I really think Sherry has lots of great advice, and as she says now that you have had that fantastic night last night, he seems to be rested and that can change a lot of things! The morning nap, yes, 45 minutes for now - if you cut too much too soon it can be a nightmare, but if 45 minutes is not enough you can always cut it lower. I don't think that cutting to 30 minutes right now is the answer!
I have gone through my notes from this age and what we were doing is pretty similar to what you are aiming for right now
Wake - 630 (
I still don't know what wake up time you go by? Sorry.)
Nap 1 1000ish for 45 minutes
Nap 2 215/230ish for 1hr30 - 1hr45min
Bed 715ish
I would not discount teething being a huge problem with his NWs and if you can at least get some consistency with his naps and know that he is getting a decent amount of sleep in the day (2 hours ish) and a reasonable bed, reasonable wake - then I would be pretty sure that teeth and SA are playing more of a part in it than you think. One thing to remember with giving him pain meds before bed is that paracetamol takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes to "kick in" so if you are giving it to him right before bed then he's likely not feeling it. I always did it right out of the bath so that there was time for it to start working before he went to bed. And, I kept the bonjela and the calpol on his dresser so that if (when) he woke at night, I didn't have to keep him awake and get him worked up looking for it.
Have just gone to post and see Sherry's next msg -- yes, my DS did the same with loads of teeth. Think I've got a Couch post somewhere 'cause it was just taking sooooooooooooooooo long. I think I noticed them starting at the end of June/early July and it wasn't until the end of flippin' August before they cut. And that was only four. And they were only incisors. The canines that started swelling under his gums at the same time are STILL just sitting there waiting to pop through and his molars are nearing the surface. It took me a long time to realise that it was teeth because nothing was happening.
When you say about set nap times, I disagree that you can't move to them now. With set nap times the idea isn't to stick to a rigid time, but to stay close to a time within reason. I managed to get our morning nap to 930am and have kept it there for many months now, but that does NOT mean that he gets taken to his room when the clock strikes. I keep my eye on him, and the clock, and I judge by both. I always say his nap is at 930 but on days when he is tired he may go down at 920, on days when he's not it may be 940...and set nap times helped me a LOT. DS was unpredictable with his A times and set morning nap took away a lot of that frustration for me. So don't give up hope on that idea YET, but at least give yourself some time with getting things sorted in your head right now first.
Take small victories where you get them -- get a decent morning nap sorted and a consistent wake up time (even if it is too early, at least take a victory in the consistency of it...cause if it is consistent then you can move it ahead over time!) and then you will at least feel lots better about the first half of your day! Once you have those going well for a few days then you can start seeing what activity level/a time is giving you what nap times for his afternoon nap. KWIM?
Another thing I was wondering, is he close to walking yet? Cruising on furniture, and so on? Developmental leaps like that can also play a big deal in sleep - they want to practice rather than sleep, they can wake up standing in their cot and not realise how to get down, etc. And, I found that because DS was making physical advancements, it meant that he needed to have ACTIVE awake time. I chased him up the stairs, around the house, soooo much physical activity - and he would nap well. On days when I didn't, he took shorter naps or fought going down. Even now we take him out for a good hour long walk (with him walking, not in buggy) at EACH of his awake times or he just won't sleep! Anyway, just more things for you to think about and try out!!
PS - ok, just saw your latest post...yes, it seems like a low A time but you have summed it up by saying that it seems to be what he likes best/wants/needs - and that's the key! if it works, don't change it. when it stops working, then change it!