Figuring out A times and wind down routine for possibly touchy 10 week old

[Tabathagucci]

Hi there!  DD will be 11 weeks Thursday and is a reflux baby and seems to be on the touchy side.  She seems to get easily overstimulated, cries when pooped off the breast or put down, eyes get super wide going from light to dark rooms (doesn't seem to mind light tho), and hates being swaddled but doesn't sleep well if she's not. I've had a terrible time figuring out her A times.  I'm lucky if I get more than one nap a week where she goes down within 10 minutes and stays asleep longer than 25 mins.   Usually it takes me 15 to 30 minutes or more to get her down only to have her sleep 25 minutes. Sometimes I can soothe her back to sleep after the 25 minute mark most times I can't.  It seems for her that 25 minutes is overtired, overstimulated and even undertired.  Sometimes it could be reflux!?!?  Anyway, I have a 4.5 year old  which makes it impossible to have a calm and quiet environment.  Any tips on how to navigate this? I try so hard to get a longer than 25 minute nap but it never seems to work out and I end up putting her down several times daily  and spending so much time to get her to sleep and then keep her to sleep if she wakes up, which is exhausting.

[Tabathagucci]

 Forgot to add that I'd like suggestions for a  Wind down  routine. at this point we count our way up the stairs one time for each stair, change her diaper,  sing a song and walk quietly around the room, swaddle and put down. I put her down in a carrier on me almost all the time at this point because I have the older child. But sometimes I put her down in a lounger for  infants  and pat her to sleep.   When I swaddle her she gets so upset and worked up that I feel like it overstimulates her and then I have a really hard time getting her down. In addition if I don't have her window just right which most the time I don't she gets frustrated as well at least that's what it seems like. So really just need some overall suggestions as to where to go with this and how to figure out what's right for her. Hopefully someone on here is dealt with this type a baby before and can explain things to me.    Thanks In advance!

[FPT23]

Hiii!!

Sending positive vibes your way and much love! Tough work, right? ...I want to chime in (and follow for any possible suggestions from any of the other moms out here ) and let you know, your not alone in this struggle! We seem to be going through exact similar issues... Down to the 4.5 yo ..only my LO is 10 weeks old

I've seen already a few posts (mine included) where at this age, swaddled and wind down/naps are getting difficult. My posts sound similar to yours IRT the swaddle! Hates it out of no where but he needs it too!...super short naps/resettling and wind down taking yeaaaars.... Super OT! He used to go down so easy too !! I think around this time they discover their limbs and are becoming more active. So we might be in this for sometime... I know I am until I wean the swaddle... He suddenly started crying too as I wrapped him and just grunting and resisting it or being held in general..... it seems now too there is a link to A times that maybe a moderator can link for you but at this age I think it's 1 hr - 1hr 15/20 mins.

Hang in there!!! I know I'm trying myself xoxo!! 

[Tabathagucci]

Hi!  Thanks for your post and good to know its not just me!  Having a bed time accepting my entire day consists of mostly putting her to sleep, which is difficult at best.  I'm very familiar with the A times link and have been studying it praying for the days when I only have to do this every two hours not every hour!  LOL
I think her morning A time is 1h10m and then goes to 1h15-20 after that but still trying to figure it out.  With it overstimulation and reflux in the mix plus her getting angry with the swaddle it's so hard to tell!  I guess all I can do is keep trying.  Some days I just want to say screw it and cart her about out of the house but she doesn't sleep well on the go at all and any more than two hours out of the house without at least a car nap turns her into a hysterical baby. I don't want to wish these days away because I know I'll miss then but man are they hard!

[Tabathagucci]

And good point about just discovering the hands!  She loves sucking on her fists and have considered leaving them out but after a few minutes of trying to get her to settle with them out I end up swaddling them in anyway!

[FPT23]

You sound just like meee hehe

My A times are all over the place with his wind down taking so long!!! Or him resisting!!!
You know, I feel the same about napping so often! I never thought I would say "I hate naps!" Haha! But life will be easier when I only need to worry about 2 naps a day haha!

If he doesn't resettle in 20 mins, I just take him out and pray for good distraction and keep him as comfortable as possible until we go back again. You know, getting out of the house is what I do on bad nap days!!! I'm sorry yours doesn't do well out... Hugs! Not even the stroller? Like a walk around the park or mall? It's what I do! I would go nuts focusing on these crazy naps! Especially when they don't even go long at all!

Hang in there with me!

[becj86]

I presume you've been doing all the things you can wrt reflux - raising the head of the bed, keeping upright after a feed, feeding small amounts often if that's what keeps LO comfortable... have you looked into meds at all? Really, sleep is probably going to be a bit tricky if LO is suffering burning reflux every time they're laid down flat for a sleep, yk? That waking at 25min is quite possibly pain. Could be OT or OS as well but unusual to not get ANY decent naps in a full day at this age unless there's some pain there.

