Sleep, what's that?

[*Becky*]

it is the same here Laura. Henry cries if I even go up the stairs. So tiring hey. Hang in there xx

[katie80]

it is the same here Laura.

Yep, here too.  Who knew you could do so much (or not so much) with a toddler hanging on your leg?!? When Claire knows DH is coming home, she'll stand at the window for 20 min and whine "Daddy, hold you, Daddy, hold you!"  Becky's right, it is tiring!! 

Those NWs sound like teeth. 

[LizzieN]

We have had quite huge SA especially after C was born....I think it's very normal at this stage but still hard.  At night when I go to settle C DS goes crackers 'cause I close (and lock) the door (DH is with him)...sigh
x

[babybarr]

Another bad night last night.  I'm literally at the end of my tether and now dreading having to go back to work feeling more tired than before having 6weeks off.  I'm so over this sorry mess.  

He's started (not every night he wakes) really calling for me and asking me to turn the light on.  His NWs weren't behavioural but I can slowly feel them going that way.  I mean it's usually after he's been awake and trying to settle for a while but what am I supposed to do?  I only have to go in - usually he wants a cuddle - and leave but I really thought he'd be sleeping by now.

[MummyToBen]

Oh Laura, ugh that must be so so hard 

I read in one of your previous posts on here that you noticed that his night wakings are worse when he's OT....do you think we need to come up with our combined best plan of action to tackle serious OT?  I.e. medicating for sleep times (for teeth), perhaps trying the meds that you were giving him before (can't remember what they are called - the sleep hormone stuff  ), giving very early nights etc, and anything else that anyone can think of??  Perhaps having two weeks of serious focusing on it all together and holding your hand?

Sorry if you've already been trying all this - I just know that for such a long time you weren't sure whether this was all OT or UT, and now you're more sure it's OT/teeth perhaps we can all get our thinking caps on with you xxxx

[MLK]

I've always jsut done the minimum necessary to get them back to sleep  - mine never really settled on their own until around 2.5. Luckily they both had brief wakings around 11pm when I was still up - I would jsut go in and give them their lovey and a quick drink (sippy left i nthe cot) and be out in less than a minute. I keep talking to a minimum.

I know it's more complicated for you though! A while ago one of my neighbours was telling my her son would have long nightwakign too - this was at age 4/5. So they would get up and put a DVD on for him and he woud go back to bed afterwards. I was gobsmacked!

[*Becky*]

Oh Laura - hugs and more hugs. I too feel more tired at the moment than I did 6 weeks ago and the thought of work adding to it is grim but I work less and have less on my plate than you do with O so I can only imagine how down you must be feeling.
Did you medicate last night? Do you think it is to do with teeth discomfort? Henry def needs me there when he wakes if his teeth are bothering him whereas if his teeth are ok he is able to self settle. Precisely the reason I keep the meds coming when his teeth are on the move!
Is he really crying or is it more of a shout/annoyance? I guess at this age I would be saying to not go in unless you really think he is distressed because these toddlers are quick to latch on to anything. When we were away I had trouble getting henry down for a nap and I ended up stroking his head once or twice. literally - that was it. He is STILL asking me to do it 2 weeks later after that one time so I have to be careful what I start iykwim.
I am holding out hope for the clock for you xxx

[babybarr]

So they would get up and put a DVD on for him and he woud go back to bed afterwards.

At this rate this is what I'll be doing lol!

Lan - I don't talk to him other than to tell him it's still night time and I've tried no physical contact but he just gets hysterical so a quick cuddle usually is enough to reassure him even if it then takes him another 30/40/50mins to go back to sleep.  Thanks for the reassurance though, I just can't see what's right and wrong anymore.

Claire - the thing lately though is he's taking an hour to fall asleep...  so even if he's had a good nap the length of the nap is pretty much undone by him taking an age to fall asleep iyswim?  I will give him the antihistamine in the middle of the night if I have work and he's being really noisy - I feel like such a bad mother for doing that but it's the *only* thing that actually will send him back to sleep - esp. when I'm desperate.  It's so hard when he does only short naps too - I just can't win.  I'm trying to get him in bed as early as possible but with DH coming home from work it's not usually before 6.30pm now due to us moving slightly further away from DH's work.  I have tried to get as much sleep into him as poss but nothing ever works for long.  Maybe I get a respite for a night or even 2 but then back to square one.  Sorry, you girls must be so fed up of me by now.

