looking for Jan/Feb 05 moms to chat...

[HeatherC]

I just noticed that not only do we have 2 Heathers, but we also have a Debra and a Deborah.  I'll try to keep them straight.

Heather #2  Do you feed from both sides?  I know that Tracy recommends single-side feeding, but it might help her to get more in and possibly not wake at night.  :?:  Also, for you and Debra, to get baby to focus while eating, you could try laying a colorful piece of fabric over your shoulder to get their focus.  I've done this with Kelsey and it helps.  Sometimes, you just have to stop and start again until they are really ready to eat.  I know it makes feeding time last forever, but I don't know what else you could do.  I attributed Kelsey's pulling off and on my breast to reflux, and it probably mostly was, but it could have also been distraction, gas, or disinterest.  Either way, her lack of good feeding made me lose my supply, and now she's almost completely ff with bf in the morning and at night.  However, she's starting to drop the morning bf  .

Deborah I think that if 5 feeds at 3 hours is working for you, then you should keep with it.  4 hourly is just a recommendation, and you have to do what is best for your LO.  I understand the low weight concerns.  Kelsey is probably just around 12 pounds at 4.5 months.  Every check up the doctor told me to supplement bf with formula, and I did until now that she is taking mostly formula all together.  And, yes, Kelsey also tries to stick her thumb in while also either bf or bottle feeding.  It's a hassle, but it's also cute. 

Now, my turn. Ha Ha.  Kelsey is taking her feedings just fine at 4 hours, giving her just 4 feeds per day.  Her naps are still short, except a few times she has fallen asleep while taking the bottle and sleeps a long time (1.5-2 hours).  I know that this is not a good habit for her to develop, but I also understand that she is tired and I want her to sleep.  What are your opinions about this?  I'm not going to have an EASY routine until I can readjust to this 4 hour schedule, but I don't know how to adjust.  As it is now, she normally gets tired at 2 hours, has a 30 minute nap, then has 1.5 or more hours until next feeding.  Should I just go with the flow?

[Jaime]

i almost feel i should be taking notes...  :lol:

Heather #1 - i've been using pat/shhh to extend ds naps since practically week 1.  sometimes it worked; sometimes it didn't.  i did notice that i began having success in the afternoon nap much sooner - probably cause dd was taking her nap then!  he didn't extend the morning nap until this past month.  all i can say is, be persistant.  the light in their head will finally turn on; if i have to go in there now, it's not for very long cause he's learned it.  also make sure they are up long enough, without being overtired.  at this age, they really should be able to get closer to 2 hours before that first nap.  yes, EASY will be a little wacky until you completely transition her... but i'd be real careful about that feeding before sleep.  what you want to make sure is that she doesn't associate eating with sleeping.  if you can get a diaper change or something in there, that should help. 

Heather #2 - how much daytime sleep is your lo getting?  it could attribute to how late she goes down at night.  that stinks about the citrus - dd was the same way.  if she does need a slight nap late in the afternoon, you might want to try making it a short one - like 45 min or less.

Deborah - i agree with heather #1 - if you are okay on 3-hr feedings, i'd stick with it.  are you bf?  (don't remember) if you are, that can be fairly normal; you just want to be careful not to associate feeding with sleeping.  your EASY schedule will just look a little different, since your lo is heading towards 2-3 naps/day now too.  heck, as long as she sleeps all night, right? 

Debra - luke is one of those goofy eaters too.  i've found that i can't hold him to eat (at first i was pumping simultaneously, so he got used to it)  i balance him in the boppy pillow.  if he starts to play, i take the bottle out.  he usually cries when he notices it's gone & gets more serious cause he knows he's hungry.  don't know if that will help or not....

[Heather_Samantha's Mummy]

Heather #1 - I do feed from both sides, however, she tends to favour my right side so I have lost some of my milk supply on the left. In your opinion, does 15 mins seem like too short of a feed?

Jaime - Samantha has been getting 4 to 4.5 hours of sleep per day. She has been taking longer late afternoon naps which I think is why she is going down so late. I'm going to cut her nap short today and see if that helps

Heather#2

[HeatherC]

Jaime-I do take notes before I respond.  We've got such a large group. 

Heather #2-I don't know about the time issue.  I always fed Kelsey from both sides, and she usually took 20 minutes on each side.  However, I think this is unusually slow.  My cousin bf and her dc usually only fed for 10-15 minutes.  Sorry I can't really help, I was just trying to brainstorm.

[Leah's Mom]

WOW!!!! I haven't been on in awhile and it took me a long time to catch  up. We're battling a virus on the computer. I have been spending all of Leah's naptimes trying to get it off. I finally got frustrated and decided to check back in here!

Welcome Jamie! I also have to feed my LO not in my arms.  It's kind of sad not to be able to cuddle, but she feeds so much better if I put her in the boucy chair or her car seat. Then she can stare at my face or something. Glad to hear that you have to do that also. I was starting to feel like a bad mom, not holding my baby!

