Obsessing around schedules

[Adelaide2009]

You can practice EASY all you want, but if babe doesn't want to sleep, she won't.  If she doesn't want to play, she won't.  I lost too much sleep over the EASY plan to the extent that I had a full blown anxiety attack when she was 6 weeks old since I was so obsessed over EASY.

My daughter is now 12 weeks old, sleeping 12 hours a night, with a dream feed at about 1030pm, and she wakes up briefly (about 30  minutes) for a feed at 5am. 

During daylight hours, I let her sleep when she is tired, play when she is awake, and feed her about every 3-4 hours.

She's dictated this schedule on her own over the past 3-4 weeks.  MUCH easier than trying to get her to do what a book says.

[Otownmama]

I just took the time to read through this entire thread and can only say I'm thankful to find out I'm not alone! I am dealing with a short nap stage that is just brutal and literally brings me to tears at least once a day. I spend most of my LOs awake time worrying about the nap and watching the clock, and all of her nap time watching the monitor for her to wake! I literally resent the Y in EASY - what Y? And the whole, nap when your baby naps concept?!? What's that? I spend too much of my time watching the clock, reading BW books, on these boards and logging everything. And like others, I dread leaving the house because it usually wreaks havoc on naps and am therefore a total hermit. I also think it is contributing to some depression on my part - I get so frustrated when things don't work out and think it is some kind of failure on my part when my baby won't nap. My DH thinks I'm obsessed, my parents think I'm crazy, and I really worry I'm not enjoying the wonders of every new day for my baby because of those feelings of frustration. Being a SAHM is already a bit change for me, and the emotional upheaval of this journey has really thrown me for a loop! Thanks for letting me put this out there and for knowing I'm not alone.

[sherry lynn]

*hugs* Otownmama - It does get easier. I promise   I hope the short nap phase ends soon for you. How old is your LO? If you want to start a post in EASY I'll keep an eye out for you and I'll try to offer help

[marilyn73]

I love having routines, and organization etc.... but as baby's gotten older I feel chained to the house for these darn naps!  In the early days, I could go anywhere, and she'd peacefully sleep - whether we were dog walking, or grocery shopping - doesn't work anymore, so I find myself squeezing errands and walks in between solids and the next nap.  I've wondered how this can possibly work for #2, when eeek, # 1 would be making noise during S time, or be in some play group...
Glad to hear I'm not the only one, but since we just sorted thru sleeping through the night, and are almost done with the DF, I stick to my chain instead of exploring as much or as long as I might have...just in case you know? 
Somewhat frustrated, but dealing.

[sherry lynn]

It gets so much easier as their A times lengthen out. But, I hear you on worrying about #2

[runningwildly]

I too struggle with the routine becoming more of a schedule. I think it has everything to do with being a type A, control desiring person. Order is a good thing....but in moderation. I am learning this. I'll read this entire thread to get some more ideas on how to relax. But it sure is nice knowing there are soooo many others out there.

[sherry lynn]

I agree, it probably has something to do with being type A

[NicElua]

I'm going a little nuts. I started EASY with my LO2 since she was 4 weeks. Initially everything seemed okay. She might not have been a great napper but she would be sleeping through the night when she was abt 6 weeks. suddenly in the last one week or so, everything turned topsy-turvy. Not only does she start napping only 30mins each time, she started to wake v frequently after midnight! i tried mt darndest to extend her A time during the day, stuck strictly to the evening routine and the cluster feeds, but still I see no improvement. It seems the routine is gone and i'm going crazy trying to set the feed times. It's good to know that there are others out there who are not having an easy time with EASY either.

[sherry lynn]

We had a very rough time at around 8 weeks also.
Honestly, in hindsight I think I would have dropped the cluster feeding. Some where in the book she says to stop it at 6 weeks, but I missed that memo.
Did you start a thread in EASY, having a look at your routine might help. There are lots of moms around who can help you tweak things. They become so much more alert at this age I think it starts to mess with everything.

[NicElua]

Hi sherry lynn,
I just started the thread.

Did Tracy mention to drop the cluster feeds at 6 weeks? I missed that too! Perhaps i should go flip through again to have a better read.

