How to deal w/chocolate allergy at school?

[aisling]

How hard is it to make up a calendar to send home with a weekley menu plan, this is what our nursery school did...argh these teachers!  Here, here is one for them:

Monday-Mrs. Jones-cheese, crackers, milk
Tues.-Mrs.Amelia-pita, hummus, apple juice
Wed.-Mrs Smith-apple slices, pretzels and milk
Thurs-Mrs.Spaghettini-carrots, digestive/tea biscuits and grape juice
Fri-Mrs.Percival-Carrot muffins, grapes and milk.

Done!  

[momtonb&ab]

Ok Anne, this school just doesn't seem to be cutting it.   The kids' preschool and now their school both request no sweets / chocolate / sugary treats at all.  And they literally send nasty-o-grams home to parents who do otherwise.    One mom sent in soya butter on a sandwich but forgot to mark it and they sent the uneaten sandwich home with a really nasty note.   

Ameilia (and you) are nor being respected here.    End of story.   Rock the boat.  Tip it if you must, but in no universe are brownies an appropriate 10 am snack for anyone, especially not 4 year olds wherein one has a chocolate allergy.  There are so many things wrong here.     They aren't teaching healthy eating, they aren't teaching respect and safety for our friends, and sure and certai. They are not insisting parents abide by the rules.   
 

I am so sad for Amelia.   No little girl should be excluded like that when grown up teachers can do something about it. 

[deb]

At Josie's preschool there was a fridge/freezer in the kitchen where they kept milk for lunchtime; could you keep something at school for Amelia?

And you know what? I'd go ahead and get a doctor's note, and the Benadryl, and the whole 9 yards, and scare the heck out of them with paperwork. I can guarantee that NO school wants to be the one who has to call 911 or frantically hunt for an epi-pen because they were too lax on food rules. It's bad enough they don't think twice about excluding her, but that's not OK.

[speechie]

And you know what? I'd go ahead and get a doctor's note, and the Benadryl, and the whole 9 yards, and scare the heck out of them with paperwork. I can guarantee that NO school wants to be the one who has to call 911 or frantically hunt for an epi-pen because they were too lax on food rules. It's bad enough they don't think twice about excluding her, but that's not OK.

I agree- if you are keeping her in the school- scare the $h!t out of them medically and be very up front about your worries. TBH, if you already feel like it's a rocky relationship, THEY should be doing their best to be super nice and keep you guys happy!! UGH. I'm totally fuming for you both.

Nick has the red food dye reactions- hyperactivity, etc. Our school dictates what snacks will be when. SO, there is a list of snacks, the dates they are needed and a sign up sheet for the parents. No brownies etc unless it is a party, and then the parents should be informed there is an allergy issue and make vanilla cake instead!!
HUGS HUGs huggityHUGS

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How hard is it to make up a calendar to send home with a weekley menu plan, this is what our nursery school did...argh these teachers!

Yeah, our preschool does this too (however, we still get parents bringing in junk).  I have to provide Spencer's snack every day though as her intolerances are way to many to expect other parents to deal with.  In Masyn's kindergarten class the teacher has banned parents from bringing in food on birthdays, but I learned they still have food on celebration days and I can just picture the kind of food that will be!

I would for sure get a Dr.'s note if you can and a bottle of benadryl, the thing with allergies (and I would say this is one) is that past reactions do not predict future ones...so something like hives from chocolate one time could result in a worse reaction the next.

[skatty]

Ok Anne, this school just doesn't seem to be cutting it.   The kids' preschool and now their school both request no sweets / chocolate / sugary treats at all.  And they literally send nasty-o-grams home to parents who do otherwise.    One mom sent in soya butter on a sandwich but forgot to mark it and they sent the uneaten sandwich home with a really nasty note.   

Ameilia (and you) are nor being respected here.    End of story.   Rock the boat.  Tip it if you must, but in no universe are brownies an appropriate 10 am snack for anyone, especially not 4 year olds wherein one has a chocolate allergy.  There are so many things wrong here.     They aren't teaching healthy eating, they aren't teaching respect and safety for our friends, and sure and certai. They are not insisting parents abide by the rules.   
       

I am so sad for Amelia.   No little girl should be excluded like that when grown up teachers can do something about it.

