just can't get it right - part 3!

[~inbalance~]

7:30 bedtime would be 2hrs 45mins A time before bed....which I don't think is too little IF the total day sleep wasn't good.  But even so, you could do 7:45 which would be 3hrs A time.  However, if H is taking a long time to go to sleep, you have to take that into account.  When T was taking 30mins to get to sleep, I tried to start putting him down 30mins BEFORE I actually wanted him to sleep, otherwise he was just getting more and more OT.

How is H's day sleep looking?  What is his total sleep?  I know he is up early and in bed late, but if you still think he is UT at night then I think a 12 hr day (or 13 if that's more reasonable) but with limited day sleep might be better than longer naps and a later bedtime.  However, this is coming from the person who just can't figure sleep out to save her life!!   

Getting up in the middle of the night and crawling around I think is one of two things:  UT, or just obsessed with practicing which is leading to OT hence the EWs, does that make sense?  But you said he slept well for the most part of last night, the biggest problems being he is going to bed late and waking up early thus not getting enough night sleep.

Oh my, I'm running my head in circles, please slap me if I'm not making any sense!!!   

Tristan went down with absolutely NO fussing tonight!     I was amazed, he did 4hrs A before bed on a 40min pm nap, please oh please don't let that lead to NWs or EWs!  (it didn't last night....).  He was cranky as I was putting him in his sleep sack and I thought it was going to be tough getting him down, but after I BF it was as if he wanted to be in bed, not a peep. 

I wonder if he is going through a GS, he has been BFing like a fiend today!

Well, hope everyone has a good night!  I'm trying out a meatball recipe for T tonight, I'll let you know how they turn out!! 

[aimeeL]

Funny, Martina, because L's appetite picked up this afternoon, too!  Bfed for 22 minutes! this afternoon and then ate a decent amount of solids for dinner... Didn't bf much at bt, but could be because she was so full...

I didn't give her Tylenol this evening, and she's fussed a little more than she has in the past wk going down... she looks asleep now, though, so hopefully it'll last.  Otherwise - not sure if I should give Tylenol still??? - or just let it go?  She's such a happy baby, it's hard to know if she's in pain...

We DO have internet at the ILs - my goodness, I would just die if they didn't!!  So I can stay up to date while down there...

Ew - sorry about the possibility of chicken pox!  My mom came down with shingles the other day - had no idea that was the same strain as chicken pox until my ped brother warned me...

Well, I've been fretting AD NAUSEUM - Alyssa knows from the other thread! - about this trip and the time zone change and staying on routine, etc, etc, etc... we start off with a wonderful 5 a.m. departure tomorrow (that's when we have to leave home... flight leaves a couple hours later) and I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that she'll sleep in the car on the way over, but L does NOT generally sleep in the car... so we'll see what happens.. Wish me luck - I'm feeling so anxious about this trip... so stressed about her routine.. I'm trying to let it go and just relax, but it's hard... 

L said "da-da" for a day...and then switched to "ma-ma" for like a month... but now we're back to da-da...

What cute ideas for father's day... I think I might try to do handprints on his card... we'll see.

Have a good night everyone!

[clazzat]

Alyssa - have you considered having set bedtimes and set wake times for a bit, and watching A times in between?  If you want H to go to bed at 7.30, then perhaps you should put him down then regardless of how the day has gone to set his bodyclock for 7.30 bedtime, and then work on the naps after that.

We don't have any words here - no mamas or dadas!  We do have a very cute 'heh, heh, heh' when she gets to the table and finds that there are fun things on it that she doesn't think she's supposed to have (like the hair tie she is currently chewing on!).  M didn't say very much at this stage either, although my baby book says that she started saying teddy and duck at about 10.5 months - E is going to have to hurry up! 

We did some footprint mugs - some for us and one for each of the godparents - which were good fun and a really nice thing to have.

(((hugs))) Aimee - I found myself fretting a lot about our trip.  TBH I think that the best thing you can do is preserve the routine where you can and don't stress about it where you can't.  We're here to help you get back on track afterwards!

