Support for dropping the nap part 12

[Truly Blessed]

But now he's getting a really decent stretch at night he is a different boy in the mornings

There aren't many bonuses during this transition so hurrah for that! x.

[K-JDA]

Hi All

We are in the final throes of nap dropping for my 3yr2mo and it is getting pretty messy! Just after your thoughts if you don't mind.

So we have got to the point where any form of sleep in the day is leading to a long time to fall asleep at bedtime (like over an hour then a v short night) and I posted on the main board and it was suggested to go CT with the nap. This is going ok and in the last week he has had no nap except one day at nursery when they gave him 1/2 hour as he was pooped.

My issue is that his nights have not lengthened beyond 11hrs (although better than 9 hrs when they gave him the 1/2hr nap the other day!!!) and so he is clearly very tired at this point as I feel he needs nearer 12 hours.

Last night I bought bedtime 15mins earlier to 6.45 but he woke at 5.55 so don't want to fall into the trap of early bed/early wake. My instinct is to stick to asleep for 7pm in the hope he will finally lengthen his night to 11.5/12 hours but in the meantime he is clearly pooped and his behaviour is of a very tired boy as he is crying at the smallest thing/got very shouty etc etc.

Just can't get a very short CN to work with nursery or granny to stave off very OT as they either let him have it at like 4.30/5 (!) and then can't wake him up so we end up with late to bed so think my only option is to keep on going with no nap and hope he gets used to the new routine. He is a touchy sleeper so OT is my major problem as he is sensitive to it.

Is this the right approach or should I be trying something else?

Thanks!

[KatyBee]

Hi K-JDA - I personally really wouldn't give up on the early bedtimes just yet, I would always try something like that for 3-5 days to really give it a chance to work, especially if his wake up time was  before 6am. When my son is up that early, I try not to let his total day length go beyond 12/12.5 hours with no nap - as otherwise that is almost guaranteed OT and a rough night. If you stick to a 7pm BT or even 6:45pm that is a really long day for a little one.

My son (27mo) only slept 8-10 hrs when he was taking his nap & since he dropped it 2 weeks ago his nights have gradually (but not instantly!) lengthened. I was hoping to stick to a 7pm bedtime like you, as he is such a notorious early riser, but he either had NWs or was up for the day at 5:30am  but as we have moved BT back depending on the length of his day, not the clock (so BT was 6:30pm last night & I had to be VERY brave to do that, believe me!!) he is finally sleeping 12 hour stretches.... in fact after the 6:30pm BT last night he didn't wake until 6:45am this morning  .... he has NEVER slept that long in his life!!

It may be that your son will only ever do 11/11hr15 mins overnight, maybe that is naturally the amount he needs and if so you can always revert back to the later BT after giving the EBT a decent shot. But your instincts are currently telling you that he needs more and I think if you can give a routine a shot that is based on day length rather than the clock, you might just find it works. If things become disastrous and he get up crazy early then just do a nap one day which will push BT later and go from there.....

[K-JDA]

Ok yeah think you might be right. Had 2 really bad nights - which we have not had before. Wake up this morning was 7.30am after a 2 hr NW last night so will get him asleep by 7 tonight then hope we can get into a good run of longer nights and stick to a 12/12.5hr day. This sleep transition sucks!

[cath~]

Hello,

Joining in here as I fear our napping days are numbered

DD1 stopped napping a couple of months after turning 2 so it's not really that surprising.

She's only doing 10hr or so nights though (due to nap, I think, as there's no signs of OT) so it's tricky.  With too long a nap her BT gets too late for DD1 as well.  I really want DD2 asleep by 7.30 latest so that I can do stories with DD1 and leave her by 7.45 if needed (although usually she's OK til 8pm).  I don't want to bring BT fwd that much tho or WU is too early!  7.30 BT seems about OK ATM.  It's a compromise at both ends though!

Anyway, at home DD2 is doing about a 30-40 min nap (capped) but she is VERY grumpy when woken.  It can take her 30 mins or so to come round (and then she's fine) but she can get really upset before then and demands "more nap!!".  She took her sleeping bag and ran off and hid behind the curtains with it the other day. She doesn't want cuddles.  Just gets upset and wants to be left alone (to nap ).  She's at nursery 2-3 days/week (3/week from Jan) and they don't have any trouble waking her (at 45 mins).  Nap is slightly earlier there though so maybe she's happier to wake from an early nap as she's less tired..?  Trouble is, I'm not sure she'd go down for an earlier nap at home!

If we're out then I just let her have her nap around lunchtime/early afternoon in the car, and then she's fine to wake up.  It's just if she naps in her cot that we have a problem.  I'd rather not give up on cot naps altogether if I can help it (it's good to keep them as an option) but I'm finding her heartbreaking cries of "more nap!" and how upset she's getting difficult to take

Any suggestions for helping her wake up more happily at home???

How is everyone else on this thread doing?

