Support for Mum's of LO's 16-19months with sleep issues

[daisymelan]

Becky, that is funny stuff....  giving it to him until he's 12!  LOL

Last night was AWFUL!!!  These damn teeth are really getting to us.  The one that poked through has disappeared again.     It's so unfair.  Owen was up screaming for about 2 hours last night.  Nothing would settle him.  Finally dp brought him out in the livingroom and let him fall asleep on him.  Owen usually can only fall asleep in his bed so he must have been really tired and in pain.  WE even gave him tylenol twice.

I'm continuing with the tablets, because that one night gave me hope, but I'm also stocking up on ambesol.

Becky, Owen goes to bed around 8.  He also wakes up around 8, 8:30ish.  I know late bedtimes dont' work for everyone... but it certainly works for us.  He has been like this since he was just young... he's a nighthawk.

[Gippie]

Ladies - I have posted here earlier - I have a 14mo who has EW/NW and no matter what board I post on....I get the SAME response....OVERTIRED - need earlier bedtime.    Tried that last night (went from 7:30 to 7:00pm - with NO CHANGE).   My question to all of you is this....

HAS AN EARLIER BEDTIME SOLVED ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS??   

HAVE YOU TRIED IT AND FOUND THAT YOU STILL HAD THE SAME PROBLEMS?   

I feel like that cannot be the ONE easy supre solution and all of us have failed to try it.....so just a quick response on have you tried it and does it solve it all?   

For me - I feel like she is NOT overtired......but I want to hear from those who are IN the trenches with me and a little deeper in.....

sigh.....

[daisymelan]

Stacey, I love the pic!

To answer your questions, I have never give ds an earlier bedtime to solve his NWs.  Actually, when he was 5 months old or so until maybe 8 months we had to give him a later bedtime.  we would put him down at his "Bedtime" and he would fuss for 2 hours and then go to bed, so we just kept him up for those 2 hours and he slept like a charm. 

Has your lo ever slept through?  Sorry I'm not familiar wiht your situation. 

But if you are getting some good advice, I would stick it out for at least a week, if not two, to make sure that your lo has had a chance to catch on.  One night I don't think is allows for a fair judgement about if it will work. IMHO

[Zaiby]

Just wanted to give an update as I haven't in a few days..

R has a bad ear infection and for a few days had a fever of 102ish - very scary - but the tylenol/motrin worked and finally the fever broke...he is still on antibiotics, but seems to be doing much better..He also cut his molars recently..Through it all he was a trooper and slept well all things considered..

As for sleep - well, I hope I don't jinx anything, but we have been doing the one nap thing for a few days - and he's been sleeping longer at night! (he just wouldn't do the catnap thing anymore)
The last 2-3 days he's woken between 6-6:30!  With a bedtime of 6:45/7, and he's been taking 2 to 2.5 hr naps as well!
Who would have thought? It's still early, but much better than 5/5:30
His naps are between 11:30/12 depending on wake up time - I've been trying to keep A times to 5hr before nap and 5 after..

Fingers crossed that this continues...
Thank-you everyone for their support ...I'll keep you posted on the progress...
Z

[daisymelan]

YEAH ZAIBY!!

[PeepersMom]

happy dance for R and Zaiby!!

Stacey - to answer your question, yes and no.  I know someone who regularly puts her dd down at 530 pm and she will sleep 14 hours on days she doesn't take a good nap.  For us, I put PJ down earlier if he has a short nap, but I can't go too early.  The earliest I can do is 630 or he'll wake too early.  His normal bedtime is 7/730.

Can you tell me you schedule so I can see?  If you think he is overtired then 30 min is probably not significant enough to see a diffrenence. And 1 night is nothing.  You have to do if for a week to get them caught up and used to a new routine. 

We are definitely better than 2 weeks ago, but not wonderful.  I am still trying to lengthen the nap, but we aren't getting much of an improvement.  His nights are much shorter than they used to be, but I am okay with that IF he would take a nice nap.  I just can't seem to get it! 

Meg

[aidenmc]

Great news Zaiby!

