Figuring out A times and wind down routine for possibly touchy 10 week old

[Tabathagucci]

Ok thank you!  Will try to put her down at 1h35-40 tomorrow!  Like everyone said. What's the worst that can happen!

[Tabathagucci]

Put her down at 1h35m and she was OT, needing paci held in while settling.  Maybe I needed to wind her down for longer but had to go back down stairs to help my son with something of course!  Should I still stick with this time for s few days?  Maybe add 5 mins to the wind down?

[creations]

Well, I wouldn't. I'd try a longer A and shorter wind down, but that's me. It's only that it seems to me you've tried long wind down and short A times, low key activity and so on and they have all resulted in short naps and fussing.  That's why I'd go the other way.  But like I say, that's me, looking at the information here and also knowing what my DS was like. I tried short A times and long wind down too, he did not appreciate it at all.

[Martini~]

What kind of a nap she did after 1:35?

[becj86]

With these ones who crave stimulation, a long WD is too much, they really don't need that much of one.

[ireneasheard]

I agree re wind down for a touchy baby. My touchy baby definitely doesn't need a long wind down, think someone here summed it up by saying "less is more". I definitely don't wind down for longer than 5 minutes and babe doesn't need me to hold him to drowsiness as he needed me to when he was a newborn. He also does better with more activity time and not being put into bed at first yawn because he is tired enough to nap but not sleep  (my son anyway, just my experience ) every time I put him down on first yawn he catnaps so it's a fine line finding him tired but not overtired.

[FPT23]

I agree with less is more!

Our wind down is simply swaddle, white noise, paci-- crib. Haha! Then settle from there! I literally do nothing of a wind down, really. I prefer dropping to low key activity time before his wind down as a way to keep the A time long.

Today I ended up doing a 1.5 A time (14 weeks old) ....and of course 45 min nap ...hes been long napping lately at 2 hrs but I PD earlier as he's been a little sick... So I wanted him to ovoid OT. Got a short nap. Keep trying those long A times

[Tabathagucci]

Thanks!  She did a 30 min nap after a 1h35m A time.  Then a 45 minute nap after a 1h30m A time.  I get the feeling she needs a lower A time as the day professes because her naps are so short and she gets increasingly OT, but honestly, her behavior seems the same when I put her down OT and UT so really hard to tell.  And she has zero tired cues... She occasionally yawns but never at any consistent time. Sometimes it after I start the wind down, sometimes it's 30 minutes after she wakes and anywhere in between...

[Tabathagucci]

Ok definitely think she needs a 5-10 minute mellow time before putting her down.  I pushed her too far this morning because I was putting a show on for my older son and the system kept freezing.  She yawned 3 times while I was trying to get the darn show on and when I put her down was all jittery and now keeps waking up when the paci falls out, which she does when either ot or os.  So I have a question, if she falls asleep and then wakes up a few minutes later when the paci falls out but falls asleep right away again once it's back in, do I count all that as sleep?

I'm also having trouble deciding at the end of the day whether to do a 20 minute catnap or just put her to bed early, but with a long A time window. We've ended up doing both over the last two days and both resulted in her waking up after sleeping 30 minutes.  I'll try to post details/examples later.  Thanks!

[ireneasheard]

I would count it as sleep if straight back to sleep. The problem I see is possibly the paci is becoming a bad prop if babe is waking without it but that's another issue I'm sure admin might be able to assist with.
Re bedtime - mostly we have a nap before bath (8 week old here). Sometimes he fights the nap and if he does I don't get worked up about getting my son to take it. I'll try to resettle but it's obvious quickly if he is going to take it or not. I'll move bedtime earlier if he simply won't take it I don't get too hung up on the nap and don't get hooked on a particular time like a schedule. I do however try to make sure it is around the same time each day. Bedtime is usually 7pm here but if it is a little earlier (our earliest recently has been 6.35pm as nap was not taken) but we managed to get back on track the next day. I just use judgement to work out whether something is working and if I try a few times and it doesn't work I won't do it again or try again in a few weeks. Things change so much in the first few months, I've tweaked our wind down routine as well as my son doesn't need me to be as hands on lately to settle.

