Sleep, what's that?

[LizzieN]

Of course we still care sweetheart, you are doing it tough and we want to help you - I'm sure we all wish we could do more!! 

Sorry to hear how cold things are now, I remember England well   I was riding my bike down the road in Cambridge and it started snowing....I was in hysterics, everyone must have thought I was MAD!!!

The website is Aussie based, but it shows how to prime your child for learning to swim, conditioning for going underwater etc...we have a LOT of toddler drownings in Aus, so it is pretty much an essential skill and they are trying to get everyones awareness about the importance of water safety (very important here actually as we have dams and water troughs etc).

Honestly darling, I know that it upsets you when you see that Oliver is tired but I think you should actually look at it like this, he is running around playing, having a BALL and that is because YOU have put so much time into him and loved him, helped him and gotten him the medical care he has needed as soon as he has needed it.  I think you should be bloody PROUD of what you have done and that little gorgeous man.  I can only imagine dealing with what you go through day to day sweetie, but you can only give him the opportunity to sleep, you can't make him (as much as I'm sure you want to)....he will sleep as much as he can and for now it will have to do.

Hugs to you my friend
xx

[MLK]

Sorry you are still going through this!

[babybarr]

Why can't I just get anything right?

Today we had settling to nap and bedtime issues again, he finally fell asleep after about 50mins this evening, his average is usually 10-15mins.  It seems so much more hit and miss now.  I *wondered* (and this is a big wonder) if he STTN and it would've been 11+hours as DH's alarm woke him.  O woke last night around 10pm and was crying I went to him and he went straight back to sleep (unusual) so I thought maybe he didn't have a long NW and that's why nap and bed have been a struggle.

I just feel lost   I'm desperately trying not to let it get to me (and trying to STTN myself!) but I don't understand what has shifted in the last few days.

Should I push nap and bed back or do you think that is just not going to help the OT from NWs?

[MummyToBen]

Oh Laura  ((((((((((()))))))))))).  It is so unbearable when you feel like you are doing the 'wrong' thing - when really there is no right answer to this, you are doing the best you can.  After reading about how very tired he sounds from your previous post, I would be reluctant to push out his naps any more  .  What did his day look like today?

xxxx

[exhaustedmum]

Hey Laura
More hugs and empathy for you .............I noticed from one of your earlier posts that there seems to be alot going on for you and your family right now...the recent house move, trying to paint and decorate, tension with your mum and O being kindly minded by others to help you out. I am just wondering if O is sensitive like my DS is to changes like this when things are knocked off the normal routine? My Ds can get really unsettled when this happens in our house and it is normally his sleep that is affected first.

I know its hard to see and feel right now but you are doing a fantastic job as O's mum - this phase will pass. Its really hard to always pinpoint what is up with our lo's but its important not to blame yourself. Sleep deprivation is a powerful thing and can impact on us more than we realise sometimes. It has a nasty habit of temporairly removing our rational side which in turn reduces our confidence in managing difficult situations.

please be assured of my thoughts for you at this time.

Let me know how tonight goes x

[LizzieN]

You aren't doing anything wrong sweetie xox Hang in there love, keep the nap times the same unless the trend continues for several weeks...he will settle down again!
xox

[*Becky*]

You aren't doing anything wrong sweetie xox Hang in there love, keep the nap times the same unless the trend continues for several weeks...he will settle down again!

Absolutely! xxx

[babybarr]

Yesterday was
Wake (woken by DH alarm) about 6.15am
Nap 11.30 - took 30mins to settle slept 1hr 20mins
Bed 6.40pmish asleep 7.30pm

Woke briefly at 10.30pm
NW at 12.45am for goodness knows how long at least 45mins
Woke 6am today

Exhaustedmum - thank you for your thoughts and support.  A quick bit of background for you - DS has been having long NWs for over a year, he has been seen by a sleep clinic who have told me because he is "getting enough sleep" this is a phase (a very long one!!) and it'll surely resolve when he goes to school!  The other girlies know all my long saga already.  You probably have a point though that he may be more unsettled atm due to everything going on although he's pretty good with change as he's been through a lot.  It is a change for him though as I'm looking after him as I'm on school hols so he's having to put up with grumpy mummy instead of Gran lol!

Thanks as always for sticking with me girls

[Tweakster]

That strikes me as a long time to settle for nap, I can kind of see these changes (PTing, moving etc.) affecting bedtime & nights but I wouldn't expect the exact same for naps, although anything is possible.  What if you try even bumping up to 11:45? What do you think?  See if you can get him settling quicker.

[*Becky*]

What if you try even bumping up to 11:45?

Yes I agree.
bx

[babybarr]

Well today it's GCSE results day so I had to go into work.  So I didn't put O down for his nap till about 11.55am, it took him about 10mins to settle which is better.

He slept 1hr 20mins (a very common amount of time for him to nap )
Bed at 6.40pm and he's still struggling to settle now 50mins later.

If he slept well at night I would just assume he needs a later nap and later bedtime but cos he doesn't I always doubt that this is really the case.  Had we not have had a long NW last night I would've thought that was the solution.  He did move rooms last Sun and we have just put him back in his room tonight but it hasn't been since he changed rooms - even if we blame that on tonight!

I am just fed up to my back teeth of it always being something.  I was getting to the point of "accepting" the NWs but now there's nap issues and bed issues it's just TOO much.  The later he settles to sleep usually also indicates the earlier he'll wake regardless of NWs too.  He told me his tummy hurt today (first time he's really expressed verbally he's in discomfort) so it'll be interesting to see if he starts saying anything at night.  I'm so stressed it's untrue!

[clazzat]

(((hugs))) - you have had such a hard time with him, I totally understand how you are at the end of your tether.

It's not much use, but E has been taking ages (over an hour normally) to go to sleep at bedtime for a month or so.  I have tried shorter naps, later naps, later bed, earlier naps, earlier bed - you name it! - and it hasn't made any difference.  I have come to the conclusion that it is a developmental thing - she is talking a lot at the moment which is new for her - and I am trying to let it go.  She is also teething her molars, but the first sign of it started months ago and it is only in the last week that I can actually see anything in her gums - the molars can cause a lot of discomfort and disruption long before they start pushing through the gum.

[babybarr]

Thanks Claire - that does make me feel a bit better.  He's finally asleep - an hr after going to bed.  He is starting to talk loads although he's always been a chatterbox even if I can't usually understand a word of what he says!

Tomorrow I am trying a super early bedtime just to rule that out first.  Something's gotta give and I just hope it's not my sanity!

[Mrs Coops]

Hi
I meant to ask is he in a cot still?

We decided to switch DD to a BGB a few weeks back and were dreading it becasue she was taking nearly an hour to settle.

Well, she LOVES it and settles really fast now. Sometimes it takes half hour, but usually less.

[exhaustedmum]

Laura
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you at this unsettling time. I can only imagine you feel like pulling your hair out especially during the night when you hear your DS awake. I have the same feeling of dread, wondering how long its gonna be before my little one wakes. Although my DS NW's can vary in the lenght of time he is awake, he has only ever STTN consistently for about 3 weeks since birth. Guess what I am trying to say is that I dont want you feeling that you are alone in trying to manage your lo's disturbed nap and night sleeps. We all care about you and have experienced the exhaustion your currently going through. Your doing a fantastic job although I know its hard to see/feel that right now.
 xx