12 month old (now almost 14 mo) with 30-45 min naps- THREAD 2

[lesorl]

And now she's resisting bedtime... in bed at 6:45pm, and it's now 7:24pm and she's still hollering.  That makes me think 1 nap, but having blown it twice I'm not looking forward to it.

Thoughts?

[LCandB]

Yeah, resisting bedtime in combination with the nap resistance makes me think 1 nap as well.  Part of it may be the time change; even though we didn't change Leah Catherine's day, but rather just change the clock times, she seems to sense its different.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about your situation this weekend and think going to one nap is the way to go as long as M is feeling better.  I know others may disagree, but things never got any better for us until we made the switch. I tried one nap once when she started refusing naps the first time and it didn't go well (she got a virus in the midst of it) so I backed up to trying 2 again.  She adjusted back into that, with 2 short naps just like M and then she started fighting the PM nap.  I so wish she had just fought the am nap - it would have made it so much easier for sure. 

I think for M it needs to be a gradual switch. I also think you need a plan, because I sense that you are a huge planner like me. So I'm throwing this out - kind of thinking as typing.

M is taking her am nap (with the time change) at 10:45, right? Technically she's been doing this time for 6 or so days, I believe.  Would you consider going back to one nap again or do you feel more comfortable doing 2?

The transistion is hard, but we'll be here to support you.  Our goal is to protect her nighttime sleep, because you and M both need that to be able to handle whatever the day brings.  My personal thoughts are that the sooner you make the transition, the sooner that one nap will lengthen for you guys.  We've been sticking to the same schedule for 20 days now of just one nap and things are so much better than before.  Total sleep seems about on par with M, its just allocated differently now and she's a lot happier upon waking from naps.  I feel better because I feel like I can finally enjoy some of that Y time that everyone talks about, LOL.  It's not always the perfect nap of 2 hours, but more often than not its an hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours.  I can live with that, and I think with time it will even out.  The hardest thing for me has been to resist the urge to over-tweak her schedule - and the only way for us to work it out was to pick a set naptime and go with it. 

So basically, I'm asking if you're willing to give the set naptime another go?  I really believe you will find success with it. M is doing better right?

One more thing that I forgot to say.  Would you be willing to consider waking M after 11.5 hours of night sleep?  I think doing so might garner you a longer nap during the day.  That's something you could try either A) if you stay on 2 naps a day or B) after you make the transition to 1 nap a day.  We transitioned and then realized that if she slept longer than 11.5 hours at night she just wasn't going to nap all that long during the day.  So if she's not up after 11.5 hours (and she's not seemed OT - its kind of a judgement call that I make by watching her cues), I would typically wake her.  Lately, however, she's been doing it on her own as she seems to be getting more settled into the 1 nap routine. 

[MommaHolmes]

As M's first nap is currently at 10:45, it is a very short jump to 11am for one nap.

If you want to try the one nap again (you DIDN'T blow it AT ALL!)  then you could do one nap at 11am and either offer a pm catnap at 3 or 3:30 and if she doesn't take it then early to bed (which will likely be 4:30 or 5) OR don't offer the catnap and go straight for the early bedtime.

You are the best judge of whether this is the right move - I am just trying to give you my best guess from a distance. My two concerns about this are a) that it *might* not have been a coincidence that she got poorly at the same point the last two times (but that's a BIG 'might'!) b) the early bedtimes may take you back to early wakeups and c) you will likely have to cope with a few nights of yucky NW.

If you're cool with all of that then go for it. She will have to transition eventually so in some respects it's better to get it out of the way. Both Beth and Katt have had great success with doing this with their LOs so you know it can work.

HTH (a little at least!)
Laura x

[lesorl]

Oh gosh- I have no idea.  I like sleeping thru the night, last night she fell off as I was typing about 7:25pm, and woke this morning at 6:50pm.  I'm afraid to make changes in the routine as she's doing well with the naplets

My other thought is to move the nap to 11am and offer the catnap in the stroller.  But somehow I don't think moving the nap to 11am will give me more than 30 mins, and the catnap may prevent a longer nap from happening.  And if she wakes at 11:30am-11:45am, then it's a looonnggg time til bedtime, even with an early bedtime of 4:30pm.  Then I'm back to EWs.

I'm leaning towards moving the nap to 12pm, and if she wakes at 12:30pm or 12:45pm, then I can at least get her to bed at 6pm/6:15pm.

[LCandB]

I'm leaning towards moving the nap to 12pm, and if she wakes at 12:30pm or 12:45pm, then I can at least get her to bed at 6pm/6:15pm.

That was my rationale as well and how we ended up moving towards our current routine.  That's a great night - GO M!!

[MommaHolmes]

It's a case of either a) be brave, go cold turkey to the new schedule and steel yourself for a rough week or b) be cautious, keep the solid nights but potentially have much longer faffing about with rubbish day sleep.

I can see the merits in both and will be here to support you whatever!

[skatty]

ooh you do have a tough decision to make! It does seem that she is doing ok on her power naps at the mo' but as Laura said she has to transition at some point and she is at least well rested now.

