looking for Jan/Feb 05 moms to chat...

[Schae]

Jaime: sorry about the allergies. did the doc do an allergies test on Luke?

Branwen: Glad the fall didnt do too much damage. Must've been very scary. Good luck with the solids. For some reason I'm tempted to start Luka tomorrow (he's 20 weeks tomorrow). And I always feel this way after I've gone to visit family who inevitably ask: "Is he on solids yet?"  :roll:

Christine: will definately go and check out the photos.

Luka is also awake for his dreamfeed. In fact, he wakes up for it (which I know isn't a good thing). But we're going to tackle that soon. For now I'm trying to get him to sleep through. Last night we had some success, he slept from 23h00 till 6h20 (although he woke at 2am and I patted him back to sleep)

We've been really good at following EASY for the past few weeks and it's making a huge difference. What's made it easier for me is having dh around. He does nap duty (so there is no way he can BF him to sleep  :lol: )

We're still on the 4 hourly which amazes me.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone else.

[branwen]

Schae- don't push into solids too fast. :wink:   I think I did that with Eirwen and she just wasn't ready but next week is her offical 6 month birthday- 26 weeks! YAY! so I will try again.  I know it's hard not to feel pressure, and it happens to me all the time when my mom or literally strangers :roll:  ask "isn't she rolling over yet, sitting up yet, eating solids yet?"  UGH!  Babies come into things on their own time I've decided.  Don't let them pressure you if you're not ready

Oh, good job on the 4 hrs and PUPD!

Eirwen is sleeping through again still. YAY! But she's being crazy with her feeds- this is what she did today...I'm so confused.

5:30 E
6:00 S (to 9!)
9:30 E
10:45 S (to 12:00)
12:15 E
2:00 S (to 4:00)
4:00 E
6:00 E & Bed

What is she doing?  It's like she can go 4 hrs at some points but not at others.  The 4 & 6 was our usual cluster.  I was trying to cut it out but I think she still really needs that since she took another 6oz bottle from dh tonight at 6 and had a full breastfeed at 4 with me.  Hmm...they are as mysterious as they are beautiful.

Eirwen has decided she LOVES it when I wave plastic bags over my head fluttering it around.  She SQUEALS!    It is the funniest thing ever!  Who needs silly toys when you have plastic bags! :lol:

[sedona314]

HI everyone:

Its getting so hard to keep up with all the posts, but its great!

Deborah, thanks for the naps idea.  Matty was sleeping great when we started EASY but his naps are getting shorter and shorter, Im gonna try it.

Leah is too cute and so are ALL the babies.  Someone please tell me how to post Matty's picture. I tried it and apparently the image was too large so i dont know how to shrink it and post. anyone good with this stuff who can tell me how to do it?

We are still having problems with feeding the little guy.  Branwen, your advice was right about letting him tell us when he is hungry, but he gets soooooooo fussy and cries that we think he's telling us he is hungry (its the same as his hunger cries) and then he only drinks an ounce or drinks none at all and gets more upset when we offer.  He is still being a fussy man about BF too, and will only BF at night and some times once a day now. Its just no fun.

Also, does anyone else have a lo who doesnt like to eat first thing in the morning.  HE feeds in themiddle of the night anywhere from 1:30 to 3:00 but it doesnt matter, he just isnt hungry in the morning, which of course makes it hard to get him on the nap schedule cause he wont sleep well when he is hungry.

He just keeps me guessing!

Last question:  Has anyone stopped swaddling?  I have tried it and he wont sleep, but he is becoming more and more opposed to the swaddle. He is just short of 5.5 months and I feel like we should stop swaddling soon.  Anyone have any advice on how to do this?

Julie

Matthew - Spirited - 1/31/05

[branwen]

Hi Julie!  Good to hear from you!  I will also PM you about instructions on your images 

Yes- I do not swaddle...abandoned it probably too early, but Eirwen was SO fussy in it at about 3 months.  At two months she found her hands early and liked them up out above her head. So we did a body/bottom swaddle and then she got upset at 3 months when she wanted her legs spread out and would make such a display of getting out of the swaddle (it didn't matter how tight we wrapped she'd get out!) that I just decided- my baby likes to sleep all sprawled out :wink: (kind of like her daddy)  She still sleeps like this- arms out/legs out- like a jumping jack mid air!  Anyway, I would suggest leaving 1 arm or both arms out of the swaddle.  If he's kicking off the bottom you could try a sleep sack instead.  It will still keep him warm- maybe keep the "enclosed feeling" but he will be able to move around more?  Also keep in mind his temperament!  He's spirited so it might start to REALLY bug him that he can't move around so much. All the spirited ones I know are REALLY physical babies and hate being confined.

