HELP had just about enough of this! 18 mnth old NW, EW, illness for 2-3 mnths

[*Jo*]

Every single flipping night im up about 5 times tending to Caleb. granted hes been teething, granted hes been sick, but now it feels like im never getting out of this. today he was so tired at 4 hours A time, i nearly put him down for a nap, however hed been up since 5.45am so it wouldve been early and with no way of getting a second nap in, i wasnt game. also i did do an earlier nap yesterday and got a stupid 55min nap!
so after being awake at 5.45am (and me patting him until 6.10am) i put him down at 11.20am, he woke at 1 hour and needed patting back to sleep. i patted him for 10 mins, he fell asleep, then i left, he woke up 7 mins later grrrr
then for hte rest of the day he looked exhausted. I ended up putting him to bed at 6pm because he was just so exhausted. that was an A time of 5 hours, i swear he wouldve gone to bed earlier he was so tired.
so here i am again at 8.30pm and hes crying, wanting me to pat him back to sleep.
he has this stupid cough left over from his tonsilitis but that didnt wake him up this time. however now hes crying its working up his cough which could cause him to vomit.
Im wanting to do WI/WO so bad because I want my evenings back, i want my nightsleep back, i dont want anymore EW!!!!
So listening to him right now he goes back and forth between a cry that sounds like hes telling me off for not being there to pat him back to sleep and a real cry and that horrid cough. ive given pain relief.
We have company, we have a church group over right now of about 6 people having to listen to all of this.
Im also not feeling well, i have nausea and a headache. im getting really resentful of Caleb.

so someone tell me, should i do WI/WO or am I just being selfish? Dr said yesterday his throat is back to normal (despite theh cough!) so i dont know, i just dont know!!!!

[kayra]

that sounds really hard Jo, I can totally understand you feeling resentful towards him.
What's stopping you from doing WI/WO? He's actually old enough to not need patting so I'd give it a try. If the dr said his throats ok and you've medicated it does seem that he's protesting out of habit rather than suffering.
xx

[*Jo*]

whats stopping me? i guess i feel awful if hes still sick or in pain and ive denied him the comfort he really wants and needs...

however out of sheer desperation ive basically just done 45mins of WI/WO, with a few times just putting my hand on his back to calm him down. hes gone quiet just now.... im really hopeful.

we are meant to be going out tomorrow and leaving him with a babysitter but i cant leave someone to watch him if i think hes going to wake up so i guess I will be staying home

[kayra]

hope that's done the trick! As i said if the dr's given the all clear I'd trust in that. The fussing must be that he liked the patting and would like to go back to that thank you very much, and also OT. See how nap time goes tomorrow, if it's smooth maybe you could go out in the evening, but I dare say you wouldn't be able to relax if you were out so maybe you should postpone

[*Jo*]

thanks hun, its been half an hour and no sound from him. im really hoping that it has done the trick. we shall see!
Ive just been feeling so lost with all the sickness hes been having, wondering if ive been doing the right thing. i know he knows how to sttn, hes been doing it most of his life, except when ill or teething.
So what does everyone else do when their LO is sick? APOP all the way? i figured patting was the safest APOP for us when sick as its not so hard to get back from, just really annoying

[squeakersmum]

For us everything goes out the window when he's sick.  Patting, holding, being in the room with him - having enough and putting him in our bed (never works - so putting him back again!!).

We had a really REALLY tough sleep month around the time he turned 18 months - major SA again, not going down at all at night, numerous night wakings, EW (still have those), nap refusal...but asking the lovelies on here there are quite a few who have had a bit of a regression around 18 months so maybe the illness has set that off?  In the end I spent many nights sitting outside his door so that he could see my legs and reading a good book until he fell asleep - and that was progression!!  Before that I couldn't even get out of the room before he was asleep for about a week.

It did go though (hoping not to jinx myself here), and we're back to normal apart from the EW and the fact he doesn't like me to close the door anymore.  We have a story I pop him in his cot with his dummy, Heffy, and blanket tell him I love him and leave with the door slightly ajar. 

It came totally out of the blue for us, but I think that canines played a part at the start of the antics.

Hugs - I had a thread about it somewhere, I'll have to have a trawl and paste it for you.

StephXXX

[kayra]

we haven't really had any major sickness but the times we have had NW due to teething or something patting or pain relief have generally worked and I suppose it's generally just sorted itself out afterwards. Though when I've felt that he's ok but just being picklish or OT kicking in, sometimes a gentle but firm 'ok it's time to go to sleep' has worked with a mixture of Wi/Wo. Maybe you could talk to him before you put him down, saying what a big boy he is, that he goes to sleep nicely, no need to cry, M-D are here etc. when it goes on for a bit long you could pick him up and pray with him maybe? I tell DS that even if M-D aren't in the room with him J is etc. Don't know if it helps as such but they are at a stage when they understand more than we think. I've also given DS his water in bed with him sometimes, i know it's winter over there, but somehow I think they like it that we're giving them something, paying attention to them etc.

posted at the same time with Steph.

