Thanks a lot for your advice and support Shiv. Today is day 5 of no morning BF. The first two days were easy as DH was off work so just got Cadan up while I stayed in bed anyway. Then these last three days I have just distracted him. He did ask this morning and I said "oh no we don't have boobies in the morning anymore do we? You're a big boy now, you don't need boobies, you can have other nice drinks like hot chocolate." And then I distracted him with feeding the cats. He did see me pumping later in the morning while Colby was napping and kept asking if it was his boobie. LOL.
I have been surprised by how engorged I'm getting now I'm missing that morning feed. I have been pumping to build up stocks for Colby before I lose it.
We have also moved the BT BF from after DH gets him ready for bed and does to stories to before all that. I also do it downstairs now rather than in his room to make a bigger distinction between that and his BT routine. He is definitely feeding for a shorter period of time downstairs as he is happier to stop when he's had enough and go to have stories etc. whereas before his choice was to stop and clean his teeth then go to bed or have more BF. So he was using it was a stalling tactic although the didn't actually want anymore I think.
When the morning BF is mostly forgotten I am hoping to start offering him an alternative at BT, perhaps something like weak hot chocolate. And hopefully he will start choosing the alternative more and more. Is that a good strategy do you think? I know it will take longer this way but I cannot bear to have tears over this. I would rather do it a more gentle way if I can. I think it is hard for him to still see Colby feeding but not much I can do about that as I hope to feed Colby until he is around 2yo as well, at least 12mo anyway even if he weans before the 2yo point. Cadan only sees 3 of the feeds Colby has since he is in bed for the morning feed, DF and any NF.
Well done Erica.