Beyond Fed Up - 2 years 8months eating

[Shiv52]

Sounds like you guys are making progress!!! YAY!  Small steps and all that xxx

[Mom to M&M]

Thanks hun! Keep doing exactly as I am or anything need to be tweaked? The fruit and veg thing is frustrating of course but not letting him know that!

[Shiv52]

I would leave it as it is for at least a few weeks before you make any tweaks xx

[Erin M]

Ooh, I hope he gobbles up the meatballs!  I hate when they refuse things you know they like!

[Mom to M&M]

Will do Shiv! Totally Erin - that gets me the most I think! He's been eating and loving these meatballs for at least 1.5 years so no refusing them now! Will serve with his choice of spoon-able applesauce and squeezable applesauce (cause he's still refusing to spoon feed himself anything but pasta) and will also have carrots and dip on the table. The rest of us are actually doing a deli night - rare night off cooking for me!

[Mom to M&M]

Well no snack at all after his nap (I offered breakfast cookie, chickpeas or apple slices) and so far no dinner (applesauce and meatballs). Not looking pretty.

He was claiming his belly hurt after dinner. Then at bedtime snack he was offered his choice of grapes with DD or his breakfast cookies from earlier - which he inhaled two of (at least they have tofu and oats and all in them and very little sugar). Just worried he's dropping meatballs and that would NOT be good!

[Mashi]

Karen we had a LOT of sore tummy complaints from DS at first. I would pick him up from kindergarten and he would be in tears because his tummy hurt, and when I asked him what he ate for lunch he would say nothing because it was yucky.  I asked if he even tasted it and he would say no   I was very kind and calm when I asked him and I would always tell him the reason his tummy hurt was because it was hungry. I did always bring a snack with me for him (it is a long commute home from the preschool) so he would not have to wait until home - it was his regular afternoon snack which he would get regardless. But I will say it took a good two months of that before he started tasting/eating his lunch at kindergarten.   And, many times when he chose to go hungry instead of eating dinner at home, he would wake up crying in the morning saying his tummy hurt.  I always told him again and again that the pain was hunger, and it was from having not eaten his dinner.  And again it took weeks and weeks and weeks for him to accept that connection.  I was careful not to be upset or 'scolding' in my tone but just explaining and telling him what the feeling was and why he had it.

[Mom to M&M]

I totally get that Mashi. BUT the reason I wonder if his belly really hurt is because he had a different pizza at lunchtime. I always make his pizza and use my own pizza crust (which I freeze in dough balls until I need to use), chopped spinach, either homemade sauce or one certain brand and a certain brand of soy cheese (Vegan Gourmet, also called Follow Your Heart). Works well for us. But yesterday the store was out of the cheese and I bought the brand my friend uses, Daiya - which is NOT soy based. It looked and tasted different and the ingredients are different and the stomach upset seemed to start shortly thereafter (he never refuses snack usually) so I'm wondering if that was it? He was pooping more than usual too.

But thank you for your story, I'm sure that's at play here sometimes too and I appreciate knowing how you have successfully handled it!

Was it a mistake to have offered the breakfast cookies? It was about an hour past dinner and I was offering DD her usual choice of cereal and fruit. I figured at least the cookies are much more wholesome and substantial than some dry cereal?!

[Mashi]

I don't think it was a mistake to offer the breakfast cookies at all - but I would not use them as an every night snack, and I would mix up bedtime snack as much as you do with other meals and snacks, but at least at bedtime make sure that if he has not had his dinner, that there is for sure something filling that he will eat iyswim.

[Mom to M&M]

Thanks again Mashi!

Dinner started out miserably but ended up GREAT. After skipping his nap today (for the first time ever!), he was an overtired mess at dinner. Dinner was sweet potato fries (which he loves), homemade chicken nuggets and applesauce pouch (the rest of us also had salad and DH and I had the same chicken but in cutlet form). The chicken was new for him, not his usual nuggets.

