Finally dropping the NFs... a hand to hold and some accountability, please?

[Buntybear]

Have a fantastic weekend away!

[newkidontheblock]

Hope you had a great time, Katie!Was DH okay?

[Martini~]

Oh, Hon! So sorry to be here so late. Happy for you!!!;)

[katie80]

Thanks, Marta! And no worries, if I could ever keep up with the BC, you wouldn't have to come find me!

So, it was a rough night for DH on Fri, but he made it through and felt it was good for both of them.  And it was, now DH knows he can do it and that C will settle for him and C is more used to him doing it so he can help. 

The last two nights have been much better, though.  I got home at 1am on Sat and did a DF, because I didn't want to pump. C woke again at around 4:30 and I thought, 'oh no,' but he cried out and then settled himself! I've never heard that happen at that hour, so was pleased.  Last night, he woke at 4:15 and took awhile to settle... not sure how long, because I fell asleep, but he slept til almost 7, so that was good.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement.  Hoping we may get a STTN soon!

[michaeljacknnugg]

YAY!!!  Hope you had a good time away, too!

[cath~]

Sounds like it went really well!

And this is great:

So, it was a rough night for DH on Fri, but he made it through and felt it was good for both of them.  And it was, now DH knows he can do it and that C will settle for him and C is more used to him doing it so he can help. 

FXd you get a STTN soon!

Just wondering if you've noticed a change in his daytime appetite now he's not feeding at night?

[katie80]

Yes, I'm quite proud of DH. Every other time he's tried to do that with the kids, he's ended up bringing them to me (more because he feels helpless rather than giving up). But, this time I wasn't there, and even though it was a bad night it was a success, iyswim.

He does seem more hungry, Cath. Although, I was only really full once, so I don't know how much he was really taking at the end, just likely using it to get back to sleep.

Really bad night again. I was thinking we might be over the hump after DH's bad night on Fri. He was up for awhile between 1 and 3, I'm not even sure for how long because I fell asleep on his floor again. Then, up at 4 something again and was in and out of sleep until 5:30ish when he just got mad... I got him up at 6:15.

Nothing to do but keep going, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed about it.

[kayra]

Aww hugs katie, it's so natural for you to feel disappointed but don't give up, I hope dh can take a turn again soon, you guys will get there eventually, look at the good nights and take heart! Xxxx

[jessmum46]

Keep going hun . It's hard when things seem to go backwards (been there.....) but remember there are plenty of reasons for him to wake, it doesn't just have to be feed-related.  Stick with the settling and if the NWs persist get a post up on TS to see if we can help you tweak them away xxx

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

Just wanted to pop on with more support and ((HUGS)) for sure you are doing the right thing, and I know those regressions are really hard to take but oh soooo worth it when you wake in the morning and you're like this:    "OMG no NW, there must be something wrong aaagh!" Mammy goes running into the nursery and guess what, nothing wrong, just the first STTN!!!! 

Hang in there Sweetie!

x.

[katie80]

Thanks so much, ladies. He was up again from 4:38-5:57 and then slept til 6:30. I was glad he went back to sleep, but it's such a long time to be awake. Hes definitely OT, so that isn't helping, and I can only do bedtime so early on some nights. Feeling sorry for myself today and in tears because nothing I do seems right with this little guy.

I'm afraid I've now created a hand prop. When I settle at night, I go in and lay on the floor and rest my hand on the crib mattress through the bars. I've done this for awhile, even when I still had the feeds and resettled early NWs. It also helps to resettle during naps. This week, when he's had the looong NWs, I've also sometimes ended up rubbing his back. Yesterday and today, he wouldn't settle independently for his nap. Yesterday, I figured he was OT (he'd been up on and off since 4:something), and slept 20min in the car around 9:30. He got quite upset when I put him down again around 1, so I ended up staying with him with my hand in the crib. I'm sure he's still OT today (tried for nap at 12pm), and he cried when I left. I did WIWO for 40min and he didn't go down. I could tell he wanted me to put my hand in the crib. We took a break, so I could feed G lunch and then tried again at 1. It took 40min of WIWO, but he did go down.

So, what do I do now? Remove my hand when I settle at night and only lay on the floor? Can I still resettle naps that way? Should I start a different thread for prop help? Sorry, I'm tired and frustrated.

[jessmum46]

Oh Katie I only have a second now but wrapping you up in such big (((hugs))), I will be back to post as soon as I can xxxx

[Truly Blessed]

Oh I'm sorry things are so rough and you're so down Hun, I can only imagine as a parent of 1 how these difficult times affect you with other LO's to care for too.

From the outside looking in (always the better view) I wouldn't focus on your worry about the 'hand prop' because there's only so much you can do right now IMHO. If he is OT in addition to recently dropping the NF he is going to need the comfort right now, and I would also be giving it. Plus it seems as though it is conducive to getting the most sleep out of him right now. I would however maybe try and just place your hand on his back without moving it (even though I remember this is a killer eventually, arm cramp!) rather than rubbing etc, and hopefully that will be enough.

Is it worth shooting for a really early nap, following his first sleepy cue for a couple of days  Worst thing that can happen is you have to abandon it and try again later.

Thoughts 

((HUGS)) Honey.x.

[kayra]

Hugs katie, I had simillar thing with ds today, he *can* settle himself but sometimes he just wants help and wants me to rub his back, today I fought with him quite a bit to just have my hand and not rub and he just did not like it, in the end I figured him getting to sleep was more important so gave in. I don't know if I did the right thing but with you when you know he's that ot I'd probably just do all I can to help him (apart from nursing which you're trying to stop obviously) with the hope and assumption that when he's in a better place eat-wise he will settle himself.....
Biiiiig hugs! Xxxx

[clazzat]

My experience would say that you should go with what works for the time being, since you can sort out props later when you (and he) are more ready - I had a couple of props going with mine, and when I was in the right place emotionally it was easy to get rid of them.  And in the intervening period we both got sleep and were much happier!

Big (((hugs))), and lots of strength vibes to keep going.  You are doing great, and it will pay off.