how do you define sleeping through the night?

[mari]

Gosh Mari, I hope you don't think I was criticising you because that hadn't even entered my mind!  I'm more of an all or nothing cold turkey kind of gal too but I sensed Mukta might want to try an alternative.  

Not at all, I think that our posts crossed.  I think that it could be many things stopping Mutka's lo from sleeping and with all of our sugggestions then I'm sure that she will be able to pin point the problems soon. 
With all our help and guidance then I;m sure that she is going to crack it soon.
 

[Mama2boys]

Ladies, you are the best. I actually got so motivated thjat will start tonight, provided LO is not feeling ill tonight. So taht way the wekeend i can have a bit of a break wrt sleep etc and will be well on my way next week when DH is out.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi mukta    I'm still stalking you!

You CAN do this. Really you can. I know you want to! And trust me, Mari will not lead you astray. When she first started posting here she and Alex were a total mess so if anyone can bear witness to true sleep training it's her!

[Mama2boys]

Hi Jessica, good to see you are stalkig me and I have totally take up Mari's guidance and it seem sto be working, so thanks ladies your support has been invaluable.
Started sleep training on Friday night. DH was a PITA and thougt I was making a mess and starving DS etc etc. I stuck to my guns and sent him off to the guest bedroom
So Friday night DS was up at 1pm and I had to do wiwo and a bit of tummy/back rubbing and at times he would nod off for 5 at times 15 mins but finally at 3am he was back at sleep.
saturday night, he was up at 12:30 but within 15 min of petting and belly rub routine was back to sleep.
So hopefully we are well on our way. But here are the problems
DS now gets up at 6ish for milk, which I am extremely happy abt and then after milk goes back to sleep till abt 7:30 when he starts his day...but since I started sleep training his whole eating routine is messed up, he refuses bfast which normally is at 8:30am and his bedtime milk is almost negligibe as he will barely dirnk more than 2oz. So I am a bit worried about his milk intake...any thoughts on what is happenning?

My thinking is, once I get the night sorted out, the day will sort of fall in place and I can work on it..should not try and do too much at the same time..your thoughts? I am assuming the day schedule will need a bit of tweaking once DS sleeps thorugh the night...for ex, mayeb delay the bfast as previously milk was at 4/5am so he was ready for bafst at 8:30, so maybe delay that to 9?

Thanks again, you guys are my strength...DS think I am member of some strange cult ..LOL...little does he knows, tis is stronger than a cult 

[mari]

Thanks for the compliment Jess.  I will try to help as much as possible, I know how hard it is, believe me!

How much milk should he be having at his age (don't remember now)  Maybe you could try a mid morning bottle.  I definitely agree to not try to take on too much and he certainly seems to be able to go the night without milk so it might even itself out when things settle.
I'm so pleased that you are giving this a go.  Don't be disheartened if it seems like he regresses after a promising start to the sleep training, keep at it.  Good luck, you are doing so well.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Oh Mari you know how I feel about you 

Mukta I am SO PROUD OF YOU!! Good for you for kicking DH out. They always mess things up anyway! I know you've been working hard on sleep for a long time so I'm thrilled that you're seeing improvements and have a good outlook.

[EllenS]

Hi, Mukta, just saw this thread.  Our lo's are similar age and size (mine is also 25% on weight).

She has been hanging on to that 3-4 AM feed as well.  I added back a milk feed along with her solid snack in the AM (we bf), and she made it 6:30-6:30 through the night without a feed.

She does get dicey if her schedule is messed up, as you observed with your lo -if her meals and snacks are not spaced out correctly she will not take as much as she should.

when we keep on a good schedule it is like this:

6:30a wake and milk
8a solid b'fast
9:45 snack + milk
10:20-11:00 nap
12:00 solid lunch
2:00 milk (we have not introduced the solid PM snack yet)
2:30-4 or 3:00-4:30 nap
5pm solid dinner
6:30 milk and bed.

It's a lot of feeds, but it gets her tanked up to go through the night. 

HTH!

[Mama2boys]

Hi ladies,

EllenS, thanks for your schedule, its remarkably similar to ours, just a bit compressed, DS starts day at 7:30/45 and ends it at 8, while you start at 6:30 and end at 6:30 as well, And we have also not dropped the afternoon bottle...but looks like you feed more frequently and at shorter intervals, so will try and give that a shot.

Last night was not as nice, and I messed up..DS woke every few hrs so had been a bit touch and finally at 4:45 when he woke up he was wide awake and staring at me. I just did not have the energy to go on, so broke down and gave him his morning bottle....bet he will have a decent bfast today, but am feeling very guilty  hope i have not undone the hard work of the last few days....
anyways: so here are a few more question..

Should I wake DS up for his morning bottle? or just Wait till eh wake sup and then give him the bottle? Right now I wake him up at abt 7:30/45 and start his day...

also for his morning bottle at times he wont wake up at 6ish if I manage to get him back to sleep after the 5am wake-up...what should I do, wake him up or just let him wake up at his own time?

