Hi there Tabathagucci
I have some thoughts which you may take or leave.
I noticed a few things through your thread, a lot of mention of OS, OT, resisting swaddle, resisting nap, laughing or smiling at you at nap PD. And on the opposite side I read she has gone down easily after a busy school visit, has had one or two exceptionally long naps after being totally OT/OS, is being active and making noise when there are activities at a distance from her, going down easily during the period you had a nanny or sleep trainer in when she was awake 90-120 mins at a time.
As an outsider looking in all of this sounds to me like too little stimulation (US) and too short an A time (UT). I realise I am the lone voice in suggesting this, about 5 years back a lone voice suggested similar to me - and was right.
It seems to me this LO is ready for more stimulation, she would like to be held, spoken to, played with and right in there with the action, being shown things and told about things, handed things to hold and explore (not necessarily toys, many household objects are safe enough to offer, a wooden spoon for instance or a plastic tub). Rather than signs of OS when she is watching from a distance it may instead be frustration that she is not right in there in the action and being interacted with fully and completely. Frustration may also be due to activity not being changed when she would like it to be, so rather than too much activity it is that she is ready to move on to something else, and not necessarily low key just something else.
WRT A times, I imagine she is going to sleep somewhat better with increased stimulation but I would also increase the A time and keep it set for a few days to see how it rolls out. 1hr 45 minimum regardless of nap length, so yes even after a short nap. and possibly looking more towards 2hrs. In my opinion the naps currently are awful, entirely too short and no good for anyone, and this has been the same situation for some times now so perhaps it is safe to say two things:
- the shorter A and lower stimulation had a chance and didn't seem to help
- how much worse can it really get? Have a think about what could happen if you try longer A and more stimulation, at worst totally rubbish naps, well that is what she is having already.
and finally on A times, it is actually also okay to go over the guidance times if that is what your LO needs. Mine needed longer than guidance as do many others, those times are only guidance not set rules.
I would keep E times steady rather than automatically feeding on WU, if that means feed times are sometimes closer to nap time that's okay.
I would also watch out for and listen for any reflux signs. I have also experienced a doc (or several) telling me my DS did not need meds because he was not in pain and was a "happy spitter" believe me there was nothing happy about it, but he politely smiled at strangers so they didn't see the screaming fits. If you see any signs of reflux or silent reflux, smelly breath or hiccups etc I would return to the doc and be clear you want meds/different meds/increased meds/a referral to a specialist, whatever it takes to get LO the attention needed.
Some things to think about there.
Wishing you rest and good sleep vibes whatever you decide.