I don't know what has happened to Aiden! He was sent home from school this morning and was last THursday as well. He won't stop crying! Last night he woke 6 times and was up at 5 for the day! He is angry and before today's nap was throwing things and trying to hit. It is hard to tell if he is unwell or if this is all SA. He is pale this afternoon and was yesterday afternoon. I know one tooth came through last Friday and i suspect maybe has last one may be starting to move on him but I can't be sure. The SA is worse than ever and I am questoinning myself so much. Have I created a spoiled toddler who can't be on his own? His sleep is so inconsistent. He slept through a couple of nights on the weekend but his naps were short - 1hr40 then 1hr15. Did we slip into the overtired zone again?

I am so frustrated. Everyone keeps suggesting I keep him up later so that he will sleep later. Hasn't worked for me. I feel like it is my fault he is not sleeping and that he is so clingy right now. DH just keep saying "no more babies" so I don't feel like talking with him about this any more.

Why can Aiden sometimes fall asleep beautifully on his own and sleep through the night and other nights he has to be patted down or have a hand on him and he wakes throughout the night?

Last night he was not happy to levae me for dh to put him down. Dh couldn't take his hand off him or he would cry. After a while dh started getting frustrated and raised his voice at Aiden telling him to go to sleep. Of course that only got Aiden more agitated.  . I took over and he evntually went to sleep. He just wanted contact until he fell asleep. Nap time today I ended up bf to almost asleep. He was screaming and growling so much!

I really don't know what to do any more. I am trying so hard to get control of this, to get him to sleep early to catch up, etc. and still I can't get a handle on this.

[daisymelan]

Hugs Becky, that sounds awful. 

Why can Aiden sometimes fall asleep beautifully on his own and sleep through the night and other nights he has to be patted down or have a hand on him and he wakes throughout the night?

That is the million dollar question!  I wonder the same thing.  But O has never been one that goes to bed being patted, etc.  We have been consistent on insuring he falls asleep on his own.  Also, O has never been a consistent napper.  Some days it's 1.15, some days it's 2.  Wish I had some words to offer to help you... but then I wouldn't be frequenting this board, would I?  LOL

I'm happy PJ is giving you better nights Meg.

[PeepersMom]

Becky - Oh man, I feel for you. I have been feeling so deflated lately w/PJ's short naps.  You'd think I'd be used to them, he has been a short napper his whole life, but still it is so hard to take.

I find it really odd, just like you, that he could be so out of control at such a young age at daycare that they send him home.  honestly, I might consider calling the doctor.  SA is one thing, but being sent home from school?  geez.

Remember when I first started on this thread PJ was going from 9 hours at night one night to 13 the next. I have no idea why he did that for 6 weeks but now isn't?!?!? naps still suck, though.


((Hugs)) to you and sweet Aiden.  You are trying so hard. You are a wonderful Mommy.  some kids have bad SA, some kids don't.  PJ wouldn't leave my knee today, but yesterday I couldn't keep up w/him running away from me.  why won't these kids follow our commands!!

Meg

[andibig]

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
ladies, i thought i had this sorted but NO.sashas sleep is insane right now!!!i have absolutely no idea where i'm going wrong?
she naps great which is 1 blessing but her nights are completely wacky.
shes been unsettled at night but able to put herself back to sleep.then we get a variety of early wakings.this morning it was 4am she then went back to sleep till 5.30 wouldn't lay back down again so i ended up putting her in bed with me (i know, i know!).and we slept till 7.10am.
i'm not sure if her teeth are playing up at the moment.i'm at a loss

[aidenmc]

PeepersMom - I don't think he was out of control as much as he just kept crying on and off. He was pointing to his tooth which made them think it was pain related. I think it is more than that as he really protests when I leave him. I find myself wondering if we are being too easy on him. Last night I had him ready for an early night, medicated etc. DH was able to leave him in his room. He chatted to himself for a good half hour but them began to fuss. I think DH then went in and was trapped. He must have put a hand on him, but then whenever he tried to take it off ds would have none of it! He was asleep by 6:45 and woke at 3. I wisk I hadn't gone in, but I did when it seemed like he wasn't going back to sleep. I gave him Tylenol then he was wide awake. He babbled for a while then got frustrated and very angry. He just screamed and yelled. At first I thought - he is just mad that he can't get back to sleep and he wants something more from me. But then dh came in and asked why I hadn't picked him up as it had gone on for quite a while. So I did. Of course I ended up feeding him. I put him down and he went back to sleep in a few minutes.