I don't know if I agree with Tracy on keeping the swaddle so long.  :?  It seems to me babies need to wiggle these days, to build muscle for all the crawling they are going to do.  A swaddle just seems so restrictive to all of their new mobility.  I guess maybe that's the idea so they don't move so much at night and wake themselves up or something? Just my thoughts...

About the whole feeding thing. Could those "hungry cries" be overtired ones?  My dd sounds hungry/hysterical when she is overtired. The only thing that is different is she won't accept my breast. You might need to go cold turkey on the feeding at night thing- so he learns to take a full morning feed.  His body and mind need to clue in that daytime is for chowing. :wink: There are ways to do this in the new book.  With the exception of a growth spurt I don't feed at night. It sucked for awhile because she cried so much (I did PUPD) but it worked for Eirwen...and now our morning feed is our longest feed.

Hang in there!

[thitz]

Hi Julie, we started having swaddle problems a couple weeks ago.  I kept having to go into Emily's room about every 2 hrs at night to reswaddle her.  She kept waking up and crying because her legs/feet were cold.  (I was swaddling her in a diaper shirt because it was so hot.)

So now I dress her in full pj's if it not too hot and use a cheese cloth swaddle from under her arms and down.  This way if she wriggles out her legs don't get cold.  Also I was swaddling with one arm out from about 3 months cause she started sucking her thumb but since she has better hand control now and I always find her with both arms out when it time to wake up, I've started leaving both hands out.

I've also found that she likes a loose bit of swaddle to grab with her hand and pull up to her face.

Hope that helps.  Tarri

[Jaime]

julie - i think some babies need to stay swaddled longer than others, but i think they are rather clear about it when they want to stop - like what branwen & tarri said about their lo.  you might want to just try leaving his arms out & see what happens.  my kids never wanted their arms contained, so i never did.  jaina kinda naturally grew out of wanting it around 6 months; i just wrapped her looser & looser until she didn't care anymore.  luke's showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.  he really likes his legs wrapped. 

schae - i'll echo branwen on this too (gee, did i need to post - branwen has said so much good stuff already!) - be careful about starting too soon.  6 months is plenty old enough to start.   the one thing you especially need to look for is his tongue - does he still have that reflex where he pushes stuff out?  if he does then don't stress starting.

branwen - i have been doing a sort of pseudo-cluster with luke.  he's been was eating at 8,12,4,7, and 8:30/9.  (he seems to be changing again though) i'd keep feeding her as long as she seemed hungry; looks like she's doing great. 

christine - i was thinking more about what you said about the 3 hr - another idea is that she will eat more if she eats fewer times.  (like spread out 30 oz in 5 feeds instead of 6) but as long as her naps aren't bothering you i'd say it was your call...

we have not had allergies tests done on luke yet; seems to be environmental stuff that bugs him.  both my kids have amazingly sensitive skin (got that from dh) and i think he's just a bit more sensitive) he has his 6-month checkup in a couple weeks, so i'll revisit all that stuff with the dr again.  he does have another ear infection, though, so i am a bit concerned - that's 2!  i didn't even know he had it though, so i don't think it's as bad this time...

[Deb_in_oz]

Hi all - we are having a terrible time here and i am getting crazy again!!

olivia is feeding and napping terribly again and everything is a struggle.  we were doing so well in the days between my mom leaving and sister arriving and then it all went yuck again - not sure if she is just so sensitive to the changes in the house.  now my in laws have arrived for 12 days and the house is crazy - too many people for the space and my sister is in sleeping with me and jeff in with Alex while ILs have spare room  :roll:   they are already overstimulating olivia and driving me into a nervous wreck state!!

how the hell do i survive all this chaos???

[dkjokisch]

Deb - I can relate.  Before we left for our trip, my MIL came for a week.  Her idea of playing with Maya is to shake toys in her face.  Whe Maya fusses, she interprets it as boredom and grabs another toy.  Maya is way more fascinated with peoples hands and faces than toys, and I've tried to tell her that, but to no avail.  When I put Maya in her crib for some downtime, she's in there within minutes.  MIL shakes a toy in her face until she cries then picks her up because she was crying.  And she second-guesses our parenting ALL the time.  My advice - take Olivia to a quiet room for all her feedings.  Just say she gets too distracted with so many people around.  Make it quiet time for both you and her  - use the time to mentally recharge.

Jaime - Some kids are just prone to ear infections.  One thing to check, though - Maya used to get milk in her sinuses when eating because I didn't have her head propped up enough.  According to our ped, this can lead to ear infections.  The rule of thumb is to keep their head above their hips.