As I think I mentioned yesterday, L took a 40 min nap yesterday and so was in asleep by 6pm but woke at 6.40 this morning, very early for her but I kept her nap until 12 and she woke at 1hr15 I put some teething gel on her gums (yes she is still teething  ) and she went back to sleep and had a mammoth 2½hours  I think sometimes a big stretch in A time can be a good thing because they get too tired to be wired IYKWIM? I am not sure but think L started to wake earlier because I started waking her at 7.30am every morning, I have learnt my lesson and have decided if it aint broke I aint fixing it! I was anxious because her naps were getting longer and was worried she'd start not being ready to go to bed until late but all I ended up with was an earlier waking and shorter nap. Anyway the moral of that story is that sometimes we can't predict our LO's behaviour and just have to go with the flow and enjoy those times they are napping and sleeping well!!

If you choose to have the midday nap I would try for a catnap but wake her at 20 mins so it is shorter than one of her usual naps and is just enough to get you to bedtime but not enough for you to have bedtime problems.

[lesorl]

Well I think I've screwed myself today... we went to music, as I feel terrible for being sooo focused on sleep and not letting her enjoy being a kid.  I thought about keeping her up until 12noon, but put her to sleep about 11:10am.  So I suspect I'm going to have a rough afternoon, even with a catnap.

I wish this were easier on both of us.

UPDATE- Even at 11:10am, she only slept 30 mins.  I guess even when we switch to 1 nap at 12pm, she'll sleep only 30 mins the first few days.  Ugh- not looking forward to that.

[LCandB]

Hey Leslie - Remember Leah Catherine did the same at 11 naps - 30 minutes, but when we moved it to 12 it was quickly 45 minutes for 2 (I think?) days and then it got to an hour. By week 2 we started getting an hour +, by 2 and a half weeks we were at an hour and 45 mins to 2 hours.  So it does take time to extend the one nap, because they are used to having 2 naps at 30 minutes.

If you choose to have the midday nap I would try for a catnap but wake her at 20 mins so it is shorter than one of her usual naps and is just enough to get you to bedtime but not enough for you to have bedtime problems.

I think this is a great idea!  I was trying to figure out how you can give her a small nap but still shift her internal clock towards one nap - and I think this may be the ticket to keep your later bedtime.  As long as it its less than her normal 30 minutes then she will slowly get the message that her big sleep is to be the midday one.

we went to music, as I feel terrible for being sooo focused on sleep and not letting her enjoy being a kid. 

I think this is important to note, I felt the same way alot and it kind of goes back to what Laura & Nic said about you just kind of get to a place with it where you let go some.  I am a planner by nature, but I have to try and relax about things and let Leah Catherine be the little person she is.  If I look at the bigger picture it helps, but as we all know, that can get dicey when you have a crying toddler and you just want to help them.

So do you plan on just doing the 11 am nap for a few days with a catnap in the afternoon or are you looking towards moving towards 12? 

How was she when she woke from her nap?

[lesorl]

She woke a little cranky from her nap... but OK.

Not sure if I should just go to 1 nap at 12pm, or keep an 11am for a few days.  I suppose I'll see how this afternoon goes.

[LCandB]

I think I would keep it at 11 for a few days since it seems like M does best with gradual shifts.

We're having an off day here it seems.  LC woke after an hour and 10 minutes and I am sitting outside her door doing WIWO whenever she starts crying again - she's not real pleased at the moment.  My only guess is that she slept in later this am as her mom was being lazy with the time change.  It may end up being a long afternoon here.

I hope you are getting along well Leslie.

[lesorl]

Oh gos- bedtime is going to keep getting later!  She wanted to read books at the usual nap time, but then resisted the nap again.  Finally fell off about 3:10pm, which means bedtime (by the time she falls asleep) will be after 7:30pm!

Obviously I don't want to shorten either of the 30 min naps, but what else can I do?  I see the shift to 1 nap sooner, just terrified of the consequences.

One other thing- I may become a prop when she resists the naps.  WI/WO seems to anger her more, and then she takes even longer to go to sleep.  So as long as she's lying down, I'll stay in her room.  Same thing last night, but I left and expected her to start up again.  She didn't though, just went 2S. 

[MommaHolmes]

You're not a prop if you can walk out and she still falls asleep - don't worry, I think you've done an AWESOME job of the sleep training.

It's also not surprising that she didn't go to sleep until 3:10 as her am nap was half an hour later, so that makes sense.

Hope bedtime goes better than you are expecting 

[lesorl]

I was going to aim for 7pm bedtime... do you think that'll completely screw her up?  I don't think she'll be up before 3:40pm, and I don't think she'll go b2s 3 hours after she wakes.

[LCandB]

What time did she end up waking Leslie?  I know the soonest I can usually get LC down after a nap is around 4 hours - but she has to be really tired to do it. 

I finally ended up giving up on WIWO, LC was so not having it today.  She's played happily this afternoon so far so maybe today is just one of those days.