Oh help - don't remember it being so hard

[Vally]

What a little superstar he was last night. He went to bed at 730pm fed at 11pm, 3pm,6pm and up at 830am. He settled nicely in between feeds in his basket so had some great sleep. Fingers crossed it continues x

[Shiv52]

Yay!!!!! Bet you feel amazing after some sleep.

I think you play bedtime by ear as you say and maybe see how it goes once the others are back to school with wake up?

You're doing great!!! Well done for persevering!!

[Vally]

Just thought I'd give you an update. He's doing pretty well and feeding every three hours during the day, sometimes a little more or less to fit in around school runs, after school activities eye. At night he tends to go down about 730pm wakes at 1130pm, 230pm which is great. He can then stir about 430am and I really don't think he's hungry as he takes one or two sucks and then really not anymore. I think some of it is wind as he's very grungy!!  He just generally seems to want to resettle to sleep but finds it hard. I've been giving him a pacifier and cuddling him back to sleep which does help and sometimes after half hour will go back to sleep for up to 2 hours. Do you think that using the pacifier and a cuddle is going to cause me problems later on or do you think as he grows he will start to have deeper sleeps at this time? I could feed again but want to get in the habit of feeding more at night than the day as this was something that happened with DD where she hardly fed in the day as she quite enjoyed the 'night cafe'!!!

[Shiv52]

Wow!!! He's doing GREAT!!!!!

If he's resettling at 4.30 for 2 hours then he's likely not hungry especially if he's not taking much of a feed. I don't think resettling as you are will cause an issue given he's still so little and not like you can just leave him to it if he's getting upset.   I know what you mean about feeding more at night but at this early age it is often the case they feed round the clock anyways!! The joys eh?  So if a feed settles him quicker id likely just feed.  Hard to know.

Sorry for a late reply. We're back to school and getting back into routine is kicking my ass

[Vally]

I know what you mean about the school run! I was half asleep this morning. He was so unsettled after about 230am I just can't figure out whether it's hunger, Tummy ache or just he's not that tired. Do you think that it's because he has some good sleep at the start of the night along with lots of day sleep that he's just not that tired? He can sleep for 3 hours at a time in the day, should I wake him after say 2 hours in the day?

[Shiv52]

Yeah it might be worth not letting him sleep more that 2/2.5 hours in the day to see does that help. It's so hard though isn't it?  I do remembering hitting that point with N and saying to DH that we couldn't expect her to sleep all the time yk? But waking her during the day was a pain as when she was asleep I could get things done.

Hugs xx

[Shiv52]

Just checking in. How are you lovely?? Xxxx

[Vally]

Hello. Well all feels a bit crazy! I feel like we make 1 step forward and 2 steps back. He was doing a nice one stretch from about 730pm to 1230pm and although not at a time when I want to be sleeping felt as though at least he could do a long stretch and that would eventually help the overall routine. The last few nights he's fed about 7pm and then gone to sleep about 830pm. He then woke again at 10pm took a while to feed and resettle and then again at 1am and 330am. It's now 420am and I'm still up with him as he's been fed but just wide awake so I'm cuddling him with the dummy hoping he will go off to sleep!! I'm rely keen to try and start a bit of a routine. The day generally starts at 630am/7 so really want to aim for 7pm as bedtime. Do you think that we should try putting him down after his 7pm feed? He wander if he had got overtired as 830pm last night meant he's been awake for over 1.5 hours. Think the OH was thinking keeping him up as much as possible in the evening to help at night but this clearly doesn't help. Surely he should have at least one long stretch of sleep? Should I be waking him for feeds every 3 hours in the day as sometimes he goes 3.5 sometimes 4 hours and should naps be no longer than 2 hours? How's your school run doing? I had the pleasure of speaking to a mum telling me how her baby slept all night as a newborn!! Why do people feel the need to tell you these things and surely no newborn can sleep all night!!!

