Just - why? So frustrated!

[anna*]

Up 12.45-1.45, then 2.45-4. Then up at 6. I thought for sure she wouldn't go back to sleep in her cot ( but maybe she would have?). I brought her in with me and she fed and went back to sleep but woke up 5 mins later when I moved my arm. Rough night.

[Avery3]

there always seems to be a setback after a few days, keep up the good work though, you are getting some good results apart from this

[katie80]

Sorry for the rough night, Anna. Avery is right, though, there's often a setback. Keep up the good work, hope tonight goes better. 

[anna*]

So if she goes back to sleep and wakes again 20mins later, what then? Feed ir dont feed no matter what? Stans awake and crying, I guess I'm back on the floor again tonight as I've sent him to my bed.

[becj86]

 

It would suggest she's in some kind of discomfort/hunger/thirst. Its hard to know not being there, did she have a good day feed-wise? It could also be her 'regression' like when LO's regress with sleep training in which case I'd say keep resettling without feeding.

[donna_issabella]

Do you think having had you I the room vs Stan made a difference? Does Stan do something that wakes her during the night? Just asking as she did so well the few nights you were in with her and not so well with Stan??

[anna*]

Do you think having had you I the room vs Stan made a difference? Does Stan do something that wakes her during the night? Just asking as she did so well the few nights you were in with her and not so well with Stan??

Oh gosh I hope not. I hope it's just coincidence. He doesn't talk or shout in his sleep, I am such a light sleeper I would hear him. They have white noise going (not super loud) all night so that they don't disturb each other by coughing or rolling in bed or whatever. I only slept in the room one time (first night).

Last night she slept soundly until 1, then she was awake until 3am apart from 20 mins where she fell back to sleep. She woke up Stan, he was crying ("I need sleeeeeeep mummy please make her stooooop!") so he ended up getting into my bed, and at 3 I went downstairs and slept on the couch. She woke up at 5.30 when I fed her, then up for the day at 7.30.

[~Sara~]

Hi Anna--just popping on to offer some support

Sorry for asking, but do you do a df?  If not, then her waking at 12:30/1ish would seem like a hunger waking   Seems she's waking up consistently at that time every night (unless I misread your posts).  What if you tried w2s for that time?

[anna*]

She's woken at 12.30-1.30 the last 3 nights. The night before that she woke at 9.30pm and after she finally went back to sleep, slept til 5am.

It could well be hunger but I think we have to just ride it out. It can't be THAT bad as she will (eventually) go back to sleep and sleep another 2-3hrs before waking again. Also she's not full on upset crying, usually.

The dream feed never really worked for us, she always woke up beforehand I could probably count on two hands the number of times we were actually able to do a true dream feed. I'm loathe to try and reintroduce it now because a) we'd be wanting to drop it in a few weeks time and b) I'm scared we'll go back to the last scenario which is waking at 9pm, and then either reinforcing the idea of 3hourly feeds at night or having to resettle her for 1.5hrs only to then go in and feed her.

[katie80]

Ok, I'm a bit confused now... are you trying to get her to go the full 12 hrs without a feed, Anna?  I thought at the start of this thread, you were going to feed her once in the early night and then push her all the way til morning. (There's a good chance I'm not remembering correctly, though, as my brain is a bit foggy over here. )  Anyway, if that's the case... do you really think she's ready to do the full 12 hrs without a feed?  She's pretty young for that.  I think Sara has a valid point in that she's waking at that time each night, so you could definitely try W2S.  I would have said the same as Bec, however... waking 20 min after falling asleep sounds like either discomfort or hunger to me.  

[anna*]

To be fair it's the only time she's done that. So what should I do here? If I do two feeds at night she's not hungry at breakfast. She's shown she can do 11hrs. Should I feed her when she wakes or not? I don't mind feeding but it's the extra wakes in between feeds that were killing me, and even this is better than getting up 4 separate times. If she was super hungry at 'midnight, wouldn't she wake again soon after rather than go another 3 hrs?

[katie80]

If I do two feeds at night she's not hungry at breakfast.

Which two feeds are you talking about, like a 12:30 am and then 5 am?  I guess you need to decide what it is you really want to do, either keep pushing her through the 12:30/1 waking and feeding her at 4-5ish or feed at the 12:30 waking and then not again til morning.  Writing it out that way does make it sound more appealing to push through, so you don't start getting EWs, I guess.  I think, though, that just because she's done it once, doesn't necessarily mean she can always go 11 hrs at night, yk?  Has she done her 6 mo growth spurt yet?

Yes, you're probably right, she may not be 'super' hungry at midnight if she can go 3 more hours after that.  If this suits you better, then why don't you keep trying for a week or so, and if that midnight waking still isn't gone, then maybe reassess. 

[anna*]

I realised I didn't answer the question. One night feed is fine. I just needs clear 'rules' for her and for me. If I feed her when she wakes at 10, she'll likely be feeding every 4 hours and waking every 2, because that's the pattern I'm trying to break. I feel like its just clearer and more consistent to say no feeds rather than 'sometimes'. Often we would have these long NWs and I would be TRYING to get her back to sleep by feeding but it doesn't work.

Doing she wakes at 1 I should feed? What then when she wakes at 4?

[anna*]

Also at 5-5.30 she's not ravenous. She's happy to have just a small feed and then has a proper feed at breakfast. If she's not super hungry at 5.30am I don't see tht she can be super hungry at 1am...

[katie80]

I just needs clear 'rules' for her and for me.

Yes, I get that, I'm a rules girl too.  What do you want to do, Anna?  You know her best.  I definitely wouldn't feed her at 10, unless you want to do a DF, which you don't. 

I feel like its just clearer and more consistent to say no feeds rather than 'sometimes'.

I get this too.  That's while I've always waited until I'm sure they can make it through, as it's not always clear.  So, I'm very cautious, because once I did this with C, she dropped on the curve for a good while and while a lot of it is contributed to moving all over the place and not taking much to solids til later, I've always wondered if I should have held onto that NF for longer.  I'm not saying this to make you question yourself, because yours is a different situation.  Just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from, so maybe I'll just wait and let others chime in.

Also at 5-5.30 she's not ravenous.

Is this after being fed at midnight, or after going most of the night?  If it's after going most of the night, and that's what suits you best, then I'd stick to your plan and keep pushing her through.