On the swaddling - We stopped at two months.  She was kicking out of it every night anyway.  She likes to sleep all sprawled out.  She sleeps in just a sleeper for now, but when it gets cold again, we're going to try one of those sleep sacks.

Some good news - I think Maya's six-month growth spurt is almost over.  She slept through until 7:00am last night for the first night in a week!  Yea! Sleep for mom!

[Leah's Mom]

Deborah - We have the halo sleep sack just for future reference. We like it alot.

Deb - I can relate too. MIL came by the house tonight at 8:00 and was asking if Leah was awake. I wanted to say duh, how many times do I have to tell you she goes to sleep at 7:00?!?!?! Then she wanted to go in to her room just to look, I wouldn't let her. Cruel, I know!  :twisted: But I am sick of my in-laws thinking Leah can and should stay awake late. We went boating with them this weekend and DH told them at 6:30 that we needed to head home to put Leah to bed. FIL looked at her and said: she doesn't look tired. Why do you always try to put her to bed when she's not tired? You would think they never had kids!?!?! Some days it jsut seems easier to stay at home and go on with the pleasure of our lives with no interupptions from people who think they know all! There's my vent for the day! I'm sure others can relate!

[Deb_in_oz]

Thanks a lot ladies.

i relate about the not knowing when bedtime is... as the ILs always call from England during bath/bed routine or later and ask to speak/see alex on the video link.  we say "it's 7/8pm here !!!!" and they take care of my nephew in england a lot so know the deal (he is 3 months older so on a similar pattern)

my big stress with them is that they are so high-maintenance.  between their 50 cups of tea and coffee and such it drives me batty. i told Dh (and he agreed) he has to tell them to get their own bkfst/lunch/teas and i am too busy to cater for 5 adults and 2 children. now if i can get them to load the dishwasher and do their own laundry  :roll:   My family seem to dive in and help out more.  Also, they are here for a visit to see the kids and tend to just sit around drinking their tea unless we push them to "do" things with them.

on another note, the big issue with olivia is still her feeding problems.  i am waiting to speak to a speech pathologist today but want her evaluated for dysphagia (see colic board for info) as it seems to fit all her problems.  in the meantime i bought thickened formula for reflux babies and it has been 24 hours and we finally had our first good feed in almost a week! it makes me think this is a definite possibility as she has been so stressed out by the bottle and screams and cries when she sees it.  she needs to learn to trust us again and learn that the food won't cause her pain... (assuming we are on the right track).  wish us luck - the stress is really starting to eat away at me and Dh has had to reassure me so much lately.  i am also going away with Olivia for 5 days to a residential facility on the 25th.  it is a public service in Australia (Tressilian) where you have nurses, peds, psychiatrist, etc on hand to watch and support you and get you on a routine, etc.  i am not sure how i will balance their views with BW, but will take what help i can get as these places are very hard to get into (have had this booked since she was 8 weeks old as this is how booked they are).

[Schae]

hi all!
wow, the posts really rack up if you've been gone a couple of days! 

It looks like we're on our way to sleeping through. For the past 2 nights, Luka has slept from his dreamfeed (11pm) till 6 or 7am. Now to just get him to drop the dreamfeed.

Deb: I hope the doctors can work out what has been bothering Olivia. Poor bubs. At least now you'll have a solution to work with and she'll eat better.

We also stopped swaddling, but that was because Luka sleeps on his tummy.

[Leah's Mom]

Deb - I have read about the dysphagia thing too. Everything you have described sounds just like it. Let us know the results. Good luck with the clinic/class thing. I hope it is wortwhile for you! I wish there were something like that around here!

[branwen]

Deb- I hope the clinic will help you!  Maybe even you will get a rest too!  Please tell us all about it! 

Schae- congrats on sleeping through! 

About the inlaws- mine won't even visit- she doesn't like girls much. She kept trying to convince us it was a boy, even after our ultrasound. hmmm...maybe I should feel lucky she isn't here considering but it does hurt my feelings that she won't come to see the baby.  Either way I've decided IL's suck. :evil:

Eirwen and I did straight 3 1/2 hrs today!  I think we're on our way back to 4! YAY!  Having bedtime/bath trouble- some of you may have seen my posts.  Since the end of the cat nap I am just at a loss as when to do what without getting her overtired...lately her bedtime has been heading towards 5:30 :shock: .  I suppose it is okay if she does 5:30 to 5:30 since that matches my dh's wake up time.  I just wish she didn't cry so much after the bath.  I want bedtime to be happiness and right now it is  :cry: for everyone.  What to do?