I will try to respond to problems when I get the change. This dumb virus makes pop-ups windows come up all the time and then I have to close them to get back to typing. This message alone has taken me forever to type!

We have not been having good nights the past two nights. Leah has gotten up somewhere between 3-4 and she is WIDE awake. She will NOT settle down for almost 2 hours.    We have no idea what is going on. The funny thing is she isn't crying, just slamming down her legs on the crib mattress and playing with her toes. After about  45 minutes she gets mad and yells for someone. Her daytime sleep shoulnd't be an issue since she only takes 30 -45 mintue naps. I'm starting to think the nap thing must be me though becuase before I was off for summer vacation, the sitter had her taking awesome 2 hour naps. Maybe I ought to drop her back off to the sitter so she can "fix" her for me!  :wink:

[Leah's Mom]

Hmmm... Am I going to have to go back to swaddling? I swaddled Leah's arms for her AM nap today for the first time in about a month. I went in at the 30 mintue mark and saw her eyes open and then shut, now she has been sleeping for almost an hour! I hate to regress by starting to swaddle again, but if her arms are free she rubs her eyes at the 30 mintue mark and her paci falls out (I know BAD habit) and then she wakes up. ANyone else still swaddle? What do you use? I LOVE the miracle blanket, but it is too small for her now.

[Heather_Samantha's Mummy]

Hi Christine,
We are having the same issue. I have continued to swaddle her because she knocks her paci out if we don't. I am still using the miracle blanket dispite the fact it is too small. I often leave her legs free so that they don't pull it down past her shoulders. I have had some luck extending her morning nap to 1.5 hours. I have been going in at the 30 min mark and putting both hands on her and shushing and that has managed to extend it. I am a bit concerned because she started rolling from her back to stomach the other day and she did do it in her crib while wrapped but she started fussing right away which was good. I think we need to get rid of the wrap asap because she is doing this now.
You must be pleased to get off of work now. When did you have to go back after Leah was born? Here in Canada we get a year paid maternity leave so I don't even have to think about it until mid-January of 2006.
Heather #2

[Leah's Mom]

Heather #2 - A year paid!?!?! That's awesome! I had  eight weeks paid leave, and was back teaching for the last eight weeks of school and am now off until the end of August. I have also swaddled Leah in the miracle blanket with just her arms in, but somehow she wiggles down and the blanket then goes over her head.  :shock: So I have to think of a different alternative.....

Have you had any more luck with night wakings? If it helps, when you get up at night you can think of me, becusae I am also probobly up!   

[Deb_in_oz]

CHristine - we still swaddle for every nap and sleep.  our girls must be communicating somehow b/c i was going to come on and post today b/c olivia has been up the last 2 nights waking around 4-4:45am and both times has been as you described.  yesterday (fri morning) i made the mistake of thinking it was hunger and trying to feed her - got so upset and screamed etc and it took us until 6am to settle her. so whenit happened this morning at 4:20am i sat back and listened more, she settled to quiet noises in minutes so i relaxed assuming she would fall asleep.  i woke suddenly at 5 and realiused she was still up, this went on until almost 6am with me worrying wether to go in or no - she never once cried, just "chat" and sucking and noises.  sent Dh in to try to settle, ended up giving bottle and she took 85ml.

not sure what to do if oit happens tonight - it is almost 8:30 and i am letting her sleep late b/c she missed out on almost 2 hours sleep!!!  this is all on top of her barely eating or sleeping yesterday - her food intake for 5 bottles was closer to 2-3 feeds (2 feeds were 60 and 80ml!)

[HeatherC]

Don't have much time, but Christine, do what you have to.  Maybe a little more time being swaddled will help her until she can settle on her own.  But what do I know?  I'm having no luck extending Kelsey's naps.  :cry:

[sedona314]

HI everyone:

I've been trying to catch up on all the posts.

I stopped co-sleeping and Im sleeping on the futon in Matty's room since if you all recall he was sleeping so much better the nights we had a sitter stay over.  Well, I've spent three nights in there and he's had me up and down in his room too!  He will cry and I will go over to him pick him up, pat him to burp him and put him right back in with the paci and he goes right back down.  this happens about three times a night plus one feeding (where he is really hungry).  If I dont go to him, he wont resettle.  but he goes right back to sleep and usually doesnt even open his eyes after I pat him.  My husband spent one night in there with him (finally! he wont do the overnight thing!) and he only woke to feed and one other time! Maybe its me?

Christine I will be thinking of you when I am up tonight!!!! Last night I got three hours and I was in such a funk all day.  Also, we are still using the miracle blanket and Matthew is almost 18 lbs and long!!! So I dont get why  Olivia's doesnt fit anymore since I'm sure she isnt bigger than Matty? Is it the same miracle blanket? the one that you secure his arms in and then wrap it around them a few times?

