Sounds like you are moving in the right direction
It's quite an improvement from where you started isn't it?
I totally understand wanting to let him sleep longer for that morning nap if the afternoon nap is unpredictable, I just want to mention a few things so that you are aware:
- longer morning nap, especially a long nap, especially coming quite early in the day, can lead to EW. If WU time gets earlier I suggest you look at this.
- having less consistency in the routine leads to less consistency in the routine - ie to encourage a long afternoon nap the morning nap needs to be short if you want to get to a place where the full day (and night) is predictable
- having a long morning nap is a great routine for many LOs (followed by a CN in the afternoon) but if you are unable to do it every day it can go off track on a weekly basis. Waking him in the morning to get to swimming class on 1 day only can lead to 3 or 4 days getting back on track...by which time you only have a couple of days consistency before again waking him for the next weeks swim class. Some LOs can get back on track much faster so it depends how you observe things over time.
- a shorter afternoon nap could impact on the A time before BT and if too long may lead to OT at BT or the need for early BT which in turn could lead to an earlier wake up.
So if you observe any of those things you will know you need to re-think the routine.
WRT extending the WD with books this can be a great way to add a bit for A time before the nap but also be aware for some it can be over stimulating too close to nap time. Again it's just something to keep in mind.
We've also been trying to do less touching and rubbing as you've suggested we also think that we actually annoy him doing it!
ha ha, he will be telling you to get out of the room next! How about settle him down and leave now, just say "have a nice sleep, call if you need me" and go. You can always sit outside the room if you want to so that you are close for a return if needed.
it can feel quite strange when LO starts to self sooth and be more independent for sleep, almost as though you are not needed any more. He does still need you and always will.