looking for Jan/Feb 05 moms to chat...

[branwen]

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Hi everyone, I've been reading the pages on this board for past few days...had problems registering, finally gave up and got a new email.

Anyway, my beautiful daughter is touchy/textbook with a bit of grumpy thrown in just for fun.  We've been doing EASY for about 2 weeks.  Was on a 1 to 1.5 breastfed routine and I was about ready to throw in the towel, and switch to bottles.  I thought I was going to die!  No one ever said the drawbacks of on demand. We've also struggled with overactive letdown, reflux and constipation...thankfully most of those have lessened with introducing EASY.

Before EASY she wouldn't sleep at all.  She is crazy sensitive to emotions and sounds.  Even my husband sneezing would send her wailing.  Before EASY we lived tip-toeing around our house whispering, but even then whispers are sometimes high pitched.  Hates tummy time and in general other people besides me :wink: and of course daddy.  Has this big pouty lip which is so cute it is hard not to smile and laugh at her grumpiness.

Anyway, confused about the 4 hour schedule transition and in general confused on awake time.  My daughter just can't do 2 hours, sometimes even an hr is the most she can do, especially in the morning and if I don't go by her cues she takes over 40 min with PUPD to get to sleep...eventually she gives up and goes down and then I go cry :cry: too.

Also confused...lately her feeds have gone from 30 min to 15 at the most, sometimes only 10.  I worry she is eating enough?

Would love to be part of the thread!  I have really enjoyed reading your posts...it is nice to know I'm not struggling alone with my touchy baby girl.

[Deb_in_oz]

hi - it sounds like you two are doing well.  we have been up and down...
worst day followed by good day then when she skipped that catnap we had our worst evening in many weeks due to overtiredness (could not feed well, fell asleep, woke realizing hungry, cried on and off for hours until finally fell asleep again around 10:30pm - THEN SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT  until after 7am!!). 

yesterday we had to do everything out of the house thanks to our visit to the embassy for her citizenship and passport.  she did great!!    we put her down for 1st nap in her capsule so we could transfer her to car - slept for about 1 hr or so, had to wait for next feed until access to embassy and in meantime had her first bus ride, took her passport photos, etc took her bottle in noisy environment (huge relief even if not a full feed).  then she had to wait to meet the consul and us answer questions, swear the truth, etc and miraculously after beingn up 2 hrs she fell asleep in pouch for an hour and had a feed at Dhs office, fell asleep in car just before home and stayed in capsule in her room and slept 2 HOURS!!!

it can be done if you need to do something so don't fear it like i did.  Dh told me WE needed to be relaxed (easy for a laid back guy to say) and it worked. of course she would not do catnap again and we had problems in the evening - anyone having issues with the catnap??  will post on nap board later.

i am off for a 1/2 day out without kids today - mom and i are going to my old neighborhood to shop and have lunch by the beach... she misses it too.  i will try to trust that Dh can handle the 2 kids himself since i have to do it 5 days a week  :wink:

[HeatherC]

Kelsey usually has trouble with the evening nap (I'd say catnap, but all her's are catnaps  :cry: ).  Lately, however, her schedule has changed and she's taking it like a usuall.  Life sure is a bear when they get overtired and you just can't do a thing with them.
Welcome, branwen.  Have you had any better luck with LO's sensitivity to noise?  I used to think Kelsey, also a touchy one, would wake up at the drop of a pin, but even the dog barking in the house hasn't woken her.  Her only problem with naps, other than them being short, is if I really missed the mark and she gets overtired, I can pretty much count on her being miserable when she wakes up and sleeping through her feeding, especially if it's bf.
We're doing cereal 2 x a day now, and I offer formula as a supplement after one bf, and then as her feed for another.  I'm slowly working on replacing bf for formula one feeding at a time to let my body catch up, or actually slow down :? .  I just don't like bf, and I'm a much happier mother when I bottle-feed her, and she's more content with more in her belly.
So, ladies, how many feedings are you lo's taking now?  Kelsey's down to 5, which worried me at first, but she's still sleeping through the night.  She's been taking her last feeding btw 8-8:30 pm, and sleeping till 8 am.  That's the past 2 nights, anyway.  She was also taking an 1 hr, 45 min nap in the morning  , but didn't do that today  .