[*Jo*]

thanks Steph, would like to see that thread

seeing my legs, or any part of me doesnt work, he likes his room pitch black, when i go in his eyes are always closed most of the time. ive also tried water, even when he had tonsilitis he still refused water, actually had to get a syringe of it and squirt it in his mouth cos i knew his throat was hurting him.

Kayra - I did explain to him today that he knows how to have a long sleep without Mummys help. he still doesnt talk so i dont knwo how much he understands of it all, plus i was a bit annoyed cos he had woken early from his nap so it wasnt a "gentle" talk with him, more of a "Now Mummy knows that you know how to stay asleep, you need your sleep, you need to stay asleep when Mummy puts you to bed"
we do prayers before bed which i think helps to settle him (and to be honest, lately its been more of a plea with God than just a prayer! lol) i wonder though, if telling him that Jesus is with him when Mamma is asleep would work? I tell him that Jesus is his best friend who loves him just like Mamma does, so perhaps i need to work on that a bit more too, because i would much rather Jesus be up all night patting Caleb than me!!! LOL

[squeakersmum]

Right here it is!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=173016.msg1953186#msg1953186

[*Jo*]

will read it tomorrow

ok, need more advice, its 10.30pm and hes started up again. does this mean it is related to teething/illness? and i shouldnt do WI/WO? usually all i need to do is one lot of WIWO adn we get back on track..... im feeling a little lost again. DH said he thinks Caleb needs me because hes still got this cough.....

[Tweakster]

Jo I can only offer hugs because Finn has completely forgotten how to sleep on his own.  He refuses to go to sleep before 8 p.m. most nights and we have had NW and EW again (this morning was 4:30 where he woke and could not get himself back to sleep, launched into crying etc.).  DH and I are both just struggling with the whole do we AP or should we take a harder line at 16 mths???

His ears are still filled with fluid and as the ENT put it 'these kids are tough because most adults with that kind of pressure in their ears would be begging for help' - yet there is no indication that his ears have been bothering him.  But maybe it is manifesting with SA and all these crazy wakings.  We had that period from March - June where he was just sick non-stop, and so were Tom and I.  It was really really rough on everyone.  I can completely understand what you are going through.

Tom spoke to daycare today and he goes for his nap without a peep.  So why can't he do that here?  Is it manipulation or just that he needs that comfort for whatever reason?  Until he's 100% better I don't feel like I can truly do any tough training. 

Will read that thread too for some perspective :-)

[ireneee]

Jo, we had this too - felt that sleep was all "sorted" then all of a sudden, NWs and EWs from out of nowhere. But we have narrowed it down to canines here. We have got the canines right on the back of all 4 molars popping out!

A couple of things that I have done recently;
we bought a new cuddly toy that she chose and that goes to bed with her / comforts her when she is tired / whinging.

I gave her a pep talk last night as we were getting ready for bed. It went along the lines of; it's bed time, if you wake up, you have monkey and blankie to keep you company. If you really need mummy, you can call for mummy but it's bed time and mummy will see you tomorrow.

We put a picture of mum and dad in her room so she can look at it when she wants. Obviously not so much help in the night when it's dark!!!

I don't think you are being selfish. I think LOs get used to whatever it is we do when they are illl etc and then they need to remember that they can put themselves to sleep etc. But he sounds like he is still not comfortable. I know DD goes right back to sleeping properly whenever illness etc clears up and then I think, oh what was I worrying about but at the time when you feel like poo, that's another story

About the cough, ped told me that after symptoms clear up, a cough can last for another 5 or so weeks as the mucus etc clears out of the body...

Sorry can't be of more help. Hugs

[*Jo*]

Ok it's now 2.15am and he's been awake since 1.45am!!!!!!!!!!!! This can't just be a "I need you to pat me" thing can it??? This just feels absolutely ridiculous!! I'm ready to scream! I've sent DH in there to pat him because if I do it I'm gonna pat him through the mattress!!!!!
This much protest? Really? He knows how to self settle! As soon as I par him he jut fidgets, he seems really uncomfortable, I've given nurofen to him twice since he went to bed, can't give him any more and it's only been three hours since the last dose!

[Mom to M&M]

Oh Jo, I'm so sorry. It really does sound like discomfort to me and you may just need to ride through it as best you can until he's better. Hope things turn around for you soon. Hugs.

Wendy - what you said about Finn being better for sleeping at daycare? I often found that with DD - I think that often LOs act up at home only - they know they can and that it's a safe place and they seek the comfort there... Big hugs for you as well.

[Tweakster]

Jo I hope things settle for both of us soon!  It's doubly hard when you know your kid can and will sleep and you pride him on his independent sleeping abilities!  To have all the hard work seemingly go out the window is a hard pill to swallow...but alas we know they will get back on track somehow, it's just the survival tactics in between that we need!