Have you tried white noise to even out the noise from your 4.5yo?

[Tabathagucci]

Hi!  Doing everything you mentioned!  She never lies flat. 😊  We tried Zantac with no success and the reflux doesn't seem to cause pain as she doesn't cry or fuss unless she needs burp. The reflux does tend to wake her at times tho.  Ped did not want to try other meds at this point based on what she saw.

[becj86]

That's good I thought you would be... not much I can offer, your A time looks fine, you could try a touch more as she's pretty close to 3 months but if she's only sleeping 25min, its not likely to be UT. Is she ever sleeping longer naps?

[Tabathagucci]

She does, or did, occasionally until today.  Not sure if her sleep pattern has changed all of a sudden but the last two days most of her nails have been 30-40 minutes.  And today my sitter got her to sleep 40 minutes in her crib then got her back to sleep and she slept another 2 hours!  That never happens!  So the A times are hard to figure because she yawns sometimes anywhere from 30-45 mintutes after she wakes, even after a good long nap.  Then if I try to put her down she seems angry.  She's also all of a sudden not fighting the swaddle.  I'm still putting her down around 1h5m and she falls asleep around 1h15m but sometimes she fights it hard and she falls asleep between 1h20m and 1h30m.  Sometimes this results in a longer nap and sometimes the 25 minutes...

[FPT23]

Hi I'm back to chime in!!

My lo first nap (when his WU is normal and I caught it. Sometimes he EWs and won't resettle or wakes and I don't know as he wont call me and is just there haha. I usually suspect ar least had been up for 10-15. He's in our room too! He just wakes quietly some days!) is at 1.5 A time! It seems to get me at least an hour lately. Again, assuming our WU time is more balanced. So as it was mentioned, some pushing can help? Mine is 10 weeks old; a week younger. Maybe you can try 1hr 15? If it was a good WU and rested. I notice if he does anything less than a 1.5 nap, the next A time works at 1 hr. Then if that was at least 1 hr, he's pretty happy and the next can extend again a bit but only to 1 hr 15.

I go by how he's feeling. Depends his nights too... Some mornings after rubbish EWs or unknown exact WU time he's already OT come normal hours and then the whole day is OFF.

I have to agree that if it's all bad short naps of 20 mins, something might be causing discomfort. I say this bc the past week I've posted about the same issues (fighting swaddle, resisting naps, Unknown A times etc..as I told you above) and come to realize Monday, he has a tummy bug. He's been pooing' round the clock. It concerned me as it can dehydrate them and all that... Today, he went back to decent naps (not prefect! Hehe)

I had my MIL with me and I was able to focus 100 on him and get him rested as he's been Sooo OT lately from discomfort! ...and I focused on proper A times and it worked out. As we approach 3 months A times need to gradually get closer to 2 hrs which comes at 4 months.. Yk? I mean from what I've seen on BW and advised from the great moms/moderators here too!

[Tabathagucci]

Sorry he was feeling icky but glad things are getting easier now!  My husband is taking a couple weeks off of work soon and I have hired a sleep coach to put together a plan that I will start as soon as he's off and can take care of our son.  Hoping that with one focused week, I can get her on track and get to a point where it only takes a few minutes to put her down so I don't leave him watching tv all day... To prepare I've been working on putting her down drowsy but awake and soothing her to sleep and have been able to do it a few times.  Today it seemed she was OT and OS and I had to PU/PD four times but it finally worked and after a total A time of 1h45m she has been asleep for 45 minutes and counting!  Not sure if that means I should push A times?  I feel like when I put her down later it takes forever to get her down because she's either OT or OS!  So confusing!

[Tabathagucci]

I seriously look at A time chart every day dreaming of when she doesn't sleep so much!

[FPT23]

I think it's inevitable to avoid OT/OS at this age. And there is always something to tweak! I'm glad you will have some help and support! Great to hear! Keep us posted !!!

Yes he's been ill it's so sad! but he's getting better a little at a time!

Trust- I too look at those A times for the same reason... Mainly for the oldest child. As I said it once and will repeat.. I hate naps! Haha I really am looking forward to 2 naps or even 1 a day. I was all about them the first time around and now I don't care haha! Short naps are also developmental and I think become more solid at around 6+ months, yk? If I remember correctly from my first. The nap transitions themselves are awful too,  as I remember the work in them with my first but just to not have to focus so much on them and so much time haha again, bc I hate leaving my oldest. It's crappy but we will get there before we know it

[Tabathagucci]

So funny, so different second time around.  I used to love naps too now can't stand them.  When it's one or two a day will be nice!