[Vally]

Well tonight now is just confusing. He's had a good day feeding every 3 hours and has not had really long naps, maybe 1.5 hours this morning from school run 1 hour at lunch, 1.5 hours at 2ish an hour around 5 or 6. He was awake at 7pm after a 45 nap so gave him feed and started to try and settle him before 7pm as I felt he had been getting over tired. Well he just didn't seem tired, eyes wide awake sometimes quite content other times upset as clearly tired. I tried pacifier and rocking and eventually he went to sleep at 9pm. He then woke at 1030pm so OH fed him and he just wouldn't settle. At 1245am I took him and have tried to feed, not interested and now it's 145am and rocking him to sleep. Why is he not tired? Aahhhhh

[Shiv52]

How'd the rest of the night go?

I think I would try and keep to 3 hourly feeds in the day, 3.5 at most.

I'd say last night the 1 hour nap at 5/6 probabably knocked him off the 7pm settling and maybe a bit of UT/OT going on. I was always fairly flexible with bedtime but we seem to have from fairly early had a natural 7.30 start to the day and of course now we need to be up for school she's sleeping on to 8!!! At 3.5/4 months she was asleep for the night at 7.30/8.30.

I've found it really tricky with the others. Like tonight the girls have dancing and the baby will sleep in the car and that will knock bedtime later to more like 8.30 as she'll sleep on and off while we're out. And yeaterday she ended up totally OT with the school runs and we'd to visit my wee granny so she just didn't sleep in the afternoon properly.

But from 2/3 months I did need to be aware of just how much day sleep she was getting as it did affect nights. 

Has your LO started smiling yet?!

[Vally]

Thanks. Yes I do think there is some OT/UT going on. Today he fed at 715am, 1030, 130,430pm. He's been cat napping all day and just one 2 hour sleep. It's now 6.15pm and he's really tired but not die a feed until 730pm should I let him have a short nap now and then go for a later bedtime say at 8pm and I guess should I wake him at 7pm ish? He was awake this morning at 7am so a 7pm bedtime would be good but as he's drifting off to sleep now without a feed I guess it will have to be later or do you think i should have fed him and make bedtime now? I'm so confused! He's been smiling and really alert today, has not really Seemed as sleepy. I just don't seem to be able to get a bedtime sorted???

[Shiv52]

How is he at feeding early?  If he tends to feed ok I'd have been tempted to just feed and pop him to bed for 7. If not just let him doze then do a bigger feed later and bed a bit later.

What did you end up doing?  My poor wee missy crashed an OT mess at 7.30. Ugh!

[Vally]

So he went to sleep at 615pm without a feed so I woke him at 730pm. Felt bad as he looked so happy!! He then settled fairly well after about 8ish as I think he was still pretty tired. DH then fed him at 1130pm but then has struggled to get him to sleep so at 130pm I'm now getting him to sleep with short feed and cuddle. I can't understand why he's not tired after his feed and take so long to fall back to sleep. DH put his dummy in and just put him down but he doesn't settle like that. I cuddle him in my arms until he's in a deep sleep then put him down which might be bad but I'm hoping he's still young it's ok to do this. Maybe tomorrow I could try giving him another feed if he looks like he wants to sleep at 630pm especially if he's awake at 630am?

[Shiv52]

Sorry I thought I replied last night when I was up feeding about 2.30!!

I think to just put him down as your DH is is probably expecting a bit much. It's fine to help him.

I wondered if he is waking for that 11pm feed or is your DH doing it as a DF?  I find if I can get N fed while she's still sleeping she just goes right back to sleep but if she wakes too much she treats it as nap and Leo's forever getting back to sleep.   

How'd the rest of the night go? And today?

[Vally]

The 1130pm feed was just when DS woke so maybe we could try DF again? Although he took a while to settle after this feed the rest of the night pretty good with a feed at 330am and then he stirred at 530am but instead of me stepping in straight away I realised all of his grunting was him actually still asleep but in light sleep so I drifted back to sleep and then he woke for morning feed at 630am. This evening gone a bit off as I was hoping for just the 1130pm and 330am feed again but as he went down really nicely at 630pm he woke at 1030pm and then at 130am so I'm just settling him back to sleep now. He didn't really want to feed much and I wander if I stepped in too soon or he may have been just thirsty as its a very warm night. I suspect that he will now need another feed before the 630am as I can't see him doing a 5 hour stretch until morning now. I wish I'd tried the pacifier at 130am although probably just as easy to feed.