E had a reasonably good night - although she woke at 9.50 and screamed, then mantra'ed for about 15 mins.  I went in when she started crying harder again and she was sitting up at the wrong end of her cot.  I lay her down and prepared myself for a long session of wiwo but I didn't hear another peep from her until 4.30!  Slept until 6.20 again, and M has only just woken (7am) so much better than yesterday.  E is trying to help me type this, though - time to give her her breakfast.

Hope everyone's nights have been peaceful.
Cx

[*Liz*]

2h 45 might be too short - but it might not. I realised a little while ago it is easy to reduce the A a bit and check for OT whereas to extend the A you end up having to restructure the whole day. So what I do now is try shortening first for a few days, and if it doesn't help or gets worse you know you need to lengthen. For me bedtimes past 7.30pm just DO NOT help. He wakes between 6 and 7 regardless, so just leads to an even shorter night. I think I would have just put him to bed at the correct time on the clock to see what happened. What did you do? I'm wary of the teething as well - J drops his A so much when it is tough. I've just had to put him down really early this morning as he just wouldn't stop crying  .

My night wasn't too bad - fell asleep at about 7.20pm - woke at 4am for a quick dilute feed, then woke for the day at 6.05am. I got him up at 6.35am, but he has been JUST AWFUL since then. Moaning, fussing, ate nothing at breakfast and then decided to just cry and cry. So filled him up with painkillers and put him in bed. I'm suprised he is so tired and it might just be the teeth. I'm prob going to get a UT nap as he went down at 9.15am which would normally be WAY too early. But he went to sleep quickly enough and at least my ears will get 40 mins rest.

J is all about the ba ba ba ba ba ba boooo at the moment. He does say da da and has just started mum mum mum this week - but they are not in context - just noises! He does have one word I think  he is trying to say bird. Its just b b - but he is looking all around at the sky when he is saying it and making the sign at the same time. He also looks out of the window and does the same. It just seems a bit early for it to be real! Maybe he just likes the fact that we all get excited when he does it and it is actually a mimic thing. I think I need to work on a new thing and see if he can pick it up.

Looks like another looong day round here. We were going to go swimming - but I don't think he is up to it!!

[~inbalance~]

Hello!     Hope everyone had a good night.  Ours wasn't great.  The stupid dishwasher woke everyone up at 1am!  We usually set it to go on in the middle of the night, but DH didn't load it properly and the revolving piece was smacking against something and made a really loud banging noise.  Started all of us, especially poor Tristan who was just so upset.  Luckily he went back to sleep quickly after I fed him, but he did cry out about 15mins later for a min then back to sleep again.  I on the other hand tossed and turned for probably about an hour!  Don't know what that was about.     Then he was up again at 4, and we had an EW just after 6.  I left him and he was quiet off and on until 6:35.  I think it was a combo of OT before bed and the rude dishwasher disrupting sleep.  Hope it doesn't have a negative effect on things overall - I'm so paranoid about everything going to the dogs when things don't go right!!   

Liz - I have to agree with you that a later bedtime doesn't equate a later wakeup around here, just means T gets less sleep!  He too wakes up between 6-7 anyway.  Sorry J's fussy this morning, I hope he naps well and feels better when he wakes.    That's so cute that he's trying to say bird!  I don't think T is anywhere close to any real words, I'm still not sure if he knows 'mama' is me!!

Clare - glad your night was pretty good and that M is doing a little better today.  Fingers crossed for no tantrums!   

Aimee - I agree, don't worry too too much about your trip.  When it comes to travelling with babies, you just have to go with the flow.  I've read that they adjust more easily to time changes than we do.  We too T to Cali in December, 3hrs difference and I don't even think he noticed!  Better to just try to stick to the routine if you can like Clare said, but enjoy the time with your family. 

I wonder if T is having a GS, cause I ended up feeding him twice last night but he did take rather large feeds, and this morning too.  I hope so!  Time to pack on a bit more weight before we're back to the doctor's so I don't have to get any more rude comments from the nurse!!

I think my meatball recipe was a success last night, now the test today will be if T eats them!  If not they're so yummy that DH and I will.     I'll have to let you know after lunch!

