WEANING thread #2... Come share experiences and offer support

[*Ali*]

Hi all. I am STILL feeding cadan who is 25mo and tbh I am over it! Well I still like doing it sometimes but it is more a nuisance these days than anything else. I am feeding my 5mo Colby as well and it is just too much to have someone feeding from me all day and night. Cadan is old enough now and I hoped he would have weaned by now but he hasn't. I don't want to actively wean him if it means tears though.
We still BF on morning wu and at BT. If DH gets up with him at the weekend he will happily go without but during the week when I'm on my own and I get him out the cot the first words out his mouth are "boobie time". I try to distract him with breakfast or playing but he is pretty insistent. At BT Dh gets him all ready for bed and does a story and then passes him to me for BF. We did try saying he could have another story instead of the BF and he said he would but then when the story was over he cried for the BF as well and of course I gave in because I felt he hadn't really understood the choice. He is really verbal and can have a proper conversation but sometimes I don't know if he truly understands what he is agreeing too.
I have some emails that someone kindly sent me with suggestions from LLL on encouraging self-weaning but if anyone can let me know how they dealt with this situations that would be great. Thanks.

[Shiv52]

I weaned M at 20/21 months as i was pregnant.   We talked about it and I told her there was no more milk.  We had tried a more gradual weaning and 'don't offer, don't refuse' but it wasn't happening.  Mornings were easiest as I just said 'oh remember we're not having milk any more' and it was easy to distract and move on.  bedtimes were harder.  Again lots of talking but then your best bet is do kisses and cuddles with you and then get DH to do bedtime for a few nights until he habit is broken.  M was a little upset a few nights but easily distracted and it went much easier than I thought it would.  She did for ages though want to put her hand down my top instead of BFing during winddown bless her! 


{{{hugs}}} Its so tough.  Rosa is 15 months and shows more interest in BFing now than she ever has and i don't think i'll ever get her to wean.    You've done so well to get this far with C, I'm starting to feel a bit done with it now.  I've been pregnant or BFing for 4.5 years I worked out the other day!!!!

[EricaM31]

Successfully weaned.  I just kept trying till he got hungry enough.  He went about 5 hours then took it,  I did change formula too and it has been 3 weeks and in 3 weeks I got him completely on formula.  I am still pumping once a day but probably for only 4 or 5 days more.  He did like the 2nd type of formula better.  I had to get nipples he liked and new bottles but all is well.

[*Ali*]

Thanks a lot for your advice and support Shiv. Today is day 5 of no morning BF. The first two days were easy as DH was off work so just got Cadan up while I stayed in bed anyway. Then these last three days I have just distracted him. He did ask this morning and I said "oh no we don't have boobies in the morning anymore do we? You're a big boy now, you don't need boobies, you can have other nice drinks like hot chocolate." And then I distracted him with feeding the cats. He did see me pumping later in the morning while Colby was napping and kept asking if it was his boobie. LOL.
I have been surprised by how engorged I'm getting now I'm missing that morning feed. I have been pumping to build up stocks for Colby before I lose it.
We have also moved the BT BF from after DH gets him ready for bed and does to stories to before all that. I also do it downstairs now rather than in his room to make a bigger distinction between that and his BT routine. He is definitely feeding for a shorter period of time downstairs as he is happier to stop when he's had enough and go to have stories etc. whereas before his choice was to stop and clean his teeth then go to bed or have more BF. So he was using it was a stalling tactic although the didn't actually want anymore I think.

When the morning BF is mostly forgotten I am hoping to start offering him an alternative at BT, perhaps something like weak hot chocolate. And hopefully he will start choosing the alternative more and more. Is that a good strategy do you think? I know it will take longer this way but I cannot bear to have tears over this. I would rather do it a more gentle way if I can. I think it is hard for him to still see Colby feeding but not much I can do about that as I hope to feed Colby until he is around 2yo as well, at least 12mo anyway even if he weans before the 2yo point. Cadan only sees 3 of the feeds Colby has since he is in bed for the morning feed, DF and any NF.

Well done Erica.

[Khalam's Mama]

We offered K a hot chocolate and it is nice to replace the comfort. K still likes a good cuddle in the evening so maybe add something like a story while he drinks so you can snuggled.

[Shiv52]

You making great progress Ali xx

I think offering an alternative is a great idea to the BT feed.  getting it moved to before stories though is a HUGE step in the weaning process.  Well done you xx

[*Ali*]

He was actually quite excited about having it downstairs on the sofa. The first night he did ask for BF again after the btr but not again since. It is easier to distract him when he messes around and I end it early too with there being the stories afterwards. Thanks for your support.

[*Ali*]

So this morning Cadan asked for boobie time and I said we don't have that in the morning anymore and he burst into tears and it broke my heart.   
I was strong though and I didn't give in. I distracted him with an offer to watch Postman Pat on TV and have some cocopops (hmm preferable to a BF??? No but just temp I hope) and he cheered right up. I couldn't feed after 7 days of no morning BF or it would have set us right back I think. So today was day 8 and our first tears. Boo hoo.

Better news this evening, he only fed for about 5 mins total both sides which is a reduction from the sometimes 30mins he used to spend when we fed up stairs. SO I think we are really making progress. 

[dancerth]

Trying to cut out one of the daytime BF this week to start weaning my 11 1/2 month old.  When nap time came he freaked out and cried and clawed at my breasts.  After an hour of trying to comfort and get to sleep I gave in and fed him and he ate like he hadn't been fed in days.  Even when I was completely drained he wouldn't detach and screamed when I took him off.  Am I just trying to early for him? Should I wait a week and try again?

[Khalam's Mama]

How many feeds does he still have?

[dancerth]

He's still at 4 a day. He is still doing his 2 daytime feeds about 30 minutes before each of his naps.  How do I phase them out and not lose naps?

[Khalam's Mama]

So he cried at nap time knowing he hadn't had his BF? Ca you AP a nap like in the buggy for a few days until he gets used to the change in routine?

[*Ali*]

Weaning is going well. The morning BF is long gone and the bt BF was a minute each side tonight. He just popped off the second side and said "story time" and went up stairs with daddy.

[Khalam's Mama]

That sounds good.

[Shiv52]

That sounds great Ali.  I've been off line so missed you posting about the tears last week.  You did great to distract him so well and am so glad he was so pleased with the cocopops!  Looks like the BT feed weaning is going well too xx