Becky - he starts with a moan mummy mummy mummy and then when I don't go he starts to panic.  I guess the whole SA / teeth thing isn't helping that side of things.  I did give him meds before bed and in the night, he settled much quicker to sleep yesterday BUT he only napped an hour.  I'm going to try and see if the shorter nap helps the settling but maybe that's wrong too - I just feel like everything I try is wrong

[*Becky*]

oh of course we are not fed up with you - don't say that hun, we are all here because we care and we really do want to help.
I am finding that naps are rubbish here but because of that he is settling for bed within 5 mins now and before it was anything up to 45 mins. Meds do not always seem to help with the naps anyway which is also weird as they always help with the nights. who knows eh?!
With the night SA I guess it is teeth related and will hopefully pass. Not much help I know but it is common with teeth so at least it is happening to others too...which kind of is reassuring iykwim.

[babybarr]

Well he's only napped an hour anyway... so we'll see what happens for settling tonight.

[MLK]

I usually give/gave them a stroke on  the head and a quick "mummy's here" to reassure them. I actually wait a minute and if I think they aren't going back to sleep (the calls escalate) I find the quicker I go in the quicker they both go back to sleep.


I sing them a lullaby to sleep and with DS1 I would often sing it again if he was upset at a NW. Sometimes I woudl have to sing it over and over. Even now at 6 I still sing him the song at bedtime and he tells me it makes him sleepy straight away! A good thign with a spirited one. Sometimes when he's stayed over at his grandparents they haven't sung it to him so he's tried to sing it to himself. It's a really powerful sleep cue. Worth a try?

[babybarr]

Sometimes when he's stayed over at his grandparents they haven't sung it to him so he's tried to sing it to himself.

That's so sweet.

Maybe I'll give it a go!  I sing a lot to him already (I'm a music teacher - not that means I have a great singing voice mind ) but I've never really found a "bedtime" song that has stuck.  I'll have a think.

He settled within about 25mins again which is better, so maybe the nap needs to stay slightly shorter now - who knows!

[LizzieN]

Hello lovely,
We would never get sick of you sweetheart, don't even think that for a second..we are all here for you as much as we can be.

A couple of thoughts,

Dyllan will often call out in the night and if DH goes in (as I am up with C) he will get hysterical....I shut that behaviour down with the stern mummy voice "D that is ENOUGH", then moderate my tone and tell him it's still night time and to go to sleep, quick cuddle if necessary, make sure he has his dummy then leave him and see how he goes.  Sometimes I will stand outside his door and tell him to settle down (only if I think he is being silly and after attention)....I only do this if I'm pretty sure he isn't hurting in some way (reflux, teeth etc).  Also as you know he is testing us at the moment, so O might not be up to that stage yet (in which case dont' try the above)

If he is getting funny about the dark perhaps get him one of those aquariums (fisher price type thingy) that is tied to the headboard that he can turn on himself, he may find it soothing? Or a touch light that he can turn on himself (just make sure you put a really low globe in it so it's not too bright).

Sweetie, you are doing your best and you are doing a good job....he is difficult and every day is different so don't drive yourself nuts, just try and treat the good ones as a success (they do seem to be getting more frequent??) and don't take the cr@p ones as failures, they are just blips that will reduce as he gets older.  This will get better as he gets older and understands more!

Hugs lovelyx
xxx

[MLK]

Maybe I'll give it a go!  I sing a lot to him already (I'm a music teacher - not that means I have a great singing voice mind ) but I've never really found a "bedtime" song that has stuck.  I'll have a think.

I actually just made up some words to Brahm's lullaby ("Go to sleep, go to sleep" etc)- and sing it in a really boring and monotonous voice. Over and over if need be. Some nights when he was sick I almost put myself to sleep!

[katie80]

Some nights when he was sick I almost put myself to sleep!

LOL, that just happened to me the other night!  Ours is 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'.  I know, not really a bedtime song, but it's the first one out of the rotation of 'Baa Baa', 'Twinkle Twinkle', and 'Jesus Loves Me' that C could ask for at 14 mo.  So, I got up, rocked with her a bit, put her back in bed and started singing.  At one point, I realized I wasn't singing the right words anymore.   A couple stray ones made their way in!  

Anyway, I've found that it works really well to have that 'one' (or three ) songs when we're away or have a babysitter.  It's part of the routine that anyone can do at anyplace and it really calms DD down!