Alright, I should get cracking.  Happy Tuesday!! 

[hjrmom01]

Only got a second to post, have cleaning to do!  H's developmental nurse is coming by this morning to do his assessment so I have to pick the house up a big!!!  We had a SUPER night.  H ended up going to sleep about 7:45, put down at 7:40 practically asleep...poor thing.  Never heard a peep going down.  I heard him fuss about 10:30 but went right back to sleep.  I think he woke up around 6:45!!!  I know he was still sleeping at 6:30!  So, we had a super night!  Probably means a bad day and night tonight cuz I have to work 

Clare, glad you had a good night!  Aimee, hope L goes back to sleep in the car and you have a great trip!.  Liz, sorry about J having a fussy morning. Maybe a good nap will help.  Martina, let us know how the meatball recipe goes!  Sorry about the dishwasher...don't you hate things like that happening!?

[~inbalance~]

Yay super night H!!!  Sounds like things are looking up!     Hope your day goes well too.

We just finished breakfast which was fairly good.  I've just been offering such a variety of things that I think Tristan is probably getting enough despite eating less purees.  It's funny, I gave him apple puree today and he ate a little more than half of it before deciding he was done with it, but then proceeded to eat like 4 apple slices.     Clean sign he prefers the finger foods I think!  I'll still offer the purees as long as he's eating a little of it, but looks like we'll do more of the finger foods and see how it goes. 

The weather is just beautiful again today, so I think we're going to go play on the nice new grass in the backyard for a bit before naptime. 

[*Liz*]

Oh - I'm just soooo fed up today - I KNEW it was going to be a bad one and it is.

J slept for 1h 15 which is about normal for the am nap - but that only gets us to 10.35am - so a looong way until bedtime. He's such a miserable little fellow today, really moany, nothing will make him happy. Its prob just that horrid tooth.

Took his bottle well again but then threw the entire lot up 1h 30 later  . All over the floor, himself, myself, table and highchair. Had no lunch as a result either. I gave him a bit of milk before the nap as I'm sure he needs a good sleep - I just hope it doesn't make him sick. He's ended up having his afternoon nap at 13.40 - so unless its a very very good nap its going to be hard to get him to bedtime.

We've had quite a lot of these full volume throw ups lately - not sure why.

I'm just feeling like there are so many things J should be moving towards now but isn't. The solids are still a disaster and the window for introduction is closing so I think I'm in for the long haul with it now. He isn't very good with a cup, and therefore doesn't drink any water, and I have no idea how I'm going to start to reduce his bottle use. He doesn't try to hold his own bottle (he does push it away very well though  ). And no real progress towards crawling or moving. I know they all do it in their own time - but I can't even encourage it as if he is on his tummy too much he just gets sick, and he is getting more and more frustrated. I think SA is creeping in now as well as he is just less happy even if I am in the same room. I know all the things I am moaning about can be linked to his reflux. But that is just it really. I'm fed up of reflux. Its like it is ruining everything for him all of the time.

He would likely be better on more solids but I just can't get him on more solids as he won't take them. My HV wants me to cut his milk again and try that way - but what is the point - he will just wake at night for food instead.

It's nothing new - I'm just on a real downer now.

I'm off to finish cleaning up the vomit  .

[~inbalance~]

(((HUGS))) Liz, I'm so sorry you're having a down day.     I wish I knew some magical info about reflux that would help clear it up so J can get on with all those things, but I'm guessing you've exhausted every option.  Do you think maybe all the throw ups are maybe reflux acting up because of teething?  I thought I remembered a theory that teething causes reflux to flare up.  I really really hope he takes a good nap so at least he can be somewhat well rested.  This time is really tough, but I'm sure once it passes it will be long forgotten, and you'll have so much more to look forward to. 

Our am nap is not off to a good start, I think because he was up early this morning he is probably a little OT and is having a really hard time settling.  He keeps whining and crying, but not enough to make me go in there.  I hope his nap is ok too, I am so scared about spiralling down into another bad nap - bad night - OT rut.  When do things finally pan out??  Gosh, you think you got it and then a few days later it all goes to crap!!   