[Deb_in_oz]

Hi Branwen and welcome (did not see your post before). another touchy one?  at least we can actually help each other.

don't worry that your lo is not able to do 4 hrs yet.  they each get there on their own timetable with some help from us. 

olivia also gets overstim easily and her awake time stll can't get beyond 1 hour but her naps have been gradually improving so i am hoping that when she gets consistent daytime rest she will be able to stay awake happily for longer.  if ii push it she gets o'tired and then nap is hard to do.  i choose to preempt (put own, windown earlier rather than later) rather than push her to stretch to longer schedule.  You know her so go with her cues (and bless er for having clear enough ones that you CAN follow)

don't worry that feeds are shorter as long as still gainin g weight, sleeping and healthy.  they become more efficient eaters and get the same milk in less time.

as we are still doing 3 hourly feeds olivia has 6 including DF.

[branwen]

Hi everyone,

We do 5 feeds now, although I'm concerned she is trying to consolidate our evening cluster feed into one.  Since we started easy late she has never had a dream feed so I am really not wanting to give that cluster feed up and go to 4 feeds.  Since we started EASY we sort of have a 4 hour schedule and work down...

6
10
1
4:30
6:30 or 7

She usually sleeps through the night sometimes has woken at 4 but usually resettles if not I usually feed her and put her back right away.

Morning nap is great!  Afternoons suck...spend a lot of time doing PUPD and we only managed 2 cat naps...she went to bed early tonight :-(

Husband and I going out for the first time together alone tomorrow night since her birth!  I'm so excited and nervous  :lol:

I hope she sleeps through!!

[Leah's Mom]

Welcome Branwen! Have you ever tried using white noise to help your touchy little one? We use a white noise machine for Leah and we can do anything and she usually doesn't wake up. I have always slept better with a fan on, so we though maybe DD would also.

Deb - I have had trouble with the late afternoon catnap, so I have made this our walking time. Leah will sleep a good half hour-forty-five minutes in the stroller and then I get exersize in. In Tracy's book it says it's OK to do one nap somewhere else.

Heather- We are still at 6 bottles per day, with hopes to transistion to a four hour routine this coming week. I was just waiting for teaching to be done, so I could work on it this summer. Today was my last day of school!!! Yah! Three months off!!!!

We seemed to have had a paci addiction problem.... Leah was waking at 2:30 looking for it, then every hour after :shock: So last night I gave Leah the paci to calm down with and then basically made her fall asleep without it and she slept straight until 5:15 am!!!! We'll see how tonight goes. Anyone having problems with early wakings? Leah seems to think 5 or 5:30 is a good start to the day, unfortunaltey I don't agree! With summer vacation now, I would like to get to sleep in a little!!!

[Leah's Mom]

Happy 4 month birthday tomorrow Kelsey!!! Hard to believe how fast the time flies!!!!

[Deb_in_oz]

Christine - glad tpo hear you are working on the paci addiction - neither of my girls would take it.  all i can say about the early wakings is - treat it like a night feed/waking if you can until she stops wking at that time.  i learned this the hard way - with alex anytime after 6:00 on the dot and i figuired ok start the day, this time since alex now sleeps (or plays) in until closer to 7 or later i am refusing to start earlier than 6:45.

if olivia wakes at 6 i feed her and put back to bed to sleep and wake her at 7:30.  my hope is that as she starts sleeping lonegr at night she will know it is still night if she stirs around 5:30/6am

our big problem is this damned 4th nap!!! 3 days now and we have had to deal with her being overtired for last feed/bath etc...i would love to go for a walk but 1) it is winter here and dark now from 5/5:30 and 2) so would have 2 girls out in the dark and cold on suburban streets.  maybe i'll try it anyway.... any other suggestions??? i think i'd try almost anything.

got to go get alex in the bath... oh the FUN

[Lizzie]

Welcome Branwen!

I'm going to try the transition to 4 hr EASY starting on Monday. Tracy's new book has a detailed way to do this in 15 min increments so that they gradually adjust to longer awake times & don't get too overtired! At the moment my DS can only stay up about an hr too before he cries to be put down for bed!!

