Will W2S work for my 10month old?

[mom2elise]

Sigh.   Just had our one-year appointment with the doctor for DD.   She's 16lb 4oz... only 3 oz weight gain in 6 weeks.   Doctor asked if she was still getting up at night, and suggested that it was OK to just feed her once at night if she wakes.

She was up at 715 this am, and we didn't get home from the doctors until 1230... nursed and straight to nap (poor thing was so  tired, but remarkably, not as upset as I thought she'd be from the shots!)   The teeth are bugging her again, though.

So now, I guess I will modify the plan... still try to get her to fall asleep on her own (not nursing and not pinky-ing)... and nurse her only once at night, if/when she wakes, and try to get her back to sleep the other times if it hasn't been a reasonable time between wakings.   

Have you had any experience with this?   I thought the key to the sleep training was consistency?   

[*Ali*]

Hmm, well my DS2 is sleep trained in that he goes to sleep independently at naps and BT but I still feed him if he wakes in the early hours of the morning. If he wakes earlier in the night and doesn't settle easily with me lying him back down then I do pupd (PD). Personally I sleep trained at 8mo when we removed the woombie swaddle (he had been going down awake with a soother and the swaddle until shortly before that) and I only did the pupd in the day and if he woke within an hour of BT (as he started doing when we weaned the swaddle and he was teething too). At night I just BF him back to sleep, sometimes twice. It will take longer but I believe they do know the difference between NFs and settling to sleep in the first place. I wasn't dealing with a feed to sleep or suck to sleep prop though. He had lost interest in the soother a month earlier so I just stopped offering it. It was never a prop. I do actually think if you teach self soothing skills in the day then the NWs will decrease anyway.

[katie80]

I agree with Ali. I think you can still do it if you want to. I trained my DD at 5mo with PUPD to get rid of a paci prop. I only did it during the day and at bedtime and fed her at NWs. Granted, she only had a DF and one NF at the time (occasionally 2), but it didn't hinder her progress at all.

[mom2elise]

Just an update...we,re still nursing to sep, and nap.   Down to one nap a day.    She's spiked a fever in reaction to her MMR immunization and as barely eaten anything for several days now.    Wants nothing butvo nurse.   I expect this to pass in a few days.   

When she's feeling better, how do I break her very strong association of nursing with sleep?   Now, when she's tired, she pulls at my shirt!   I still want to nurse her before bed and nap, but it doesn't seem right to wake her if she falls asleep at the breast.   

The NW had been down to once a night, prior to the fever.   Although I only dd this once...I found it helpful to have DH sleep with the monitor so that I couldn't hear it unless she was all out crying...might try it again when she's feeling better

[katie80]

When she's feeling better, how do I break her very strong association of nursing with sleep?   Now, when she's tired, she pulls at my shirt!   I still want to nurse her before bed and nap, but it doesn't seem right to wake her if she falls asleep at the breast.   

Honestly, I'm not sure you can unless you don't allow it to happen.   I don't think waking her is the answer either, because she still has that initial nursing to sleep association.  If you want to continue nursing her before nap and bed, then you'll have to do it early enough to where she doesn't fall asleep on the breast.  For nap time, you could do it 30 min prior and then do a diaper change and your winddown.  For bedtime, you could nurse before putting on pjs and your winddown.

I just need to ask though, do you really want to break the habit?  It's ok if you don't, we're not going to be upset.   It sounds like she's doing fine, really with only that one NW and you felt like you still needed to feed her at that time anyway, right?  I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, if you want to break the habit we can still help, because it will eventually need to be broken.  But, if you're happy with how things are, then it's fine to leave it.

[mom2elise]

My friends daughter is 2 1/2, with a personality very much like my DD.    Sleep is a nightmare for them now, as she screams and cries for hours, is EW, refuses to nap....

I don't want to get to that point, but am afraid we are headed there if I don't get on top of this.    I don't want to make it worse by "breaking her trust" and letting her cry, and she is so very aware of everything now!  I have enough issues getting her to eat...I don't want bedtime to be a battle too.    I'm just concerned that the longer I leave the sleep issues, the harder it will be to break it!   

[katie80]

Yes, you are correct in that it likely will be more difficult down the road.  It's definitely a powerful example to see friends who are struggling with sleep.

The thing is though, you are NOT breaking her trust doing BW methods, specifically Gradual Withdrawal, or what I think you called the chair method previously.  She will cry, yes, and could put up quite a fight the first couple days, but she is doing it because it's a change, not because she can't trust you anymore.  I don't know about you, but I'm not always keen on change either. . If you stay consistent with your method and continue to pour on the love and cuddles throughout the day, she will still be as secure in your love (possibly even more, because you will go through it together) as she is now.  Consistency is key, and I'm guessing with that, the whole process can be over and done with in a couple weeks.