1-0 no idea need help

[mycatmonet]

Hope you are having a good day, straffles!
I love our 7pm bt. It was so freeing for me going to set bt. No dilemma about it, you just *know* when bt will be. I'd recomnend a 7pm bt for sure. Too early and it's so hot and bright still, at least by 7 it is starting to feel like night time, yk? Especially in summer.
Does benji ever ask to go to bed/tell you he is tired?

[Straffles]

Hi mycat

No Benji shows no awareness of what it means to be tired. He's very talkative and switched on but just blanks us whenever we talk about sleep related stuff. Until the gro click - that seems to have sparked his imagination.

I'm afraid to do a 7pm bt tbh.

Can't get my head around having therefore to enforce 7am as wu time.

But if I pd tonight at 6.30, afraid it's too early and may perpetuate ew.

Still, my partner leaves for work at 6.30, so I don't think either of us wants him to miss Benji....and to be honest, the earlier he goes to bed, the earlier I can go to bed which is good.

I guess whatever happens tonight, I won't know how to interpret it or know whether the bt us right or not?!?

[jessmum46]

7pm bt doesn't mean you have to enforce 7am as WU.  Be realistic about it, Benji is probably not going to do 12h nights.  So if 6am is a realistic time to keep him in his room to at the moment, set gro clock for then.  Once he can consistently rest until 6am, move it slowly forward to desired WU time.  Set BT at whatever time suits you. I would do 6.30pm. That allows an 11.5h night until gro clock on.  Once he is more used to resting and waiting or his clock you could move it to 6.30am, he may still only sleep 11.5h but may be happier resting until the later time once he has grasped the concept. 

J goes to bed at 6.30pm.  Clock on for 6.40am because that suits us and gives us time to get up before she does.  She is often awake before but will happily rest/chatter until lights on x

[Straffles]

I don't think I want him to be doing 11.5hr days though jessmum!

Anyway we are on our 2nd nnd. 11.5 hrs last night and I know I can't expect that.

I'm pretty whacked so we gave started watching movies...

I do t know what to expect tbh

[Buttonbobs]

Try not to expect anything honey, hard as that is I know. 11.5 hours is great! one step at a time lovely, here to support you xx

[jessmum46]

I don't think I want him to be doing 11.5hr days though jessmum!

Sorry I don't understand this?

[creations]

11.5 hrs last night

Is this how long he slept? That's great

[Straffles]

Oh dear that 11.5 was a typo.

I meant I don't want Benji to be doing 12.5 hr days jessmum from eg 6.:0wu - 7bt

Also the first nnd night was 12.25 hrs. Restless wakeful nws around midnight then 4.45am on and off til he woke 6.55

Super long night last night and he's still asleep at 7am right now. Big nws similar to previous night.

So does bt stay at 6.30??

[creations]

hey

Sorry I don't understand all you put in the last post so can't comment properly.

What I see though is 2 options
1. BT 7pm, gro clock set to 6.30am (allowing 11.5hr night, this sticks with the time you have been keeping him in his room until)
or
2. BT 6.30pm, gro clock set to 6am (allowing 11.5hr night)

I have no preference personally but based on the fact you like to keep him in his room until 6.30am maybe go with option 1, also based on him still being asleep at 7am means he only has 12hrs day to reach BT.  But really it's your choice.  If he's doing longer nights now (sorry I really can't tell properly from what you've posted) you may prefer to stay with the 6.30pm BT.
x

[Straffles]

Yes creations he's slept two 12hr+ nights in a row.

Does this mean he's settling and I should stick with the same bt? Or as you say push him to 7pm bt.

This 11.5 hr night is confusing me cos it means jumping from an 11.5 hr day to a 12hr day.

I don't know why I wd push or change bt but obviously am worried that if I stick with a 6.30bt his nights will get short and he won't resettle at the ew.

I guess question is have I set bt at 6.30 and need to stay with that or am I still trying to work out where bt shd be.

12+hr nights seem excellent to me but obviously we have the long nws. We always have had nws and ews though. Argj

[creations]

If he's done 2 12hr+ nights in a row I would stay with BT where it is 6.30pm. For now anyway. Let's just keep going on there an see where he gets over the next several days or longer.

This 11.5 hr night is confusing me cos it means jumping from an 11.5 hr day to a 12hr day.

Lots only do an 11.5hr night and if it's going to get longer it can take some time to get there. So if 11.5hr night is what he needs or what he can do your plan needs to put those 11.5hrs at a suitable time of night (hence the 7pm-6.30am or 6.30pm - 6.00am).  And yes that can mean jumping to a longer day, that's just how it is, we have to have 24hrs in the day as that's the clock we run on.  The longer day can actually bring on a longer night so it's not always a bad thing yk?
I know it is confusing, for all of us when we go through it, but even more so when you are as tired as you are.  Please please take the full advantage of the time he sleeps and sleep yourself.

Please tell us a bit more about his NWs, usually around 4.30am?
How does he start the NW? shout/cry/snuffling around quietly then building to more noise/ screaming instantly???
Is there anything, anything you can think of which could be waking him? heating turning on or off, traffic noise, neighbours getting up for work, a local bread delivery truck rolling by outside?? Anything at all?
What exactly do you do during the NW and how does he respond?

[jessmum46]

I agree I would also keep bt at 6.30pm.  He could have an 11.5h night to 6am then rest until 6.30am if that's what you want.  If he sleeps in more that is great, he is learning to regulate.

As I have said before J is going to bed at 6.30pm and has for the past six months or more since nap dropping.  She stays in her room until 6.40am even if not asleep until then every day.  I don't think a 6.30pm bt in itself will cause EWs. 

I don't understand the comment about not wanting him to have 12.5h days.  If he's doing 11.5h nights that's totally reasonable.  Sorry, not sure what the issue is here?

[Straffles]

Please help guys.

3rd nnd in a row, first two nights 12+ hrs. Last night:

Bt 6.50
Nws 11-11.45 very awake
Wu 5am
Managed to keep him resting but he was awake and so I got him up at 6.20
He's effectively slept 9hrs ons.

What does this mean?
What do I do today?
I can't possibly do a nnd off a 9/10hr night plus getting up before 6.30 set wu.
But if he has a nap won't it mess things up too?
He's due to go swimming with friends this am. On a 10hr max sleep total should I just try and keep him at home all day? He has to have nap diesnt he?

Pkease help

[jessmum46]

No. Do a NND. Stick with it hun. If he happens to crash somewhere allow 15-20 mins and set BT x

[Straffles]

Hey jessmum we did a nap and are heading for normal bt :-/