3-2 Transition and now NWs and EW

[LovelyLilyandJack]

I would try just sitting next to the cot next You're both doing so well!

Too short an A to bed could be causing the nws, yes, it always did for us. I would go straight to a longer A before bed I think,  seeing as he's doing that length A for the rest of the day.

Let me know how you get on 

[Mom2012]

Thanks for the encouragement! I'll try sitting by the bed tonight and a longher A time if he does a decent second nap.

[Mom2012]

Things are going pretty well!  Thursday night I just laid on the floor next to his bed.  He took about 20min to go to sleep.  Then Friday night he took just about 5min to go to sleep, Saturday night he went straight to sleep, but tonight he took about 30 min.  He doesn't cry, but he does get a little fussy when he's getting really sleepy.  I have had to sing some (for a few naps and tonight) for him to settle but didn't sing long. 

What is my next step?  I'm not sure if I stayed at this step (laying on the floor next to the bed) too many nights? Would I stay in the room but closer to the door rather his bed, or do I go ahead and try leaving the room? 

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Yay!  Well done!  Yes, I'd stay in his room but move closer to the door.  So put him to bed, walk away a couple of steps and then lay down and just use your voice to settle if he needs any help.  If that's really not working, then you can move closer to the cot to reassure with a hand but then as soon as he starts to settle move back to your position on the floor and reassure with your voice again.  Then once he's settled OK like that for a day or two, move closer to the door again, and repeat basically til you're on the other side of the door and just settling with your voice if need be.

Good luck!

[Mom2012]

Unfortunately, I do not have a good update I do not know what is going on with my LO.  Well Tuesday night I took a few steps away and laid on the floor.  He did fine with that.  He took maybe 15 min to go to sleep, so I was really excited!  Well, then the next night (Wed.) he screamed and cried for a little over an hour before going to sleep.  Thursday afternoon I had to be somewhere so was later getting home to BF and put him to bed.  I guess he was really tired because he just went right to bed.  That made me think maybe he needed a longer A time before BT, so Friday night I extended it a little but he still screamed and cried for an hour before going to sleep.  I kept the extended time Saturday night and he only fussed a little and went to sleep.  But then tonight he's been crying now for 40min and I let DH give it a try.  I'm confused if the longer A time is helping him or not!

It's almost like he is developing separation anxiety.  When I lay him down he grabs hold of me like he doesn't want to let go of me.  Then he starts crying hysterically immediately.  When I am laying on the floor, he is smashing himself against the rails trying to get to me.  When I say my sleep cue he gets more upset.  It's like my presence makes him more upset because he knows Im there but he can't get to me.  I have been tempted to try putting my hand back in to see if that would calm him but not sure if I need to go backwards or not.  What do you think?  I start back work Wednesday and so I am extremely emotional about leaving him and laying there listening to him cry is breaking my heart.  I just want to pick him up and hold him but deep down I don't want to go backwards that much so thats why I thought about at least putting my hand back in there.  I'm worried its only going to get worse when I start work this week.  Do you have any suggestions?

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Oh poor you, that sounds really tough, especially with you going back to work.  I know how hard that is - it's an emotional time and it'll be an adjustment for all of you.  If it feels right to you to go back to putting a hand on him to calm him I definitely would. I'd try and keep it so that he's still going to sleep without your hand on him, but perhaps he's going through a developmental leap and needs some extra reassurance, or he's teething or coming down with something  - or has picked up that a change is coming.  If he needs a bit more reassurance I would give it temporarily. You could start with lying on the floor, go over to reassure him with your hand and then lie back down again when he's calmed?

I agree it's hard to tell if the longer A is helping.  Are all his other A times the same? What does his day look like now? I wonder if he might do better with another A time being increased rather than the one immediately before bed? 

[Mom2012]

Yes, this is definitely an emotional tims with me going back to work tomorrow. It is going to be very hard for me to adjust being away from him. I hope the transition is easy on him. 

I kept the same A time last night and he went right to bed. I didn't make it longer than any other A times though. I was aiming for about 3hr 15 min when he took a short second nap and 3 hr 45 min if he took a longer second nap.  Well he only has taken a longer second nap like twice so I thought since he was struggling going to bed maybe he needed more A time despite the short nap.  Again, I am not sure if that time is helping or not since he seems to cry for an hour one night and then the next night do fine.  I do not think he is getting another tooth or coming down with anything, but I guess he might could suspect a change is coming. Not sure!

I didn't have to put my hand on him last night since he went to bed easy but DH did put his hand in the crib some during the NW last night but he didn't fall asleep with it on him.

I haven't change other A times in a while because I was worried to change too much since he will have to slowly transition to a new schedule with the sitter.

Here's what our last two days looked like:
Sunday:
WU: 6:40
Nap 1: 10:05-11:15 (1hr 10min nap with A time of 3hr 25min)
Nap 2: 3:05-3:35( 35min nap with A time of 3hr 50min)
BT: 8:30 (I did before bed BF at 6:40 and he takes about 30min so was aiming to put him down with an A time of 3hr 35min but he cried for a long time before going to sleep)
NW: 3:30 (NF)

Monday:
WU: 6:35
Nap 1: 10:00-11:00 (1 hr nap with A time of 3hr 25min)
Nap 2: 2:45-3:20 ( 35min nap with A time of 3hr 45min)
BT: 6:55 (a time of 3 hr 35min/ I did the same A time as the night before)
NW: 1:30(DH had to go in once he started crying and took about 30min to settle so was up about an hour.) 5:10(NF)

That first nap is around an hour and the second nap is usually only 30-40min.  I still don't think he's sleeping enough during the day but I just don't know what to do anymore.  Besides last night, he has been waking only once between 3-4:30 to eat. 

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Sorry for the delay replying, I've been doing very long days at work and not had a chance to get on here.  If the same A times are giving you different experiences at BT then my guess is that it's not an A time thing, though if you keep that A time for a bit longer it might be easier to tell.

What makes you think he's not getting enough daytime sleep?  My son only had 45-60 minutes total day sleep from about 1yo and he's always been fine with it. He's a bit unusual though! But if your LO is happy and getting good night sleep he probably *is* ok. How old is he now?

(((Hugs))) for the return to work.  You'll all be fine - you've just got to find your new rhythm.  I'm about to increase my hours at work  (had to in order to keep my job), and I feel the same about being away from my two