Sending ~happy baby~ and ~good nap~ vibes to J

[*Liz*]

Thanks Martina - it probably is all the teething TBH - you are right it is said to flare reflux (although the explanation makes NO sense - as lots of saliva would actually neutralise the stomach acid not make it more acid as saliva has a pH of 7-8 and the stomach 2-3 - but ANYWAY - bloody know it all doctors, hey  )

Its just sometimes you just end up on a real downer 

J just woke after 1h 5 mins SCREAMED and SCREAMED and brought up some horrible retching winds. Rubbing his eyes all the time throughout. I had to take him out the nursery to calm down - but tried putting him back to sleep and he seems to have gone back to sleep.

He's ill today isn't he? He has tummy ache etc.

The other thing he is doing is shaking his head from side to side. Its really odd. Is that one of those things they just realise they CAN do and therefore spend a little time doing? I wondered about ear ache - but if I do the same he laughs so I think it might be a game?! Not sure though.

[~inbalance~]

Liz - I think the head shaking is something new J keeps practicing.  Tristan has recently discovered his tongue and is always sticking it out or grabbing it and playing with it.  They are strange little beings.   

I am feeling somewhat down at the moment too.  I had been teetering on the edge of tears the last few days due to other things, but at least things with T had been going well, until last night/today....

Apparently I am not entitled to more than a few days of good naps and good nights    We are back into the same old same old it seems.  Gosh, just when I think I've got a handle on things and know what to do, Tristan changes all the rules on me!  Now when he wakes it's with the kind of cry that says "there's no way in hell I'm going back to sleep if you just leave me here".  Last night too...

Here I was stupid enough to think I'd figured it out, and he was good to leave him and he'd settle himself, but now it's like he needs me all over again!  Why does he keep changing!?  

Of course he woke after only 30mins, screaming.  But there was no way I was letting him fall back into the '30min naps and it's ok to get up' habit again.  So I APOP'd and rocked him until he was calm, put him back down and he's been somewhat quiet but it's been almost 10mins since I put him down and he's still wimpering ever few mins so I'm not very optimistic that he'll actually go back to sleep.  

I am so fearful of things going wrong again, battling the OT and the restless night and the short naps and dealing with a baby that just barely makes it by with enough sleep.  He was just finally started to not look tired all the time.

Just needed to vent a little...

[*Liz*]

You know what - I don't think APOPing the extension matters at all anymore. I mean he has the skills of independent sleep down now anyway. I just did exactly the same - walked around upstairs until he was calm and then put him back down again.

I'm sorry you are feeling down too  . I'm feeling really tearful as well. I thought it was 'that time of the month' but that has finished today. I don't think it is all J that is bugging me really. Its LIFE. Nothing in particular - just that life isn't quite what I want it to be and I don't know how to fix it. I'm dreading the return to work. Not because I don't like my job or because I can't leave J. Actually I think the odd day apart will help to refresh me a little - and I know my mum will take such good care of him. Its hard to explain really. Medics can just be such a bunch of stupid people, and I can't be bothered with it all. My DH came home last night (he's a surgeon) moaning about the administrators making a mess of the rota and askinghim to do a session because they are short shaffed when he is on a teaching afternoon. He can't miss teaching for a clinical session as he would be in breach of his training agreements. So he's all off on one saying how his boss phoned the admin people and told them to do their jobs properly and that they were 'no better than a simple secretary', and the admin people had made a formal complaint about his behaviour. I mean - of course they did - what a terrible way to speak to someone - and what a terrible way to think as well. Its just such arrogance. Admin people do make errors like this all the time - mainly because they don't really understand our systems - but all you have to do is explain and ask them to correct it. Oh, and take them a chocolate off the ward and apologise for messing up a job which must have taken them all day to try and sort out. I mean - it just doesn't matter who is a surgeon and who is an administrator. My DS really isn't like that at all - but he is a follower as are many of them. All day every day is like that, and I just don't want to spend all my time in that sort of environment. I'm not really making sense am I?