Debra:  ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO regarding Matthew rejecting the bottle.  I am breast and formula feeding and about a month ago, he decided to be really really fussy about the bottle (he never had a problem before).  Now that his nursing strike (breastfeeding) is over, he is fussier than ever and often simply wont take the bottle even though he is starving.  what ends up happening is he gets upset and rejects it completely, stays really crabby and fussy and then we try again every 20 minutes or more and suddenly he just downs it like he's starving.  Another thing I do is I breast feed him and if I dont have enough milk (which is often) I will slip the bottle in right after I pull my breast out of his mouth.  That usually works but not always, and my sitter certainly cant do that when Im at work!!!  I just cant figure out why he wont eat when he is so hungry.

Sheesh, just when I think I have things figured out, I find out I havent a clue.

Keep posting everyone, you all really help me feel better about things. 

Julie

[sedona314]

OH yes, I forgot to mention that Matty is a reflux baby and I think that may be why he wakes so often.  I've heard that reflux babies will do that.

Julie

[Leah's Mom]

Deb - TOO WEIRD!!!!!!! If I remember right this is what happened last night. I woke at 3:50 to this sound of slamming feet. Went into her room. She was at the opposite end of the crib and was picking up her feet and slamming them down. She somehow managed to use her feet to turn off the sound machine. I bet that surprised her!  I coulnd't decide what to do, I didn't want her to get too upset so I changed her diaper and  tried to feed - only took a little. I rocked to settle her back down - eyes WIDE open! She was not going back to sleep. I got her calmed down and laid her in the crib. She was WIDE awake, this was like 4:30. I went to bed. Went back in at 5:00 - still awake. At 5:30 she started to get fussy. I went in and picked her up. She got really mad, so I fed her and she took a full bottle and went back to sleep at 5:45 till 7:30 - normal wake up time is 6:30, but I said screw the schedule this morning, I was tired too! So she was up from 3:50 till 5:45! We'll see how tonight goes. It's 8:15 pm here right now and she sleeping for the night. I will let you know tomorrow how things went. I still think this WEIRD they are both doing this!

On a positive note we had AWESOME naps today. 1 1/2 hours this morning and almost 2 1/2 this afternoon. Was it swaddling or just pure exhaustion from last night? We'll see!

Julie - Leah is too long to put her legs in the pouch, the top sits way below her shoulders then. So do you put Matty's legs in or just wrap his arms up?

[Deb_in_oz]

 he is fussier than ever and often simply wont take the bottle even though he is starving.  what ends up happening is he gets upset and rejects it completely, stays really crabby and fussy and then we try again every 20 minutes or more and suddenly he just downs it like he's starving. 

Julie - this is exactly our situation.  we offer food every 20-30 min and up until last wek she consistently ate it in 3 "lots" now we are struggling to get food in at all.  not sure if it is her cold or reflux or bottle anxiety (she gets agitated as soon as we bring it near her!!).  she definitelky feeds better at night, when drowsy / end of awake time, etc which made me think of reflux again (asked ped about it when she was 7 weeks and he said "it is too early we can't diagnose that until after 3 mo b/c most babies under 3 mo show signs of it without it being actual reflux, just digestive system settling down" etc so we let it go and forgot to ask again)

a couple of times i felt bad b/c she seems to want the breast again and that is not possible now.

Sheesh, just when I think I have things figured out, I find out I havent a clue.

this is also the story of our life since olivia was born.

[Jaime]

Heather #2 - your amount of daytime sleep doesn't sound too bad... you may just want to move that late nap earlier instead of having it be from 4-6.  having such a good nap that late in the afternoon makes it hard to go to bed early.  as for the feeding times, i'd pay more attention to how you feel after 20 minutes.  that really doesn't seem tooo long - does your breast feel empty at that point?  what you mainly want to avoid is switching sides just cause a predetermined amount of time has passed, casue then your baby won't get the hindmilk.  (btw, a YEAR paid leave?!!!  i am so jealous.  i got 6 mths unpaid this time, but that's just cause i teach & there was summer vacation involved!)

Debra - not sure if this may apply.. luke sometimes fidgets while eating cause he has gas.  he'll wiggle & play with the bottle till he farts.  also, have you maybe tried different bottles/nipples? 

Christine - about the swaddling.... i have joined the my-baby-is-too-big-for-the-blanket-club.  this past week, he started getting out of it by 5am.  so for 3 hours, i could hear his feet thumping all over the place.  he would chatter, sleep restlessly, but never really cried so i didn't worry too much.  but i noticed he was getting crankier & crankier during the day, so it wasn't good. 

last night, i tried the twin size bedsheet folded in half.  it's huge - takes up the crib - but it seems to have worked.  i have only ever swaddled him from the waist down (long story), but this seemed to contain him.  he stayed wrapped till sometime in the 7 o'clock hour - and has been much more his normal chipper self this morning.  hopefully this does it....