Support for "Dropping that last nap"

[rinajack]

Yep....it is hard to accept, but also, watch cues, during the process there may be some days where the nap is simply needed.  We drove a good distance at lunch time today (thanks for brilliant idea DH) and Zara napped, not asleep til nearly 8:30pm, bound to be up by 6 which is less than 10 hours

[Katet]

Rina, I know what you mean, ds#2 asleep at 9.45pm last night & up at 6 & into bed with me & rearing to go at 6.30am... my big issue is it is really really hard work to get him to last 12hours A time & even if I get there he is so hyped up that he can't fall asleep & gets to 14-15hours & then of course has to nap the next day as 9-10hours overnight don't cut it & then he requires full on 1hour + attention to wake him up from a nap less than 2 hours long & even then he is grumpy for another hour... but I can tell you his 9+pm bedtime is problematic with his brother's sleep too, not to mention mine LOL. I would so love 10.5hours O/n & a 1.25hour nap I can tell you!

[rinajack]

Kate we are having that problem. After her nap yesterday, wake at 5:45 raring to go. so slept just over 9 hours.  But within an hour or so of waking, was in a feral, emotional, tired state.  Because I couldn't take the nonstop crying whining anymore, napped at 10:30 for 45 mins (woke on her own).  Is much better this afternoon, and I am desperately hoping that the nap was early enough for her to manage a long night.

BUT, she isn't yet able to manage the long days day in day out, only for a couple of days at a time, then she naps, then she short nights, then the cycle starts again! Add that the terrible two's have hit, and that she needs more attention because of Hugh, and sometimes, she is that child noone ever imagined would be their child iykwim

[Layla]

Guys, I am not really sure that I "belong" here since Isabella has not napped in over 3 months... but I wanted to ask a question (if you have been through this with DC1)... why is she still so damn cranky after not napping for 3 months & continuosly getting 11-12hrs at night!!!! Ok the exception being when we made the big bed switch about a month ago & bedimte was pushed to 7-7.30pm some nights, wake up around 5.30am some mornings and no nap during the day. But before the big bed she always seemed cranky & now that the big bed drama is over with, she's still cranky!

I just can't keep up with it! I try earlier bedtime but she will then wake earlier, so I know that he absolute max is 12hrs but why oh why the yawning throughout the day & the crankiness in the late pm. Seriously, anytime from 2pm she can be such a grumpy little girl some days. Its not everyday but she always seems soooo tired!!!

Kate.. did you go through this with #1?  Should I try and bring the nap back?

[MommaHolmes]

You know guys, I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
Isn't it possible that much of the reason that the 'twos' are so 'terrible' is cos LOs don't get the amount of sleep they biologically need cos they've cottoned on to the fact that they don't have to go to sleep when they feel tired?

I don't think I know anyone with a toddler who isn't experiencing sleep problems of one kind or another, and I certainly don't know anyone with a toddler who isn't experiencing either behaviour problems or having a grumpy grouch for a child!

Maybe we just need to ride this one out?

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Guys, I am not really sure that I "belong" here since Isabella has not napped in over 3 months... but I wanted to ask a question (if you have been through this with DC1)... why is she still so damn cranky after not napping for 3 months & continuosly getting 11-12hrs at night!!!! Ok the exception being when we made the big bed switch about a month ago & bedimte was pushed to 7-7.30pm some nights, wake up around 5.30am some mornings and no nap during the day. But before the big bed she always seemed cranky & now that the big bed drama is over with, she's still cranky!

I just can't keep up with it! I try earlier bedtime but she will then wake earlier, so I know that he absolute max is 12hrs but why oh why the yawning throughout the day & the crankiness in the late pm. Seriously, anytime from 2pm she can be such a grumpy little girl some days. Its not everyday but she always seems soooo tired!!!

Kate.. did you go through this with #1?  Should I try and bring the nap back?

Just taking a quick peek in her and saw your post. I thought things had settled down by now. DD was the exact same. Cranky every pm and bed earlier just made wake up earlier so I had to go back to the 7.30 bedtime and just put up with the pm. Can I say that 7 months later we are just about right but maybe that's cos dd isnt at school since December as we moved house and she will only start in April. She seems to be tired during the day, rubbing her eyes but not cranky. She does get cranky from around 5 on so outside is the place to distract her. She is doing 11.5 hours sleep most nights and once or 2 a week 12. We will see how things go when she starts school again. Oh and she wont nap for love or money even in the car. Honestly I dont think it's worth trying to bring the nap back unless you want a late bedtime, if I remember correctly you are on a 6.30ish bed time? I just think some kids take longer than others to adjust and dd is one of them. Oh and I meant to say with a 7.30 bed time we usually have a before 7 wake up, though that may be due to ds waking her. We did have a week in Feb where she slept 13 hours every night, it was fab :-)

[Peek-a-boo]

Layla--are you offering a mid-day "quiet time"?  I'm speaking entirely theoretically here, but feel like I've heard/read that just quiet down time can be restful even if they don't sleep.  I do notice w/ DS that even if he doesn't nap, he does better in the evening if he's had an hour or so of quiet down time in his bedroom midday. 

[rinajack]

I hear you all on the whiney thing.  Stacy, the hard part about that is that the whining is as bad, if not worse, when Zara naps, because she wakes from her short nights already cranky!  I think this whole transition is just something we need to ride out!

Layla, interested to see your answer about quiet time.  Zara won't stay in her room for quiet time, but she definitely perks up after some dummy and lovie time, so there surely could be something in what bethany is saying.

