A routine change for my super-busy boy

[michaeljacknnugg]

Tricky stage, I guess. At least I'm not alone!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Today:
Up 5.15-5.40ish, back to sleep until 6.40
Nap (fed to sleep) 10.20-11
Nap (DH cuddled him and put him down drowsy) 2.45-3.20
Thought he'd be really tired but resisted bedtime. Asleep 6.20, up every sleep cycle since but has settled ok. I've put him to bed in his room and will continue for consistency; he can come in with me after the first feed.

The next tooth is on the way so I can predict self settling will be impossible. I'm going to let DH settle him for naps as much as I can over the weekend because I'm fed up of stressing over independent sleep. I need a break from striving for something that seems completely unattainable.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Super Daddy got him a long AM nap and he nodded off in the car around 3. The later day seems to suit him so far.

Settling is still bothering me, though. No feeding to sleep today and since we're in his bedroom we've done bath-book-feed-settling tonight. Took ages though and he wasn't happy.

He's spirited so PUPD is out. Shh pat is past working as he just squirms away. I'm feeling kinda lost. WIWO? GW?

Here's what I did tonight; I'm not sure what header it comes under.
Feed, song, put down.
He cried hard so I picked up immediately. My gut says he will always need this reassurance.
Calmed, bounced him a bit, put down. Repeat until he got very upset, so kept him in my arms and bounced gently (my yoga ball is coming in handy).
At this point he started trying to eat me again! He's an oral baby but refused a dummy. I gave him a blanket with chewy bits on that he loves, and he started to chew on this whilst we bounced. Then went off pretty quickly.

So
Negatives - still feeling lost, unsure of why IS comes and goes for us
Positives - he went to sleep without feeding to sleep for the last two nights. Instinct says that's important for him (wasn't for DS1).  Is it possible he's just chosen his own lovey??

[Scottishmummy]

He sounds like my DS as a baby. Needed a lot of reassurance from us for sleep. GW was only option for us as any option which involved crying (PU/PD, WI/WO, I mean) just got him more worked up.

Good that he's chosen a lovey though- that made all the difference for DS too- he had an old pyjama top of mine though which felt a bit inappropriate when he got older and wanted to take it everywhere he went!

Could the inconsistency of IS be developmental leap/ SA related?

[michaeljacknnugg]

I did wonder, esp when I looked at the WIWO sticky. I've never done it before.

Would you mind sharing what you did with your DS?

[Scottishmummy]

Of course!

 I did a combination of an adapted sh-pat & gradual withdrawal.

So after WD routine I would cuddle him until calm then put him in the cot with my PJ top next to him and continue to hold him there and sh until he fell asleep (patting and picking up were too stimulating for him and kept him awake longer).
 Once I knew he could sleep in the cot I would cuddle him for shorter and shorter time until I just went straight from WD to into the cot & holding there.
Then I started letting go of him to let him settle himself earlier and earlier so holding until sleepy but not asleep, then after that worked just have a hand on mattress next to him, then just standing by cot, behind cot, by the door, outside door etc.

It took a few weeks but was worth it.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Thank you SM!

I've come to the conclusion over the last few days that getting him to go to sleep happily is the key first step.
Last night he only woke once after bedtime, which is very unusual. The night before, we only had one night feed!

He's also starting to put the chewy bits of his taggie into his mouth as he goes to sleep. So once I can take my interventions away he will be left with that, white noise and a consistent wind down to help him. I'm not sure I can give him any more, yk?

[Scottishmummy]

He's also starting to put the chewy bits of his taggie into his mouth as he goes to sleep. So once I can take my interventions away he will be left with that, white noise and a consistent wind down to help him. I'm not sure I can give him any more, yk?

That's pretty much what DS (age 3) still goes to sleep with now...although we replaced white noise with just a lullaby on my phone as white noise all night seemed too much. 

What you described with doing what you need to calm him initially is pretty much what we did, then we're gradually able to replace the AP stuff with just a hold, no movement. DS was the same, needed to be calm to settle. It takes time to teach them but is worth it.

[michaeljacknnugg]

I'm just not sure how he will get drowsy with no movement? He may surprise me, I hope so.

Touch wood it's nearly 9pm and he has not woken once since bedtime. That's pretty much a first! So I think I focus on evenings, keep everything consistent and hope naps fall into place.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Last night was brilliant! He woke for a feed around 2, went back down again and didn't hear a peep out of him until morning.

I accidentally let him go a bit too long this morning though, and he's been less happy to sleep today and already up once since bedtime. If you get to him quickly he goes back off within minutes though, so my plan is to hang out in his room until I see him roll over and go through a sleep transition by himself.

[Scottishmummy]

Fingers crossed for another good night for you xxx

[*Liz*]

I'm sure you have seen pictures of my DS2 on FB with his wretched cloth in his mouth  . Horrid thing (although I remember thinking it was amazing when he first started doing it  ).

I always rocked/ swayed until finally cracking IS. I'm def no expert at GW type stuff - I'm a WIWO type  - I'm just to impatient for GW (and it is good that I know that as otherwise I end up getting cross and that never helps....). Although DS2 has never really needed any sleep training. One day he just 'got it'.

Although by 8 months all my babies were FF - J due to reflux, M due to my diagnosis, and T always was anyway. It might mean my experience isn't that helpful as it isn't the same.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hopefully he will just 'get it', too!

Although I'm pretty happy with where we are for now, and suspect nursery will crack the final step for us.

My boobs woke me before he did last night! 7pm to 3.45am, I feel like a different person. I'm missing him terribly at night, though.

And he's just gone an hour into a morning nap.

All I'm doing is wind down (into bag, song, white noise on) and then gently bouncing on the ball with him and his taggie. He gives me a lovely snuggle before he goes to sleep .  I think for him, going to sleep happy and waking in the knowledge that someone will be there is key, and always has been. The way he's made?

[michaeljacknnugg]

  Blasted school run.

He was up at 11, fair enough. But he really needed to nap by 3 and had no chance, school is far too noisy and interesting. I managed to get him down by 4 but that's a 5hr A which is too long really - and then I had to wake him up to go to the dentist!! Grr.

[michaeljacknnugg]

  he STTN 

I did not, of course. Too busy checking he was still there