These were made the same as DD's and DH's (I'm gluten free) but I used cookie cutters to cut the kids ones into stars, circles and triangles. They were dredged in seasoned whole wheat flour and then dipped in egg/honey and then coated with bread crumbs (half whole wheat half regular) mixed with cornmeal and spices; then sauteed in grapeseed oil and finished off in the oven.

He screamed for 10-15 minutes yelling for "other food" and crying hysterically. We stayed calm and were all eating ourselves and he finally cuddled with me, calmed down, asked for his little table (which we keep in the family room). DH brought that into the kitchen and he sat down there and ate his sweet potato fries, asked for more, started to get upset but then said "I try" and ate 2 1/2 of the homemade nuggets!!!! And most of an applesauce pouch!!!! WOW!

[~*Nicole*~]

Yay!!! That  is amazing.

[Katet]

Marisa, I'm looking at it & thinking (as someone told me) you are looking at what he eats with a 21 centuary "adult" attitude, if you actually looked at it with a '1900's child attitude, you'd be stoked. Food that is out of season & available all the time really does play into why adults have issues with what children eat.

My DS1 only really became a "good" eater at around 7yo & DS2 is slowly getting there.
I've really noticed that they go off certain foods - apples normally loved are out of favour... they aren't in season. & these days it is really hard to work out what is in season & what isn't & even if it is "apple season" are they this seaon's or last year's cool room stock?

The BEST thing we ever did was 5 things on the plate, a mix of what will be eaten, sometimes eaten & new foods... these days it is 4 things must be eaten before seconds of a favourite are choosen.

One new food a month is my goal & has been for about 4 years (DS1 is 8.5yo) & we actually do better than that these days as I have a "new food night" where they are expected to try the new food (or food cooked differently) & you know what I have a child who wouldn't eat fish, who now asks me when we are next having fish. We can do the new food being "forced"  because they are older, but seriously I think it took 500 attempts before DS1 tried cauliflower & now he loves it... yet only about 10 for roasted Beetroot (something I refused to eat until I was 40 LOL)

Mine are also older but last year I sat them down with the menu plan & they had 2 "pass outs" where they could have plain pasta or scrambled eggs when say DH & I were having a curry, but these days DS1 eats the curry (sadly I've had to make it milder) & I'm hoping that by 8.5yo Ds2 will do the same.

Just some thoughts from someone who had a 2yo who ate no more than 20 foods.... will even eat Pizza at a party if that is all that is on offer & he is hungry even if he doesn't really like it KWIM.

[Mom to M&M]

Hi Kate - always good to hear from you! BTW, I'm Karen (Marisa is my daughter).

I totally hear what you are saying. And I agree to some point BUT I am still upset about the complete and total lack of any fresh fruit or veggies (other than what's blended into his "juice" daily and mixed in with some foods). Bananas are at least in season and he was off berries even in the summer, etc. But hopefully they start to come back slowly/eventually and I'm so happy to hear your kids are eating so well these days!

And thanks also Nicole, I was psyched!

[Katet]

Karen - sorry I knew that, brain not working after a crazy week.

I do think the thing that helped me most was not to expect too much too fast, to accept change would be slow, we still only have apples, bananas, grapes, pineapple, oranges, green beans, lettuce, cauliflower, beetroot, potatoes & corn here for DS1 & Ds2 doesn't have the pototoes, cauliflower or beetroot, but will eat peas.

[~Sara~]

Karen, that was awesome that he tried the new nuggets!  Really, so wonderful!  So, at least you know that on some level--when HE feels he's ready--that he understands the concept of trying new things and can be open to that.

I've been trying to be more laid back when A doesn't eat how I hoped he'd eat.  For example, I made a noodle casserole last night--he normally loves it...but he's on a no broccoli kick (even if it's super soft and smashed/mixed up so it's virtually tasteless).  Didn't eat much of the casserole.  I baked some rolls for each of us, and since DH and I were having them, I let him have his at the same time.  In the past, we've done "Eat X number of bites and then you can have it," which worked until about 5-6 months ago.  Trying to go with the "he gets what we're getting, no mentioning anything about it, etc." attitude.  Is that the right path to go down?

Kate, I really like the "Pass Out" idea!  Perhaps when A is older, that would be a good thing to use.