Author Topic: So we really need some help. STing a v spirited 13mo-it's not going to be pretty  (Read 6566 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline *Liz*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 394
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16629
  • Living beyond
  • Location: England
No, you don't stay until they are calm. You return, check, say sleepy phrase and leave again. Same as PD for an older baby - you just PD, say phrase and leave.

Both of mine roared when I turned and left - it must be really infuriating!! - but if I stayed and held back a bit you could start to see a settling pattern after the initial roar iyswim?? Then they may escalate again and I would enter again. It does take a few days for them to figure out the pattern, but again, you are there, they know you are, it is just that you are not doing as they wanted/expected.

(((hugs)))

Offline cuckoochick

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 136
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7648
  • Mummy to Charlotte Rose and Georgia May
  • Location: North East England
I'm not sure if I am hanging back too much or what. She is just crying and crying. So I take it I shouldn't be lying her down either? It's hard to know what the crying is right now because we've always tried to avoid any crying whatsoever.




*Nicola*

Offline cuckoochick

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 136
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7648
  • Mummy to Charlotte Rose and Georgia May
  • Location: North East England
She is soaking in sweat now from all the crying. She is seeming to quietened down but I hate to think she's going to fall asleep from exhaustion. She's quiet in between roars now. Why does this feel like I'm letting her CIO? :'(




*Nicola*

Offline ZacsMumme

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 425
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 23962
  • You complete me
  • Location: NZ
    • Tomi & Roo Boutique
Sme as Liz here. I found I really had to take a moment to breathe in and out while listening because as you leave they do a big protest yell!

Tom got sweaty too...it's not very nice but it's bound to happen - particularly if it's hot anyway. She will cool down.

I know it's horrid, but your not leaving her to CIO. Take comfort in that your helping her learn to sleep on her own and that she is angry and tired not scared and alone. :-*
***Sara***
https://www.facebook.com/tomiandroo


DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline *Liz*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 394
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16629
  • Living beyond
  • Location: England
It isn't CIO because you are there to respond if she truly needs you, you are monitoring the situation, you are popping in and out to reassure. If it was CIO at this age you would do none of those things.

If she is quietening down I think it is because she is working out that there is a pattern to this 'I cry and Mummy comes and tells me it is sleepy time, but she doesn't lift me, or BF me, or sit chatting to me'. It is that type of thing really.

It is hard - I know it is - and I probably have a bit more tolerance for this side of stuff  :'( :-\ :-\. Thing is, I just couldn't give up every night or evening  :-[ :-[. My job is too demanding and if I had made a mistake  :-\ :-\, and it is even worse for DH  :-\. Plus I tried GW and it just did not work.

I think it is important you remember that bit - you have tried GW and lots of other things before  :'( :'(.

Offline ZacsMumme

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 425
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 23962
  • You complete me
  • Location: NZ
    • Tomi & Roo Boutique
The other important thing I found at this age is that apop wasn't actually working anyway anymore. It sounds like this is the case with G too :-\ when it gets like this it's awful on everyone
***Sara***
https://www.facebook.com/tomiandroo


DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline cuckoochick

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 136
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7648
  • Mummy to Charlotte Rose and Georgia May
  • Location: North East England
She went to sleep after about 30mins so it was less than last night with me in there. But it was obviously harder. Gah- I can't even have wine as I'm on a diet!!!

Thank you ladies. I knew I had to keep going even if I felt like rushing in and cuddling her (which probably wouldn't have gotten her to sleep anyway!)




*Nicola*

Offline Aishi

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 105
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6363
  • Location:
No it wouldn't have. If she's anything like my spirited dd then it would have made her more mad when I tried  to leave and would have ultimately taken longer.

30 min is awesome for first night! Well done you!
aishi :)

Offline jessmum46

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 411
  • Posts: 14235
  • Location: UK
Great job!!

Offline *Liz*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 394
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16629
  • Living beyond
  • Location: England
Oh honey, the thing is she can have all the cuddles she needs once you have sorted out this blip. You can sneak an extra 3 in tomorrow morning  ;).

30 mins isn't bad at all, remember the next few days will still be horrid  :'(, but then you should start to see some improvement  :). Which is long overdue and very much deserved by yourself and your DH  :-* :-*.

Offline ZacsMumme

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 425
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 23962
  • You complete me
  • Location: NZ
    • Tomi & Roo Boutique
30 mins isn't bad at all, remember the next few days will still be horrid  :'(, but then you should start to see some improvement  :). Which is long overdue and very much deserved by yourself and your DH  :-* :-*.
^^ this

What about a gin and diet tonic (or vodka lol)

Well done Hun. 30 mins is great!
***Sara***
https://www.facebook.com/tomiandroo


DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline KookyK

  • BW Devotee
  • ****
  • Showing Appreciation 7
  • Posts: 497
  • Location: Surrey
Well done sounds like you're doing well. I think I may need to do WI wO with my 11.5 month old so I'm watching closely. Keep up the good work x
DD jan 2008
DS August 2013

Offline anna*

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 900
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 28751
  • My two
  • Location: London, UK
30 mins is amazing. There is a lot of crying and I daresay a few times she will crash from exhaustion but that's not the end of the world. You're doing great.





Offline <Catherine>

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 149
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 10265
  • Location: UK
Amazing! Keep at it lovely, you're doing fab and so is Georgia. It'll all be over before you know it xxx
Catherine x








Offline jessmum46

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 411
  • Posts: 14235
  • Location: UK
Thinking of you today and hoping you got a good night xx