WEANING thread #2... Come share experiences and offer support

[Khalam's Mama]

I forgot to ask how it is going last few days?

[*Ali*]

I forgot to ask how it is going last few days?

Me? He is still feeding a few minutes at bt. He is sick with a virus I think right now so we'll see if he still only takes a few mins ins minute wheni feed him.

[Shiv52]

Poor wee man.  Hope he's better soon x

[Baby Georgia]

Hi all,

I'm currently weaning my DD from breast to bottle feeding, and have suddenly realised that I feel incredibly guilty. I've always been extremely fortunate to have found BF very straightforward and so have EBF for just over five months.

I always had six months as a final benchmark for BF, but thought I'd see how it all turned out. However it went so well that now that before i know it, that time is nearly here. When my LO turned five months, I started swapping a breastfeed for a bottle every few days, and now only the first and last feeds of the day are breast and the middle two bottle.

For the first few days, my supply seemed to dwindle accordingly, but yesterday and today I've been really engorged and painful. I'm sure my hormones must be doing backflips too, which isn't helping, but I've realised I feel guilty for trying to put my baby onto a bottle when she's prefectly happy on the breast. I feel like I'm doing bad by her for forcing her off me, just because I've decided it's time and now not convenient.

I do feel like it's the right time in my mind, and am happy with the amount of time I've managed to feed her. I also feel excited to be introducing the bottle to her, as it means she's growing and becoming more independent. However, I do at the same time feel a saddness about it all, and I've now realised that I feel incredibly guilty and selfish to draw a line under this wonderful experience that is so good for her, just because I decided it's time.

It didn't help today that my DD woke up earlier today, and when she became hungry she started crying and I was no longer able to feed her immediately. Well, I actually think it was harder because I WAS able to feed her and stop her crying, but I was choosing not too. There I was almost bursting with milk and choosing to let my DD cry while I made up a bottle .

Anyway, not sure what anyone can say to help, but I really just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening! xxx

[Fiver]

Just wanted to offer some *hugs* - I think whenever a BF relationship ends there is some degree of feeling of loss, so the emotions you're feeling are completely normal.

[*Ali*]

BG well done for EBF for almost 6mo. I agree that whatever time you choose to wean there will still be feelings of guilt and loss. I feel them now I'm weaning DS1 even though he is 26mo and I have a 6mo I am EBF as well. To be honest I have no reason to wean him except his age and that I want some peace from BFing. You have given your LO a great, healthy start to life that will continue to benefit her after you have weaned. When I have weaned various feeds I found my supply took around a week to even out.

Tonight Cadan said he didn't want the BF at BT is ran off upstairs with Daddy chasing him to get ready for stories and bed. He is up there now. I just hope he doesn't ask for it in a minute and if he does that I can distract him without tears. FX.

[Khalam's Mama]

Wow that is good Ali. Hope he forgets soon. I am jealous and feel badly that weaning ds 1 brought tears for he and I. I wish I had done it more slowly like you have and not as a gut reaction to feeling bad after ds2 birth.
Well done on 5m BG. Do what your heart tells you.

[*Ali*]

Result! He didn't even mention it and just let me put him in bed and DH and I tucked him in together. DH suggested we shouldn't let him have it again now but if he asks tomorrow I think I'll just see if he does it on his own. I'd hate to  see him cry. I'm such a wuss! LOL. DH will just go along with whatever I want, says it doesn't matter to him either way.
Don't worry KM. You did what was right for your family at the time. This way might not have even worked for you guys and he'd still be supping now! Hehe.

[Khalam's Mama]

Omg I would cry

[Baby Georgia]

Thanks very much for your words, feeling much better (and less sore!) today. Ali - that's great news about your LO, you must have been very relieved!

[*Ali*]

Glad you're feeling better BG.

Ok night two of no BT feed. Tonight I didn't offer and he happily went upstairs to do the BTR with DH. He did ask for booby time just as I was about to put him in bed but I just said "no we don't have booby time after you've brushed your teeth, it's sleepy time now" and DH quickly distracted him with an offer to shut the bedroom door in DH's face (an affectionate game we play at BT) and all was forgotten. Hurray!

Now I feel that I should keep distracting until he forgets. But part of me feels disappointed that i didn't know my last feed was the last one and really enjoy it. I actually feel quite sad and teary but happy at the same time. It's so emotional. It is something Cadan and I have shared for so long it seems strange to think we won't have that any more but I can't keep him a baby forever I suppose. I'll have to muscle in on the BTR so I can get some cuddles during story time but that is the only time he and DH spend together during the week because Dh gets home from work so late so I'll have to see how that would work. Thanks for your support ladies.

[Khalam's Mama]

Well done Ali. I felt the same about weaning k. There will be lots more cuddled for you to share. It is actually nice to know k cuddled because he wants mummy rather than just using me for my Boobs!

[Shiv52]

Thanks very much for your words, feeling much better (and less sore!) today.

{{{hugs}}} Well done on feeding for so long and giving your LO such a great start xx

Ali...that is amazing progress.  I agree with the distraction at bedtime now.  I know what you mean about it being so emotional.  I weaned Maeve at 21 months ish when i was pregnant with Rosa and I was glad to be done but sad at the same time.  There will be plenty of time for cuddles at other times xx {{{hugs}}}

KM..{{{hugs}}}

[badpixie]

Hello everyone! Feeling a bit freaked out at the prospect of weaning F next month. I thought I'd be happy to get it over with but the thought is upsetting me a bit. At the moment he is sick so I'm feeding on demand, which is quite a lot as he's refusing most food and water. I've been trying to cut out feed gradually, we were down to 4 a day, but now its 5 again (before he got sick, its near to 8 at the moment!) How the heck am I gonna wean him in a month when instead of reducing feeds we are increasing them! Feeling a little paniccy and overwhelmed at the prospect.

My other niggle is that he has ezcema which i'm fairly confident is triggered by soya and/or cow dairy. Its finally cleared up since i took these out of his diet. At the moment this is easy because he can get his dairy from me. What will i do when I wean him?

sorry about this freak out, it'll probably seem a lot easier when he's better, but at the moment I'm not sure how I can do it!  Or if I really want to. Especially as he's so dependant on me at this moment. Also it so good to be able to bf through sickness, i will miss it when its gone. But I feel have to get my body and mind back to go back to my studies. Completely know how you were feeling baby georgia, the guilt and mixed up feelings. How's it all going with you now?

[*Ali*]

Hugs Hayley. If you decide you want to wait another month and see how you feel about weaning then perhaps you will feel different. Are you eating dairy? If so he's still getting the milk and soya proteins from your breast milk so maybe he can handle some. Maybe you should post on and check out the food allergy board for advice on alternatives to dairy.
Are your feeds at regular points in your routine? Is he close to or on one nap yet? I found we dropped from 4 to 3 feeds naturally when we moved to one nap at 12mo since he only expected it after Wu. Then I just stopped offering after the nap and had some other food or drink ready to distract him.