1-0 no idea need help

[jessmum46]

No problem hun, I can only guess what might work . You were there and I'm sure you made the right decision.  Hoping the night goes well xxx

[jessmum46]

Please tell us a bit more about his NWs, usually around 4.30am?
How does he start the NW? shout/cry/snuffling around quietly then building to more noise/ screaming instantly???
Is there anything, anything you can think of which could be waking him? heating turning on or off, traffic noise, neighbours getting up for work, a local bread delivery truck rolling by outside?? Anything at all?
What exactly do you do during the NW and how does he respond?

Also just wanted to highlight this and ask again.  I think knowing what his NWs are like and exactly how you respond could well hold the key to getting rid of them xx

[Straffles]

Well we got another 8.5 hr night

Is this normal on this transition?

From what I've read people seem worried when they get 11hrs of a nnd and 10.5 off an Nd.

I have nnd with 10hrs and Nd with 8.5-9

[jessmum46]

Again hun, 8.5-9h is or should be a night waking, not the start of the day. I'm sorry it's tough though Please can you try to answer Creations questions that I copied above, it's really difficult to help you without the full picture xx

[Straffles]

Yes I will try it will take time!

All I know ATM is that if the routine is right he goes back to sleep.

[kaipooi]

I honestly believe the crux of the problem is the NWs not the routine. Especially if you said that he has always had night wakes. So agree that more information is needed on his NWs to explore that route. If you have tried and changed all you can on his routine and it is still not working, perhaps it is time to look at something else.

[creations]

Stopping by with a hug.
It seems he gets more total sleep without the nap so although you are worried about going into NNDs from short nights it does seem like the no naps are the way forwards. he had a couple of really long nights followed by a shorter one which isn't out of the ordinary.

[Straffles]

Thank creations x

Yes I think we have to go ct but am afraid to do an nnd if he's awake at 5 and up before 6.30.

Afraid he will be unmanageable during the day, or by 5 say.

Would you go ebt if we was losing it that early?

I'm so tired without my catnap so it's hard.

Also afraid to do this over Xmas cos all you guys will be busy

[Straffles]

Btw we had 8pm-6.35 last night so are going for our longest nnd yet.

If he simply won't rest til 6.30am on ct can you opt for a Nd or is it really best to stay with nnd? I mean in terms of his ability to cope with the day?

He's been happy and engaged in the longer nds. Also pretty good on nnds too. Until bt or just before bt. I've never been able to tell when he's tired until he cracks.

[Straffles]

Sorry, I have another question

What if he cracks early in the day? Wd you offer a 15-20 min or a normal 45 or an uncapped nap?

[Aishi]

(((Hugs))) hon. I'm sorry things are still so stressful for you. Iiwm and from what you've said about benjis sleep needs I would just stick with the nnds ct as clearly any sort of nap affects night sleep. By sticking with nnds you will get peace of mind knowing what your plan is and B will get consistency so will hopefully self regulate sooner.

Re your other questions. Wrt to waiting till 6.30 I think pps answered that you need to ensure it by treating any waking before 6.30 as nws. And just be firm and consistent until it is wu time. If he's struggling to cope with the day I would do 30 min earlier for bt from your set bt but no more and just have a quiet low key day. Again I'm basing this on what you've said about B (it wouldn't work with my dd who is hsn) so I hope it helps to reassure you that you do know what B needs you just need to trust your MI and be consistent to help him get through the transition quicker. I know you've heard this before but ot is inevitable during these periods and no amount of tweaking is going to get rid of it totally yk?

Hope you can relax a bit and enjoy the holidays x

[creations]

Also afraid to do this over Xmas cos all you guys will be busy

Honey you have to do 'something' over Xmas whether we are here or not yk? Whether you stick with the plan of no nap or whether you give him a short nap, whatever it is you can do it, you really can. 
Whilst I can't imagine us all being on hand throughout Christmas day it's not really going to be much different from what you've dealt with so far. After all it is you that's with Benji, you're his Mummy
Try not to see Christmas as some long period where you are going to be left alone. Mods tend to try to check in over the festive period even if only briefly - perhaps not Xmas day - it's not weeks without support.

Can you tell us about the NWs please?

[jessmum46]

Dropping by with a hug for today x

[Straffles]

Sorry just on phone got to be quick

Benji slept only 10.5hrs after 2nd nnd. First night was almost 11.5.

If this is really right for him, why on earth wd he sleep such a short night right at the start of ct?

What if it's wrong I have kept on asking myself - how would I know? What if, like almost all kids I know irl, he needs to nap til he's 4 or more and I've just done the wrong thing? Would his inability to sleep a decent night without a nap be the sign? Or do I carry on blindly refusing him the nap, damaging him?

[Buttonbobs]

More hugs from me honey.

I don't think you draw conclusions from just two NNDs in a row lovely. Have you put any thoughts together to answer our questions about how you deal with those NWs? I really feel this is the key to helping Benji with his sleep.