Not too sure about the eating Q as Alex has been on bottle since 6 wks old. It could be that your daughter is just an efficient eater. I guess if she's lasting 3 hrs or so between feeds she must be getting enough??

Deb - Hope you had a nice day out with your mum. As much as I love all the time I spend with DS it is good to have a little break every now then!

Heather - We are still on 6 feeds a day (3 hrs)  inc DF though more often than not he will refuse at least one of them - I wonder if its his way of telling me he's ready to drop one..??
He has only slept through the night once 8pm - 7am and generally wakes at 5ish but can usually send him back to sleep til 7. He is also starting to break free of his swaddle as twice last night he woke to his flailing arms & legs!

Christine - I too was worried about a possible paci addiction & attempted to wean him off it by going cold turkey & doing PU/PD but this was way harder than I thought & eventually caved in. I probably should have stuck with it but he doesn't wake up when it drops/or I take it out & can settle himself back to sleep (most of the time) so will give it another try once I decide to stop swaddling & he can have his hands for comfort!

I too have problems with the catnap & end up with an irritable baby till bedtime which is so annoying because he loves his baths but has no energy left!

Sorry about the long post just trying to catch up!

Enjoy your weekends!

[Deb_in_oz]

Lizzie - i will be very curious to see how you do the transition since your lo is same as ours - 1 hour max before has to be settled to bed.  how long do you try to get lo to take the catnap before you give in?  do yhou move bedtime up or let him play a bit...?

if i could get her to be happy and awake longer the 4hrly feeding would eliminate the catnap right?? but i wonder if she would just fight WHATEVER is her last nap...

today was FANTASTIC!  Dh took Alex for their swim class at 9am, then came home to Olivia who had woken from first nap after 45 min and would not resettle.  i offered to hang back but he said it was fine.

he had a perfect day - all feeds and naps good, alex all taken care of, washing put on the line, kitchen sorted, even sterilised and prepared next 3 bottles     then i come home after a lovely day at the markets and beach (people were in bikinis - got to love Sydney "winter") and she refuses catnap.  since i am battling PPD issues this was not great for my ego - part of me hates it that he had a great day with the 2 girls when i cannot manage it.  BUT i did have a great time shopping with my mom and felt like a lady of leisure. apart from 2 loads of laundry and playig with alex and her bed/bath routine I have not had to do anything today.  I think Dh is aware that i need a break or i am going to crack in half.

he has gone out for celebratory drinks tonight with several other dads who had bubs in the past few months.  i was nice and drove him to the pub.  I am afraid to attempt the DF (I am usually in bed) so we will see what happens if we skip it.  amazingly she has been fine tonight even though she skipped the catnap.  not at all like past 2 nights  :?  why is there no rhyme or reason - everything is different all the time - my problem is that i cannot predict yet what the day will be like.  we are grateful that she is obviously getting better at resettling herself and extending her own naps (good news because we both hate doing Pat/sh ...)

[HeatherC]

Happy 4 months to Leah today, also, and to all the 4 month birthdays coming up this month!!!

[branwen]

Hi Christine! Yes we have a little refridgerator in her room and it has a fan built in and it is always on.  Darkened room too- replaced all her curtains last week.  I was afraid to try closing her door since it has always been open but last week I tried it out and her naps seem to be extending.  I'm so sad though, she hates 'baby talk' something about the high-pitched tones that freak her out.

My daughter always wakes between 5:30 or 6:30...I prefer the later of course but 6 in her usual...unless she really cries I try to get her to hang on.  Today she woke at 5:45 with hungry cries (made sense she went to bed at 6:30 and we don't dreamfeed) so I got up and I just extended her morning nap so we'd be on track- can't believe it worked.  When my baby was 3 months she would wake at 4:30 or 5 and I treated it like night feed- no talking, lights or anything, eat and put back to bed.  I think this helped her regulate to a 6pm wake up.  Unfortunately I'll probably never get her to go later as my husband goes to work around that time so there is always noise in the house at that time :roll:

Deb- In terms of the 4 hour transition.  I have reversed the cat nap to the middle of the day- actually it happened by accident when I started transitioning her to 4 hours and now I'm making it permanent until she can stay awake longer.  We have a 2 hr nap in the morning- a 1 hr at mid day and then another 2 hr in the afternoon- so she does 4-3-4 between feeds.  It seems to really be working!  Then she is up 3 hrs before bed..she is barely making it though and I have moved bedtime earlier the last few days since the cat nap is no longer in the evenings and she has been overtired for her bath.  I'm sorry to here you're struggling with PPD - I too have a mild case but have been on meds since before the birth of my daughter.  I have found evening primrose oil and a b-complex in addition to help me through last few months.