I hope your day cheers up as it goes along. Here are some ((hugs)) for you too. I'll send the tooth fairy to come have a word with Tristan (I know it isn't her job - but can't think of anyone better at the moment  )

[~inbalance~]

lol Liz - maybe the tooth fairy is the voice of reason these days 

I completely understand you not wanting to go back for that reason.  Sometimes it's not the job, but the politics involved.  People can make even the most wonderful jobs seem awful.  It always seems so much harder too once you've been away for awhile.  More (((HUGS))) for you.

Life has been making me edgy lately too.  There's all this crap with my mom, and while it doesn't bother me on a daily basis, it's always in the back of my mind that I will have to deal with her again at some point.  And I just don't want to, I want her to go away.  I would say I feel guilty thinking that way, but after all this time I can't even find the guilt anymore.  I really struggle with feeling guilty about NOT feeling guilty.

And then there's these issues with my so-called friends too.  I feel like everyone has just faded away, and now I keep second guessing if they're the bad friends or am I.  I'm getting paranoid, and sad too.  Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown and cried for a bit, then when T woke up early from his nap it made me even more upset and I was very short with him when he was whiny.

I have to say, thank god for DH.  I am so lucky that our life is great and we have eachother.  If I didn't have him I'd have nobody.  We've been talking for years about moving away from all this mess and starting over...we say it in joke but I think we really mean it sometimes.  A fresh start, you know?  All new people, new scenery.  If only we had the courage.

Well, Tristan ended up going back to sleep for 30 more mins.  Not great, but at least I didn't admit defeat the first time around.  I really hope it's enough to get him to 2, and if it is I really hope he naps well so I'm not stuck with very little naps and a very long A before bed again.

At least the sun is shining, right? 

[hjrmom01]

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to you both, Martina and Liz...sounds like you're having a rough day.  Martina, I agree with Liz, APOP at this point isn't that bad because Tristan DOES have the independent sleep down pat.  Once and a while I don't think is going to hurt him.  I know what you mean about being afraid of the spiraling OT cycle...trust me, I know!  We all have off days where we don't sleep as well, and babies are the same way.  I think if you give those nap times a few more days he'll be back to sleeping well.  Liz, it sounds like the teething is really making J's reflux worse.  Try not to stress about the solids for now or what the HV has to say.  You know your baby best and he'll catch up eventually. But you can't expect him to make leaps and bounds when he's in discomfort from reflux AND teething...poor baby.  Just keep coming back to vent, we'll be here to listen and offer lots of support and hugs.  

I'm not holding my breath for a great first nap either.  The nurse didn't leave until 10:50   So H didn't go down for nap 1 until almost 11.  Blessed child did well though, didn't start to get fussy until about 10:45.  I gave a quick sippy of milk, although only took 2.5 oz and then it was diaper change and up to bed.  Settled pretty quickly though.  I'm going to lay down on the couch and see if I can catch a snooze since I have to work tonight.  DH was going to get up at noon so I could sleep but he has his instructor coordinator exam today at 2 and then golf after that...so he'll be home around the time of H's bath...doesn't help me much!  So, my only chance for a nap is when H naps!  Fingers crossed.

I hope everyone's day gets a little brighter.  Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start if things go south today.  Lets try to look at the bright side and see the positives  

[*Liz*]

Oh I don't really expect leaps and bounds - just a little slow steady progress.

I'm going to sound really silly now - but its makes me feel sad hearing of all the great things that all your los can do and we still can't. I'm starting to feel like he is getting behind now. I know he will catch up eventually but it still makes me sad that it is impossible to control his reflux well enough for him to progress normally - rather than needing to catch up.

I think he might be able to sit up from lying now though - do they usually go from their tummy to hands and knees and then backwards a bit before finally getting on their bum? He has managed this once or twice  .

And the solids thing is really actually starting to worry me. All he will really eat are those stupid organix vegetable puffs - but they are supposed to be snack things. Oh, and pear puree  . Everything else is a one hit wonder. I'm worried that the window of opportunity for introducing all these things is starting to close.

The only thing Jacob has learnt to do lately is agree to take medications without a battle. How sad is that  . He just opens his mouth for the syringe like a little bird now.