Exactly this ^^^^

and this :

And you know what? I'd go ahead and get a doctor's note, and the Benadryl, and the whole 9 yards, and scare the heck out of them with paperwork. I can guarantee that NO school wants to be the one who has to call 911 or frantically hunt for an epi-pen because they were too lax on food rules. It's bad enough they don't think twice about excluding her, but that's not OK.

Honestly I am so speechless I don't have words of my own!!

[We Three]

 I am speecless too....very angry.  The more I think of it, the more upset I get.     I fear this might be what I was afriad of...that because they don't like *me*, they are going to take it out on Amelia.  That may be my paranoia at work, but maybe not.     That's why I'm scared to bring in the note and all that.     I really think it would be to dd's detriment to pull her out of this school...she is getting used to it now and I would HATE to pull her.  I'm scared that if I say anything else that I'll be asked to leave...honestly.  I just thought we were clear that I'd be told when there was a birthday so that I could bring in a cupcake for her. They didn't even bother to tell me yesterday that there were brownies and dd had crackers. Can I just tell you that every time I picture that I start crying?

 I have some time here, because tomorrow her school is spending the morning at a farm on a field trip (all parents are going) and then Monday there is no school.  So I have time to think, to decide what to do.  Dh thinks I should go straight to the board and ask flat-out "What is your policy with regard to allergies? We were under the assumption that if a child had an allergy, that the offending food would simply not be offered in class."   That's the differnce though with hives vs. "major" reactions I guess, in the eyes of the schools.     I agree 100% that it would be SO SIMPLE to just give parents a list of approved snacks, the fact is they won't, they have already told me that. 

 I don't understand why it was even brought up at Open House...why bother telling everyone there was a chocolate allergy if everyone was just going to ignore it?   

 It is not even 10 am and I am furious again. 

[Shiv52]

I am baffled by the fact that they allow those sorts of snacks to be provided.  Regardless of allergy I would be horrified if cookies and brownies were 'approved' snacks in any young school setting and would be making a complaint from that stand point alone.  This month M's topic in school is healthy eating and exercise and they send any 'treat' food home. 

{{{hugs Anne}}} Its hard enough to let them go to school and get used to them being out of the hous without having to worry about stuff like this which shouldn't even be an issue xx

[EllenS]

Hives IS a major allergic reaction.  Anyone who thinks differently has never had them. It is the warning shot that lucky people get before their allergy becomes life-threatenting.  Sorry, but your child has to almost die before we take any precautions? 

Get her out of there.  This has nothing to do with you or paranoia.  I was kinda feeling sorry for the teacher on your other thread, because dealing with very sensitive people can be difficult when (like me) you are not very sensitive yourself.

However, this is not about "sensitive" or emotions, or anything. This is plain common sense and they are incompetent.

[Peek-a-boo]

Ann--you mention a "board."  Is this a parent-run preschool?  Or is it a for profit preschool?  I'm on the board of a parent-run preschool and, honestly, we're all bumbling along doing our best because we are just parents and don't have tons of experience.  

It's possible that because of the dye-free thing the teacher/other parents are not taking the chocolate allergy very seriously.  Thinking something like . . . "Okay, this lady is a health nut and doesn't want her kid having dyes, so she's exaggerating this chocolate allergy to keep her DD away from other sweets too."  

I'd definitely get the note from the doctor.  Perhaps in discussion with him you can find out if benedryll is the best approach or if she might actually need to have an epipen.    I'm sure those things would help them address this more seriously.  

You might also ask if they have a freezer at school where you could store cupcakes for her so that they are on hand should the need arise.  

And, while they should be being more careful and respectful of her allergy, the unfortunate reality is that she'll likely just have to get used to not eating the same things as other kids.  I think it's something you just need to talk her through.   DS1 is intolerant of dairy and we struggle with the b-day thing too--but he's grown quite used to not eating treats along with others--he just rolls with it most of the time.  Sometimes he's frustrated and then I try to provide him a treat at home even though it is after the fact.    I'm looking forward to when he's old enough to really understand what causes his reaction so he can take ownership of saying no rather than feeling denied.

I'm thankful our preschool does not do group snacks except for b-days.  Each parent sends a snack for his/her child each day rather than group snacks.  With the wildly different notions of what is "healthy" these days and the prevalence of allergies, group snacks seem ill-advised.

[skatty]

At our preschool it is the parent board that decide things like birthday treat policy, can you get in touch with the head of the parent board and express that you don't think it is appropriate to have biscuits and cakes as snacks, I would be surprised if you were the only parent to think that!