Lizzie- Good news! Now that I have dropped my 6th feed she goes longer at the breast- we're back to 15 to 20 instead of 5 to 10 and the morning feed has lengthened to 20 or 30.  YEAH!  I guess all of that suckling was her napping at my breast and using me as a pacifier!  Now she uses her thumb  :wink:

New issue re: touchy babies- when did your babies start rolling over and grabbing stuff?  My daughter still won't roll over at 19 weeks.  She hates tummy time which is part of it.  She does grab stuff, but toys generally overwhelm her, so I end up taking them away.  I don't want to push her but I do have some concerns that she seems so disinterested in toys and so nonphysical at times.

[Deb_in_oz]

Branwen - Olivia rolled over at 7 weeks (i posted earlier about my girls' super upper body strength...so don't compare with us) and does it sometimes - not every day.  this is from tummy to back when doing tummy time.  19 weeks is still not a time to get worried about rolling - i have heard of 8 month olds who have not rolled.  the key is to keep offering tummy time every day even for 5 min or so.

about the toys - we are in the same boat.  olivia's "activity time" is pretty much people oriented / observation plus tummy time and a few min under gym.  she really gets whacko from "toys".  i expressed concern to the early childhood nurse as i was worried she would not develop the  necessary motor skills, etc and was not "batting toys" like other 3-4 mo. and her response was "she does not NEED toys" she needs food, sleep and love. generations of kids were not put in front of DVDs, given rattles and developmental toys, etc and all ended up walking, talking, socialising children.  she said it will come in time when she is ready to handle more and will not hurt her to wait.  i offer stuffed toys to look at rather than noisy/interactive things.  she does seem to be fascinated by tv though when she catches a second when sitting on someone's lap.  HTH

[Leah's Mom]

Branwen- Leah is still not rolling over, she jsut doesn't seem interested. She is also only interested in her toys for a few mintues. She would much rather look at the can lights on our ceiling or at us.

Lizzie- I am also wanting to start the four hour routine tomorrow, but I haven't had time to lay out a plan, so maybe I will start mid-week. I need to take advantage of my three month vacation from teaching. I hope to have her on an awesome schedule for the sitter in the fall - yah right, like that every really happens!!  :wink: There is always something that throws things for a loop!

Deb- I completely forgot that you are in the "winter" season. I feel for you! When Leah was born it was winter and it was dark at 4:30 - that didn't help the baby blues!!!! I'll think on the catnap issue...

Last night I shut the night light off in Leah's room and she slept straight thru until 5:15. I have no idea if it was becuase I turned off the night light, but we'll see what happens tonight!!

Glad to hear everyone is doing well! Take care!

[branwen]

Hi everyone!  Thanks for all the support on the rolling over bit.  I know I need to chill on it but I'm tired of my mother exclaiming "why does she hate her tummy...you slept on your tummy...blah blah" as if I am doing something wrong!  fortunately she does not live close so I only have to hear this once a month  :wink:

Our 4 hr transition is going ok.  I'm still struggling with the afternoon nap.  She really doesn't like to go the 2 hours.

Her new bedtime is 6:30.  She does seem to wake earlier also because of this which is getting us off track for the whole day.  I guess I'm stuck on the afternoon evening thing.  If she wakes at 4:00 or 4:30 from the last afternoon nap she is supposed to make it through dinner and bath right?

Christine- I am also thinking of turning off the night light- do you close the door also or is there light from another source?  I want to try this but am so afraid she will wake up and not know where she is kind of thing, won't see something familiar...  Could you keep me posted about your success with it?

New question- are your husband's on board with the whole baby temperament thing?  Mine is having a hard time  :?

I'm new to boards so I'm going to ask a dumb question too- what is ds, dd and dh- I think this is son, daughter, husband but what is the d?