you suggest? School pickup is at 3.

[michaeljacknnugg]

So today I wasn't on pickup so I decided to follow his lead wrt timings. Both were a bit of a shot in the dark, and each sleep has been a real struggle - but on the plus side he did do a long nap on his own.

Unsettled evening lead to 3 feeds (unusual but he'd barely eaten that day so I went with it), up 6.30
Nap 10-10.40, a bear to get down
Nap 14.20-15.40. I'm a bit hazy on timings, I was exhausted and fell asleep
He looked shattered at teatime so I skipped bath. Fought bedtime, asleep 6.20. Might as well have done bath!

If this is how his naps naturally fall (not sure I've got them right yet, but it gives an idea) then school pickup is an issue. But maybe things might fall into place over the summer? Only two weeks of school to go.

[michaeljacknnugg]

It took him hours to settle in the end, partly because DH came home and instructed me to take a break (fresh off a plane - my hero). Asleep for the night 8.20pm.

Surely he is knackered?!?

[*Liz*]

The 'shaking' falling asleep is likely just myoclonus isn't it? Same as they do for the 'jolts' when they are babies? Adults do it as well as part of a normal thing - but it can be more pronounced when overtired.

Will he ever sleep longer for a first nap? I just wonder if a longer am A, followed by a longer nap, and a pm CN would be better?

[grace annes mommy]

Will he ever sleep longer for a first nap? I just wonder if a longer am A, followed by a longer nap, and a pm CN would be better?

I was wondering the same.  That's what we I did until summer break here.  And, actually most days this summer too.  Would something like this work with your school run?

7am wake
Nap #1 - 11 to 12:30
Nap #2 3:30/4pm - 45 mins or so
Bed 7:30ish

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, he does throw in the occasional longer morning nap, how do I encourage that?

GAM we seem to be on a 6-6 day, which actually suits our family quite well. I guess if I have to walk to school and back for one half term, that's what I'll do.

Up at 6, sigh. We both have summer colds and I'm feeling rotten. Please let him sleep today!!