Maybe you could buy some individually wrapped cereal bars or cookies that can be kept at the school so she isn't left with a cracker  I am sure they could have come up with something a bit more exciting even if it was some chopped fruit!

Definitely get that doctors note! Allergies can change suddenly, my hay fever suddenly developed into quite a serious grass allergy, when I am around cut grass I start to itch all over and if I don't take anthistamin and asthma inhalers my breathing gets restricted, it only became that severe this summer! Honestly if you said she was allergic to peanuts it would be a much bigger deal 

[First Time Mom]

WTH, chocolate brownies?! What if a child had a peanut allergy and the brownies were made in a facility that also processed foods made with peanuts? I am surprised parents are allowed to bring in junk food for birthdays. That's a lot of junk considering there are what, 20 kids in the class that have birthday's at some point in the year? Your dd sounds like she has an allergy to chocolate. It is so unfair for them to let her sit there and eat crackers. 

Maybe talk to other parents and group together those that take issue with chocolate/junk food for their 4 year olds. I'll bet you're not the only one. I'd push for a change in policy. My dd's school had a policy in kindergarten that when it's a birthday there are no food treats- just other treats; birthday get announced on the PA, they go to the office to pick out a "treat" from a basket (dollar store type of toy) and they get to assist the teacher with taking down attendance, etc., for the day. Her school is "green" and so all foods have to be in take home containers and have to be healthy (fruits, veggies, etc), with zero pre-packaged food for snack time. The teacher enforces by doing a quick check when they pull out their snacks.

[Mama2boys]

hugs Annie,

some things are strange here and surprise me about the school, but somethings I can see...
1. DS's pre school sneds out a lits of approved snacks including brands which the parents bring in so its a controlled and school managed snack. Normal routine is not to have browines or M&M cookies etc. those are treats for bday celebrations. school is nut free btw
2. I think its a lot to aks for the whole class to be deprived of a chocolate treat because DD is allergic to it. Na dthe reaosn I say that is, because DS has had a kid in his class for 2 years now who is allergic to a gazillion things, milk, nuts etc and if everyone strated not brining what N could not eat there would be little that the kids could eat. they get Milk pretty much every other day as part of snack time. so I think its a lot to ask for all parents to drop off chocolate from their list of treats.
3. DS's school does let N's family know when there is a treat and what will be served so his parents can send an equivalent and for other days his parents leave a stash with the teacher

I think your point about being told in advance is very fair and sweeties being served on a regular basis is just wrong, BUT asking for the whole class to skip chocolate treats mighht be a bit too mcuh too expect as well.

Just my 2 cents

[deb]

The best snack experience we had was when Josie brought in her OWN snack. Every. Single. Day. She lived.

Natalie's entire class isn't having ANY food in the classroom ALL YEAR because there is a kid in there with multiple severe food allergies. As in the whole class washes their hands, with soap, EVERY TIME they come into the room, as do ALL ADULTS, even if it's for a short visit. The class got over it, the adults got past it, we all moved on. Birthdays are observed with a song and maybe pencils or other non-food items, I don't even have to worry about Halloween and Valentine's candy and the effect they'll have on Natalie. I am THRILLED. I only wish the whole SCHOOL would buy into that. For real.

It's not asking a lot IMO because if there aren't food treats, the class doesn't know what they're missing, and if they want junk food they can get it at home. Observing a birthday is one thing, along with celebrating, but it should't take an Act of Congress to get junk out of a classroom. There may be more food allergies or sensitivities in there than even their parents know about, and besides, what preschool teacher doesn't *facepalm* when there's a sugary snack mid-morning? I know the teachers I've worked with always did. There's a reason it's a bad idea!

[Buntybear]

Hi, if you are that upset then you need to take some action. When we started at nursery I feared that I was branded a PIA with Olly's allergies - then I came along with suspected 'fructose malabsorption' and I think they thought I had flipped. However we were the ones with a screaming baby at night time because they were giving him fruits he couldn't tolerate. Yes, I endured a few months of worrying about it but I stayed true to what was healthiest and best for my LO and now we are back on a stable playing field and everyone is happy! I am even on the parent committee myself now 

I guess the only way to deal with it is to make it black and white - she CANNOT HAVE CHOCOLATE