THis is the problem. I am going back and forth thinking something is wrong and he needs this extra attention and thinking no this is getting out of control and he is just manipulating me. I have thought about calling the doctor. The thing i shis regular doctor is away and he has an appointment booked in a couple of weeks. I may get one with someone else, though, just to make sure there is nothing going on medically.

He cried a lot when I dropped him off this morning. I suspect he will do so all morning. I gave him pain meds for his teeth just in case that might help things.

 Sasha's mummy - at least she went back to sleep with you! I have been doing this lately with my ds who regularly wakes at 5ish and he does not go back to sleep.

[PeepersMom]

Becky - hum, well the story thickens, doesn't it?  Trust me I know what sleep deprivation can do to you, I can't even imagine what it must be like if you are going to work during the day.  ((hugs)) I don't think that you can be too easy on him if you are thinking it made the SA bad.  PJ is the most held 1.5 year old boy you have ever seen.  He is truly babied beyond belief  and he doesn't have SA - yet - I just think some kids have it and some don't.  NOW if you think he is manipulating you at bedtime? then that may be right on.  Not in a vindictive sort of way - he just wants to be held and nursed to sleep.  Can't blame him, really, can you?  The other way is much less snuggly and warm......I love to snuggle into my warm soft pillow at night.  KWIM?  Aiden is going to have to learn to do it on his own, and I think you probalby are starting off ok, but then get so worn out (and who wouldn't) that he ends up getting what he wants.  So he knows if he just protests long enough he will get what he wants.  You have to hold out longer. Sadly, they usually win.     Does he have any props other than the boob?

Sasha's Mummy - teeth are brutal here, too usually, as far as fitful sleep is concerned.  How long was she awake for at 4 am?  PJ does brief wake ups early in the morning most mornings.  Has his whole life (well since he started his version of sleeping through) Sometimes he sleeps in late, sometimes he is up at 6 for the day.  What time does Sasha go to bed at night?

I find it really odd that PJ just knocked about an hour off his sleep last month, but maybe he did?  It just seems odd to me.  I guess he isnt' too far off the norm, but dropping an hour in one month? seems like a lot.

Meg

[aidenmc]

I know, sleep deprivation is brutal. We generally have ways of dealing with it. Luckily I am a graduate student so I can do much of my research at home. I guess I am feeling more guilt and frustration that things are where they are and he is almost 19 months old. Maybe Aiden's SA is simply worse because he has been unwell and not sleeping well. He is a more expressive lo than ds #1.

In terms of props, we have a few. We had managed to wean him off the boob  with gradual withdrawal, so when things are bad he will be happy with a hand on his back or a back rub or patting. It is just so strange that he seems to get so frustrated and angry now and it really feels like it's out of the blue! Today at nap time he freaked again when being put in his crib. I started putting him down then realized I had to leave earlier than I thought to teach a class so DH took over. He decided to take ds out and read a book or two to settle him (another problem is that he comes home from montessori and I am trying to get him to bed so quickly). Anyway, he was really not happy when dh took over, but I think he is just going to have to get through this!   It is good to hear that your lo is given so much attention and is not showing these signs of sa. It's such a hard balance between nurturing them and giving what they need and promoting independence!

Sasha's mummy - teeth are my nemesis! Last night I did Tylenol, Motrin, teething tablets, teething gel and gripe water as well as an early bedtime. He made it till 3 before waking for an hour! I really wish there was a sedative we could give them to give them a chance at sleeping while they are teething! Those extra early mornings are always a sign of overtiredness for my lo, except he will usually stay awake when he wakes that early!

[daisymelan]

I really wish there was a sedative we could give them to give them a chance at sleeping while they are teething!

AMEN!

[andibig]

peepers mum
she wasn't awake very long at 4am.fortunately shes pretty good at going back down if she wakes in the night.this is due to DH dealing with the NWs after she was sick .shouldn't really complain.

i can only think its her teeth thats bothering her.we gave her some teething granules the previous night and she slept all the way through!! will have to buy some more tomorrow.

TEETH-so much effort and pain to get them and then they all fall out