She loves her cereal!  I've been giving her oatmeal (much less gas than with rice) and she really likes it.  She smiles and swallows.  SO CUTE! Tonight at a restaurant I was holding her and eating a fry and she opened her mouth as if I was going to feed it to her!  It was crazy cute!  It was like all of the sudden she's ready!  I guess they do just tell you!

[Deb_in_oz]

SORRY FOR SUPER LONG POST BUT Dh took ILs and DD1 and my sister out for the morning and this is the longest i have been alone in ages and dd2 is asleep!!!

Deb- I hope the clinic will help you!  Maybe even you will get a rest too!  Please tell us all about it! 

I was thinking of not going and the child health nurse said she thinks i can really benefit and at the mimimum i have 4 1/2 days where i only focus on me and Olivia. I am a little worried about their methods though and if they will think i am crazy with BW.  for example, i think they watch the babies for you overnight - what do i do if they want to give her a bottle if she wakes even if i know she is not hungry (ie - she is a noisy night sleeper anyway and often resettles herself. ) if i ask to have her in with me that will be hard too b/c it's not like i get a suite of rooms, so she would disturb me all night and then i would not get the rest i need!!

i am trying not to feel guilty leaving alex for 5 days!!! but my heart races when i think about it as she is so close with me and spends a lot of time cuddling and playing with me.  at least she has really taken to my sister who will look after her here at our house. oh the guilt!!

About the inlaws- mine won't even visit- she doesn't like girls much. She kept trying to convince us it was a boy, even after our ultrasound.  :evil: !

i can relate - my MIL had 3 boys under 5!  when i was PG with Alex i said i was hoping for a girl (i am 1 of 2 and do not know anything baout little boys  :lol: )  she kept saying to me "no you want boys!  they are easier and so lovely!" and i would just keep replying "no, actually i want a little girl" to which MIL said "we just don't make girls" (my 2 are the first in 3 or 4 generations in his family  :lol:

my ILs are here for 2 weeks and apart from MIL hanging out some washing, they spend a lot of timing sitting on the sofa... or looking left out - they are not "dive in" kind of people and I have to always worry about their feelings, make sure they are taken care of, watch what i say, etc URG!  they are nice people though and they love us dearly, but they are very hard to be around 24/7!  FIL is one of those people who like to talk about nothing - my sister joked to me last night "your FIL knows a lot of crap about crap!" after he told her about every bird in England... you get the idea!

glad to hear the solids are going well.  sorry about the evenings though - will have to look for your post and see if i can offer any suggestions.  we are still struggling, but i think Olivia really wants to be on 4 hr easy and i just have to find a way to get there.  she is feeding well when i am able to wait closer to 3 1/2 hrs but when she does the crappy 45 min naps there is no way she can stay awake that long!!!!!!   

We had a terrible night last night (power blew out at 3AM which shut off her white noise suddenly and woke her up and the rest of the night was awake time with a couple of 45 min "naps") but i just had our best feed EVER (she took 220ml in 1 session, no top ups...) The problem is it was at the end of a cycle because her first nap was less than an hour and she was then up for an hour before i began the feed, etc.  she was only "up" for 15 min afetr feed (then she pooped in bed before nap so by the time i changed her again.,.. she had 2 hrs awake time so we'll see if she does a big sleep now)

tomorrow is alex's 2nd birthday party so wish me luck coping with the preperations and guests while taking care of Liv!!! shoudl be stresful but fun!

[branwen]

Hi there!

Deb- got your replies to my other questions! Thanks!  We are still experimenting. Ugh.  The clinic sounds both good and bad then.  It could totally undermine everything you've worked for or give you exactly what you need?  It is hard to tell, and you sound unsure, I would lean on the cautious side then...are you still going to go?  Can you call beforehand and try to find out their philosophy?  What were the results with the speech pathologist?

Oh, try not to feel guilty, you are still a new mom , even if you've been one before, and with PPD you need to take care of yourself.  If you get you and Olivia on track you'll be that much better for your other dd!  I hope the party was fun! 

Question about solids- it is taking a very long time to feed Eirwen.  I give them to her after I breastfeed but it takes like 30 min to feed the oatmeal to her?  Is this too long?  It is coming up very close to her nap...and then it makes it so she isn't hungry for her next feed.  For example- she wakes at 9:30, I bf at 10, solids at 10:15 but then she needs to go for a nap at 11 (still no 2 hrs awake).  So...is this normal.  Do solids just become the A for awhile at first?  Am I doing this right? :lol:  :?  :lol:  :?