[Tabathagucci]

Thanks!  She only needs the paci replugged like that when she's OT or OS, which has been a lot the last couple days.  She's definitely dependent because we were told to push the paci early on to help with reflux so we were told to hold it in her mouth if needed.  So I'm just looking to get by till she can put it in herself.  We did this with my son and it worked fine.  Once she's fully out, she doesn't wake up and need it back (at least at night).

[Tabathagucci]

Ok I have a follow up question but has to do with night wakings/feedings so let me know if I should post on a different board. We were cosleeping her in a lounger called the podster in our bed at night. DH would walk her to sleep in a carrier and she'd sleep on him till she woke for the first feeding, which started at 12 or 1.  He would hold the paci in if she woke and the times began extending later. As they got later we started transferring her from the carrier around 9-10 pm to the podster where she'd sleep with me till she woke for the next feed.  I would sometimes use the paci to get her back to sleep if she woke early.  We eventually got to a point where she was going from about 7 pm to 3/4 am and a couple times till 5/5:30 am before waking.  I attribute some of this to the paci and some (quite a bit) to her just extending her night sleep on her own. 
However, And I think this happened as we transitioned her to the crib (around 3 months and old) and stopped walking her to sleep, she started waking earlier.  We implemented a dream feed at 10/11 to help.  Currently she goes from about 6/7, dream feed 10/11, early morning feed 2:30/4 and then up again around 5/6:30, about 4 hours max after the dream feed.
I have not been too successful at getting her back to sleep with the paci since then because by the time I hear her and get to her she's more awake I think.  Tonight I was able to paci her back to sleep fairly easily by holding a hand on her chest and holding the paci in her mouth for about 3 minutes. She kept the paci in for 15 mins then stayed asleep for 15 more once it fell out.  I repeated the paci and she settled again fairly easily, this time keeping the paci in herself for 25 mins and stayed asleep for 7 mins more once it fell out, so total extension was about 1 hour.  I'd like to extend her night sleep and wondering how best to do this.  Maybe drop the dream feed and try to paci her back to sleep for a few nights in a row if she wakes before 4-5 hours?  Is this worth trying during the 4 month regression or should I wait till its over?  Any other suggestions, ways to do this differently or better?

[creations]

Sorry I don't have paci experience.

[becj86]

I never had to hold the paci in - L was always pretty vocal, if I gave paci, he would either fall immediately back to sleep or scream at me in which case he got milk. I think its pretty reasonable with her age for her to eat this frequently - I understand you wanting to extend night sleep and you can do it that way if you wish, of course. My suggestion would be that she has done it once and can do it again when she's ready, so pushing may result in it happening a little earlier but its so much extra lost sleep for you that it might not be worth it in the grand scheme of things, especially if you're increasing the paci prop.

[Tabathagucci]

Thanks for your feedback!  We only have to replug or hold the paci in if she's having trouble getting to sleep (OT, UT or OS or job the middle of the night). We were told early on by doctors and nurses to hold the paci in to soothe her because of the reflux and now she's kind of hooked.  I sometimes wonder if I should take away the swaddle because she loves sucking on her fingers but I also don't want her to suck her fingers!  Any thoughts on this?

Anyway, with regards to the night sleep and wakings, the next night she went all the way till 5 am without waking!  Then last night she woke at 2:10, on the early side as the dream feed was at 11, and I was able to get her back to sleep.  She slept again till 5 at which point I fed her and put her back down and she slept till 7:15 so it appears to be semi-working!  I agree on it possibly not being worth it because it deprives me of sleep, but I often don't get much sleep after that 2/3 am feed anyway.  Will keep trying and see how it does and still contemplating dropping dream feed.