[cath~]

My son (27mo) only slept 8-10 hrs when he was taking his nap & since he dropped it 2 weeks ago his nights have gradually (but not instantly!) lengthened.

that is interesting and reassuring to hear

how long was his nap before you dropped it? and what time was BT?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Cath,

Well as you may know it was a long and drawn out process for S but I didn't have another one in the mix. WRT capping and him being grumpy upon being woken, yes I do think she would be happier IF you can get her down for an earlier nap. But in addition I used to keep DS 'treats for him for when he woke. I would have his favourite TV programme already playing and 'Haribo' jellies in a bowl waiting lol, it did make a difference, as he was not happy either (when he napped that is!) It all depends on whether she is happier with a capped nap and a shorter night, or the chance of a longer night without the nap? I wonder if you could push her through maybe 2 days no nap and then she would likely have an earlier nap on day 3? It may also give you a chance to see if she would pull a long night or not. Is it possible for you to wake her earlier than DD2 in the morning in order to achieve an earlier longer nap (I know this would be a killer too, but maybe the lesser of 2 evils in order to achieve a nap and a decent BT along with DD1) I hope something here helps.

HUGS.x.

[Scottishmummy]

Can I join too?

DS is 2yrs9months.  He has been slowly transitioning to dropping the nap since he turned 2, with it gradually getting later & shorter. His routine looks like this right now:

WU: usually calls us between 6.30-7 but may be awake earlier & lying in his cot
Nap: in cot with a fight at 2pm.  Asleep when I go in at 3pm, often takes 15-30mins to wake him & get him up, then tired until 3.45/4pm
Bedtime: 7.30 but not sure when he actually goes to sleep, hear him chatting for a while

He seems tired and grumpy a lot of the time, except around nap & bedtime when he suddenly gets a burst of energy and is running around his room, wanting to play with all his toys, won't focus on wi d down stories then is cross about going into his cot and shouts "let me out!!"

I'm not sure whether the nap is a help or a hindrance to getting him enough sleep. He is reluctant to go down but then does quieten & sleep quite quickly but is hard to wake & over energetic at bedtime. On days he misses it or only naps a short time though, he is absolutely exhausted & then had a tiredness hangover for a day or 2 afterwards, so maybe still needs it? 

I have a 2month old too & we're struggling to get DS to bed early if he hasn't napped/only had v short nap as her bedtime is before his.  I'm finding it hard juggling 2 at v different stages with competing needs & who are both fighting naps at times.  At times I think it would be easier if DS stopped napping so I only had to do DD's sleep but then I need the break & I think DS needs the rest too.  He's awful without enough sleep.

[cath~]

Hi Scottish mummy

Just a quick thought (I'll be back later to reply to your v helpful post TB ), could you set him up for quiet time in his room eg with audio books/relaxing music/picture books... Maybe works some snuggly cushions and blankets.. And he can nap if he wants to or if not chill out for a bit (and give you a break!). Dyt he'd go for that?

[Scottishmummy]

I always assumed he just wouldn't sleep that way at all as too many distractions.  Although a "textbook" toddler in many ways, he's always been "spirited/touchy" about sleep & needed good WD, complete darkness & to be in his cot to sleep in the house. 

But worth a try as that sounds easier than the daily nap battle with him. He's at nursery tomorrow but I'll start trying it on Fri to give a good 4 days trying it with me before he's with my mum on Tues.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Scottishmummy Just posting this link in case you haven't spotted it on the sleep board.

The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

x.

[Scottishmummy]

Thank you Truly Blessed. I had read it but wasn't sure if DS would go for any of the alternative options for nap refusers. Interestingly today he chose to have wind down (stories while he is snuggled under his duvet) on the sofa in our living room. He then happily let me close curtains, turn off the lights & put on his "sleepy music" and took a nap on the sofa without any fuss. He was in living room 2-3pm and just awake when I went in so I think he had about 45mins by time he got to sleep.

So the alternative place for a nap worked ... For today... Will see how long it is until the novelty wears off!

[Truly Blessed]

That's great news Scottish Mummy. TBH if you have the time to give it a go you have nothing to lose. I think for many of us it gets to the point where the LO's can feel the great expectations of us desperately wanting them to nap lol. This approach takes the pressure off. Hope it works more than once x.

[Scottishmummy]

We've been really busy over the holidays, out & about & out of routine, which has led to DS having 4 NNDs in a row. We've been compensating with EBT & DS has been doing a 12-13hr night & managing ok on that. We offered him quiet time today & he didn't sleep, although he did rest & coped with rest of day.  In some ways he's actually better for not napping as the nap was giving us an afternoon of grumpy grogginess after we got him up, a shorter night & a build up of tiredness.

So now I wonder if the nap has gone & the long nights are compensating to point he's not tired enough to sleep, or whether Xmas excitement is keeping him going & he'll crash next week.

I'll continue to offer quiet time in the afternoon & EBT on NNDs and see what happens

[Skadiver13]

I'm wondering the same. Some days he'll pull 12.5hr night if I get him to bed early but then the other night he pulled 11hrs on a nnd. He'd definitely hating getting woken up from his nap early and is grump for a good hour after. I know some days he still needs a nap as he's yawning by 10/11, and others he doesn't really need it at all but will still take it if offered.