I have to wake him up for his afternoon naps as well...sleepyhead he is..once he falls asleep that is!

thats all for now, but I will be leaning on you wise ladies a lot the coming week. DH is travelling which is good and bad as I cant get a break...also work full time but hey its all for my darling Ds who mumbled something that sounded like 'I love you' to me this morning

[KellyC]

You're doing such a great job Mukta, it's tough but it will be a distant memory one day. {hugs} if you need them.

When you say he was wide awake and just staring at you in the night, do you mean he wasn't upset, he was just awake?  Are you sleeping alongside him whilst you're sleep training?  Really you don't need to do anything unless he's upset.  We all (adults and children!) wake or come into a light sleep during the night only some haven't yet learnt how to roll over and go back to sleep.  Leave him to it when this happens and he'll either get upset and you'll deal with it or he may surprise you and go back to sleep without a fuss.

Do you mean you're waking him at 6am for his morning bottle?  His bedtime is at 8pm right?  It's up to you whether you wake him in the morning if he's still sleeping.  It certainly helps to keep the rest of the day on track and build a consistent routine but I know how hard it can be to stir yourself if nobody's waking you in the morning!!  I wouldn't consider waking him until 8am though if his bedtime is 8pm and would only give a morning bottle earlier if he wakes before his usual (8am) wake-up time.

Good luck for tonight.

Kelly x

[Mama2boys]

that makes sense Kelly...so he wake sup and night and whimpers/cries, at times its only for the pacifier and he goes back to sleep, but if he stays awake and cries/stays awake i think its for milk, when he cries i know its surely for milk...or so i have believed so far.

He sleeps in his own room so I don't sleep by him, don't want to add to the issues...

as for waking him up, I was sort of giving him the 6am bottle in his sleep and waking him for the day at 7:30, which I'd think I'd like to stay with, but will wait for him to demand the milk Rather than give it to him in his sleep...

his eating has become very poor since I have started sleep training him..do you think its related? today he was in bed and sleep by 7:20, so wonder if he was OT at 8 when he normally falls asleep..lets see how tonight goes.

thanks for hugs and support.. its hard by my heart is hopeful

[KellyC]

Maybe he's not eating so well because he's feeling more tired than usual.  Fingers crossed his appetite picks up when he starts getting some more restful sleep at night. 

I think when he wakes up at night and starts crying it's because he doesn't know how to go back to sleep (yet!) and the milk helps him to achieve that - he doesn't want the milk as such, he just wants some assistance!  I only thought you were sleeping in his room because you knew he was awake during the night even though he wasn't crying for you.  You must be suffering from rubbish sleep too to hear every single noise    Definitely don't go to him if he doesn't need you to and definitely don't wake yourself up at 6am to feed him if he's in the land of nod!!

Kelly x

[Mama2boys]

thanks Kelly....he woke up every 2 hrs lats night...I am drained most of the times 10:30/12:30/3 - he just went back to sleep when I replace the pacifier and at 5 i just snapped and gave in and gave him the milk. and regretted it instantly..so he had milk at 5 but a decent bfast! ahh forgot to mention also pooped at 5:30 something he  never ever does so yet another wake up call for poor me...

Anyways woke up at 7:20 so 12 hrs of sleep technically and was up for the day. and didn't cry just moaned to tell me he was up. But kept yawning for a long time afterwards..what do you think the yawns mean..I am sleepy or just the sleep hangover?

Anyways today is another day and I am determined not to breakdown and give him the 5 am milk. I just need to sort this once and for all....I',
m almost looking forward to the night now..freak I am

going to flood his bed with pacifiers now and deal with that next ...my to-do list seems to be never decreasing 

[EllenS]

Waking every 2 hrs does not sound like hunger at all, it may well be the paci that is the problem.

For all my happy advice about snacks, etc - my lo has started waking for a night feed again!  At least now it's at 10:30-11pm, which is more civilised than 3-4 am.  Then she goes thru till 6:45am.

I'm going to try adding the PM solid snack, see if that sorts it.

[KellyC]

I have similar thoughts about the paci but I know mums who put lots in the crib for them to find during then night when their babies get older and then it's not a problem.  I hope that works for you (assuming you don't want to get rid of the paci?).

Maybe you could set yourself a time-limit.  If he wakes before 5am no milk but if he wakes after then he can have milk, but make it a dilluted bottle which you'll gradually dillute more and more until it's just water.  As an alternative, would he have a drink of water at 5am?  It might not be enough to settle him completely but if he has a good slug then he won't take as much milk and can have more on waking for the day.  What do you think?

At this age Zander was making lots of use of his Fisher Price Lullaby Aquarium.  Does he have anything similar he can operate himself?  We'd often hear the wave noises going off in the middle of the night because he'd wake and turn it on to help him back to sleep.  My youngest now has it in his cot and turns it on when he wakes   Remember the aim isn't to have a LO who never wakes during the night but one who has ways of going back to sleep which don't involve mummy!!

Kelly x

[Mama2boys]

Hi Ladies desperate for help today...so to make life a little more interesting we seem to have teething thrown in as well. DS barely ate dinner and 1 oz of milk in his night feed...now what do I do about the middle of the night hunger pangs?

As for the pacifier, i aim to get rid of it as soon as the nights etc are sorted out, so hopefully in another couple of months once nights are sorted out and well established we are getting rid of the pacifier..but tonight will be trying...any thoughts on what to do?