[Katet]

Layla, ds#1 only gave up naps last November (aged 4 & 3months) & still will nap about 1/week, normally on Friday after 2 days of preschool or Sunday if the day leads that way... he did go through some cranky stages, but never every day KWIM & I think that was because he napped to such an "old" age & once he stopped napping he had chill out time watching a DVD (or on hot days chilling in the paddling pool) while ds#2 napped, so he's always had at least an hour of down time in the day.

Fortunately or not ds#2 isn't overly whinny when overtired, infact he hypes up & becomes very definant & can't unwind, so he often rubs off  on his brother (& me) as he bounces of the walls. I think he is actually more like his brother & "needs" more sleep, but because unlike his brother he is happy (even if alternatively cuddly/hyper) when he is OT we tend not to push for sleep as much & I fully admit I stopped trying to have a regular nap time when ds#1 gave up his & so I'm a big part of the problem... although since thinking about this the other day (after a bedtime disaster) We are going to work on that.

[Layla]

Layla the afternoons are icky no nap. if shes not responding yet i would wonder maybe the no napping was a phase?  If you did offer it would she nap? Even if its only every few days, and only 45mins, an hour if shes tired shes tired.

I don't know how this is possible? 3 months before she totally stopped napping, she would only nap with me & towards the end she was poking my face, jumping up and down, doing anything but napping so I just gave up. It was really getting on my nerves and I was getting to a point where I wanted to yell at her and almost smack her, so to save myself the sanity & stop myself from hurting her or yelling at her, I gave up on naps. Maybe it was premate but we are at a point now where she won't even nap in the car! She used to give signs of dosing off but unless she's had a short night (like when we were going through the BB transition), she won't nap.
So the only thing I can think of is cutting her night short and then driving around in the car around noon so that she'll sleep.

Fiona - perhaps we need a support thread after the nap is gone  . Mine is also pretty much on 11.5hrs with a few 12hr nights. We are on 6ish bedtime. Basically her dad is done with reading her books and leaves her room around 6:05 or so and then I go in for a final kiss and she's pretty much out of it by 6:15pm. When her bedtime was pushed to 7pm (during the transition), she would too wake up close to 5.30am & some days earlier... so I know at the moment it can't be any later than 6.30pm or we too get an earlier wake up. Wow 13hrs at night... that hasn't happened here at all since nap dropped. Mine doesn't go to sleep though... she has 3hrs of preschool once a week but I haven't noticed the difference in nightsleep on those days.

Bethany - yes we have about 1.5hrs of "quiet time"... its the duration of her sister's nap. Basically around noon we have lunch and then she'll watch a dvd. There is no way in keeping her "quiet"  in her room flipping through books... she acts like she has ants in her pants every awakening minute... so getting her to sit still is very hard. So dvd is about the only thing that will get her into a trance... maybe thats whats messing her behaviour up... maybe the dvd is much too stimulating? I don't know!

The thing that makes me think she's always tired is that she will always hold onto her lovey and she tells me throughout the day "i'm tired mummy". There are times during the day when I see her laying on the floor with her lovey and its as if she is taking "time out" and calming herself down. When she's in full on "red zone", she will go to her room and sit with her lovey on her bed & she'll ask me for books to read. She asks me to leave her alone and that she'll come out when she's ready . So I believe she "knows" when she's tired and that she acknowledges that she needs a bit of relaxing time... Maybe I need to bring "quiet time" to 2pm or later than what we now have???

[debo620]

Layla, absolutley no experience with no naps. but I just wanted to say that I think its great she can choose to have some quiet/lovey time. Noah does that too, he goes and gets his lovey and sits on the couch reading books or asks to watch a DVD---this is quite often around 4/4:30-which works well for me while I make supper etc. he'll even lay down and say he is going to have a nap. just his way of recharging I guess----but I have stopped seeing it as an indication he needs more sleep because he gets all the sleep his body will allow.

[aidenmc]

I'm so glad I popped on here tonight. I think I will hang out more. We have been continuing to struggle with bedtimes, naps, NWs and early mornings. The last couple of days (dh is is away) have been very difficult with my guy. He has been a real 'terrible two' - defiant and hyper and at other times, whiney and clingy. DS#1 was so tame as a toddler, by comparison. Aiden just gets more and more revved up when he is tired and gets very hard to control. I have caved in for the last couple of days and patted him to sleep in his bed to ensure that he is asleep early enough because he is not napping (unless we take him in the car) and still plays games at bedtime (i.e. getting out of bed dozens of times). He seems to max out at about 11 total hours of sleep in 24 hrs. Personally I am hoping that daylight savings time will be our solution. He will wake an hour later (a delicious 6 am!) and we will have time at night to get him to fall asleep on his own by 7 or 7:30.

I have felt very powerless to solve his problems. So after reading the more recent posts, I am going to try tell myself that this is just a phase.

[rinajack]

Layla, the behaviour that you describe with the lovie etc Zara does too.  Perhaps she is confusing tiredness with boredom or over stimulation? But I do generally see this from Zara more often when she is bored...

[rinajack]

Up at 6am today, no nap, in bed asleep by about 6:15.  No major meltdowns, just normal 2yr behaviour.  Hugh in bed by 6:30, this is one happy mummy right now

[MommaHolmes]

Yay Zara & Hugh!! You can't beat having your two beautiful babies asleep for the night by 7pm - however much you love them while they're awake, you love them EVEN MORE when they're sleeping 

We're now on day 7 of no naps - Ollie's doing around 11.5-12 hours most nights with only occasional NWs so I think he's coping with it quite well.

Unless his nights become a disaster, I'm going to stop pushing the nap as it makes my day soooo much more pleasant!