[sherry lynn]

Yeah, she did. But, I only figured that out much later.
I didn't really cluster feed, so much as I fed him and then did a top up feed after bedtime routine etc, that's the second option she gives. But, he would still suckle for such a long time. I couldn't feel my let down or anything, so I didn't really know if he was truly feeding or not, and he was such a horrible sleeper I didnt' want to deny him food.
I checked earlier for a post, I'll go pop on right now and have a look.

[linussally]

I've just finished reading most of the posts, and I'm so glad I'm not alone.  I think it's the lack of sleep that is making me more obsessed with the routine than anything else.  My lo is now 6 wks old.  I was hoping that he can nap longer in the mornings, so I can nap also.  But he can never go past the 30 mins nap in the morning.  Then it's the whole spiral through the day, as I've posted on another thread.  The short morning nap means that he's drowsy through his feeds, so most of his afternoon feeds are like dream feeds --> even after I've changed his diaper before feeding to wake him up.  So with this, I was upset that I couldn't even stick any activity time in for him.  His EASY routine is like ES in the afternoons.  Sometimes he's so sleepy that he doesn't even finish his feed, gets cranky and just wants to sleep.  I know that his morning nap is the biggest problem, but there's nothing i can really do.  I've tried the shush/ pat but he doesn't like that, and i'm attempting the W2S, but doesn't seem to be working.  I guess I'm not doing it right.  But all these + lack of sleep is just making me miserable, and it's definitely not easy to be handling it all by myself (I'm home alone during the day until my DH comes home from work at 6:30).  I know I shouldn't take the EASY times too strictly, but I do need some down time to rest up during the day.  Like some mommies are saying here, I find that I'm not really enjoying his babyhood.  Having read all these posts, it's just a relief to know I'm not the only one obsessing and I need to learn to relax the routine to suit the baby.

[gavinsmum1]

I was just reading some of the last postings on this board and I just wanted to extend some big hugs to all the struggling moms out there! (((((HUGS))))))
It does get easier! I was the epitome of a paranoid, stressed out mom with my first (at least for the first 6 months, maybe longer).  I suffered from PPD, I was constantly either watching the clock or my baby's cues, or both.  I would cry when my baby had a short nap~ completely miserable.  It took some counseling, some meds, and my baby growing up a little to understand that this is such a small part of their lives and it FLIES by!!
When I first started BW I expected that I would have instant, perfect results, but the reality is that with your first, you definitely are just beginning the journey to understanding how BW works.  I'm BW with my second, and I still don't have things the way I'd like them, but I've learned some new stuff to do with those magic A times and it's been a lot better.
My DH and I were just talking about whether or not we could have a third and he just looked at me and said, "Why? So my lips can get all dry and cracked from doing SH/Pat!?!?!"  I couldn't help but laugh.  Although it was the end of the world at the time, it is all over with and we have an incredibly happy baby now who is a complete joy to play with and take care of.  Just remember that this is all stressful now, but years from now (or maybe even a few short months from now) it will all be foggy and hopefully very humorous.  In my mind, Tracy just wanted moms to provide structure, safety, and discipline for babies and children and she gives some great suggestions on how to do it~ but by all means, don't follow her word for word! You're the momma, do what works for you and your family!

[faerywings]

i agree , see it as more of a structure to your day. i started off TOTALLY obsessed and it led to a not very happy baby! i am alot more flexible now and just follow the pattern EASY roughly to a 2.5 / 3.5 cycle depending on my baby and reading her signs. don't beat yourself up about it and try and relax and enjoy your special time togetherx

[Intransit]

This is my second time using easy, but the first time with a newborn! She is 5 weeks today and is on a good 3 hour easy. Good in terms of..she eats every 3 hours, but does not sleep so well most days--unless I am out. I find it stressful to obsess over the nap times, the waking early from naps,, and sometimes I feel like I just don't have the energy to put into pat/shhing for hours. Especially if I've had a bad night with her...lately its been OK.
I started Easy with my son when he was just about 3 months and found he took to it wayyy better than this dd of mine. I think it might be the age? Either way..Im trying to keep myself calm and not stress too much, I just want a happy baby and I don't want to lose my sanity in the process!
Glad there are others out there too....hugs to you all!