What's happening here? Fresh ideas needed please!

[nelliestar]

Hi Everyone!

My lovely DS is puzzling us at the moment and would like to know if you think this is developmental or something in his routine.

Bram has always been high sleep needs and will nap 2 hrs no prob at home.At nursery 2 days a week he has about an hour and we try to do early bedtime then. Would go down a dream until about a month ago when we started getting EW and now he is hard to put down at night. He shouts soooo much!!
His routine now is-

Awake 5.50am talking/shouting. Dh tries to settle him and he may go quiet for ten mins but no more.
Nap used to be between 1 and 1.30 but since all this been trying to get him down early at say 12.30. Nursery nap time is 1pm though and he can't go before. Early nap has been hard as it means we can't go anywhere much - only really sleeps in cot here or at other family.

Today he was down for the night at 6.45 and I was sooo sure it would go smoothly as he was OT. But he still shouted and i went in twice and he is still talking 45 mins later. He seems sort of agitated and not tired.Get really anxious about this and the shouting really gets me down. Funny as i was so happy i got him down early as i don't get in from work til 6.15 - my folks had him today. I was convinced he wouldnt shout and he would go down easy as I'm sure he's OT.

Behaviour has been a bit challenging lately - he bit me last night and my Mum today and seems to be really testing his boundaries ( As a 2 yr old does i suppose)

Think he may have finally gone to sleep 50 mins after going down. This is alien to us as he has always been brilliant at bedtime and just gone straight down. Mum and friends say cut the nap down but that doesn't seem right to me.

Please help! Thank you!

Nell xxxxxxx










 

[sianie]

Hi there!

It could be a few things going on that do tend to happen at around the 2yr old mark...there is generally a big developmental leap at around this time which can effect sleep. Sleep needs do also start to change at around 2yrs old too.

Does he have any of his 2nd year molars coming through at all?

[nelliestar]

We think he may have all his teeth now although its really hard to tell for certain because he doesn't let us look! DH said he counted 20 a couple of weeks ago he thinks  xxxx

[firsttimemummy]

Murray recently went through a phase of refusing his daytime nap (usually he has 2-3 hours!!) - I think it was teething related (The molars at the very back) , and he is now back to his usual nap length.  I just got him out his cot the days he didn't want to nap and tried for an earlier bedtime.  (I do blame everything on teeth though!!!).  We have just started using a Groclock where he has to stay in his cot until he "sees the sun" and it seems to help - if he wakens before it comes on he tends to lie quietly ...

[sianie]

It is difficult to see whether they are in....if they are then at least you can cross teething off the list, lol!

I would usually suggest an earlier nap as it does sound as if he is OT with the shorter nights. I would try this as much as possible when he's at home then try for an earlier BT on nursery days.

[nelliestar]

Thanks Lucy and Sianie : ) . Will do earlier naps on non Nursery days and bedtime as early as I can on Nursery days. We don't get in from Nursery until 6.15pm so I will do my best! Thank you for your help,

Nell xxxxxxxxxx

[nelliestar]

How early would you do the nap? x

[sianie]

I'd probably aim for around midday if possible!

[nelliestar]

Thanks xxxxxxx

[firsttimemummy]

I'd probably aim for around midday if possible!

Murray usually wakens around 7am and naps from 12-3.30/3 (although couple of months he is getting towards a 12.30 even 1pm naptime - still wakening around the same time).  If he wakens 2pm or so from his nap he is in bed by 6.30pm, otherwise 7pm

[nelliestar]

That's interesting Lucy. Thank you. Will try an early nap Thurs and Fri and see what happens. Managed to get him in bed for 6.45pm tonight and no noise at first but talking now. Lets see : ) xxxxx

[firsttimemummy]

fingers crossed xx

[nelliestar]

No joy! Ended up shouting at the top of his voice! Find it really hard to keep calm about it. I don't shout or anything but i think he can tell I'm a bit agitated. DH takes it in his stride, needless to say! ; )

Nursery days he's has 1 hr naps and I've got him in bed for 6.45 each evening. First night he talked for five mins 2nd night see above.

Today he woke at 5.30am and Dh settled him back but he woke again at 6am for the day. Went to the in laws and he was sooo grumpy and tired. Wouldn't each lunch and had a tantrum so was in bed for nap at 11.50am - earliest yet! Left him until 2pm and he was happy when he woke. Bed tonight at 6.45 and he is talking now - at 7pm- and just starting to raise his voice. Just went in and he tried to get up! Had to stroke his head and tell him not to shout and its sleep time and i won't be coming up again (harsh!) And if he shouted I WOULD go up again! He is still talking now 7.10. DH says he calms him down and strokes him but I can't get him to lie down to even try that most of the time. And me man- handling him makes him more agitated.
Have tried meds a couple of early mornings just to see but they haven't helped.

Shall we just persevere with the above plan? DH seems to deal with all this better than me but he is going away next Tues for 6 days so am slightly worried.

Hugs,
Nell xxx

[firsttimemummy]

would giving him a reward for talking quietly (ie not shouting) work? Murray used to bang his cot and put the light on/off for his daytime nap - if he lay quietly, keeping the light off (you are best to tell them what behaviour you want to see, rather that what you don't want to see) he would get a reward (ie watch a specific programme I would record during his nap, or something else he can do/get as soon as he wakens up)

[nelliestar]

I don't think he would understand "if you do this, you will get this" for sleep to be honest.

Today he woke at 5.25am and DH tried to settle him but got him up at 5.45am when he didn't go back to sleep. He had a good long nap at 12 noon til 2.15 and we have just put him down at 6.30pm. He seems to get more and more agitated and noisy as the evening goes on and DH just gave him meds before bed as he thinks he may be teething those molars - maybe he hasn't got them all. He wasn't showing any real signs at bedtime tonight and seemed to be running around trying to find things to do to be naughty and laughing. DH said he stroked his face for a couple a minutes when he put him down.

Yesterday at 12.30 I tried to put him down for nap but he wouldn't go and went crazy trying to climb out of cot.Had to get him up and wait a while, so he didn't fall asleep for his nap til 1.40pm which is ridiculous! Things went from bad to worse when DH decided we should put him down later at 7.20 and "see what happens". He shouted/talked until 7.50pm so had a night sleep last night of 9 hrs and 40 mins - an all time low I think!!! Urrgghhhhhh..... am clueless what to do.

He's still talking now 6.45 just waiting to see what happens. And wishing I could be more accepting and laid back about things..........

Nell xxxxx