Support Thread for 2-1 Nap Transition cont'd pt 3

[lulunut]

Bex09- I don't know if this is the best idea b/c my LO still gets up at 5:30 sometimes but I used to push him longer A time in the AM.  This didn't work in my favour at first but it has lately.  He now takes a longer nap.  I just add a small amount of time like 15 min.  He is now slowly working towards a wake time of 6am (which is our proper wake time).  I also find that if takes a nap longer than 2 hours he wakes earlier.  Not sure why this happens!!

I am just happy that after months of 30 min naps he now does 1 nap at an average of 1.5hrs!!!  I does happen ladies!!

[Ambinsi]

Can I pleeeeeeeeeeeease jump in here?? I'm ready to beat my head against the wall. Literally. Is anyone having ANY success and what did you do?

[Bex09]

Thanks Ali and Lulunut. If it starts happening again I will push her morning A time so that she still naps at 12 ish and hope that will correct our day. TBH since I posted we have been having different issues with BT refusal and long NWs. I am pretty sure that is all teeth related though and she has been sleeping in to make up for the lost sleep (until 8am this morning!) so our days have been great.

[*Ali*]

Ambinsi - we just moved the morning nap later and let him sleep as long as he would which luckily was 2-3hrs mostly. Then we did an early BT if needed.  What are you on at the moment?

[Ambinsi]

Thanks *Ali*...I saw your response after I wrote this so I'm going to post it anyway...this was my original message. I'm SO STRESSED!!

Alright ladies, I'm just going to jump in here and fill you in on whats going on with us. Hope that's allowed here...I never posted on one of these threads before. I have a separate post in this section below but since I'm 99.999% sure what's going on with us is 2-1 related I'm going to just jump in.

My DD is 14 months old. She was never a great napper and it took me a loooooooong time to get her on a routine. I had her 2 naps down to a science (eventually) but I want to stress here that her first nap was always better; longer, more restful and she went down with less of a fight. Her second nap was a struggle and I often had to resort to APOP to make it a decent one. In the past month or so things have changed dramatically and being 31 weeks pregnant, I just don't have the stamina to go through what I did the first time around - I'm desperate for a miracle!! Obviously I'll do whatever I have to do here to make this work as there is no other option but I'm finding it so much more stressful as I enter my 8th month of pregnancy.

What's going on is this:
After a usual 6:30/7am wake up, I was doing about 4 hours of A time which would lead to a nap of 1 - 1.5 hours. I would usually then do a 2nd nap 3.5 hours later which was usually shorter and it was harder for her to go down - she would often resist this nap, but I would make sure it happened no matter what. Bedtime was usually 7/7:30ish and if she was ready she would go down without much of a fight.

Now what is happening is the first nap has shortened....There is the occasional day where its super long and then I won't push a 2nd nap and will give her an early bedtime, but for the most part its shortened. She's also totally refusing the 2nd nap in the crib and other than resorting to putting her in the car so she'll fall asleep, I'm not sure what to do on that one. I believe she's becoming OT and bedtimes are becoming very stressful - crying and taking a long time to settle.

I'm in the process of messing with her morning A time to see if I can push that first nap back further...she just seems to be capable of staying up longer, although some days she seems like she's hitting the wall after 3.5 hours.

I guess my major concern is how to handle the 2nd nap. Eventually I hope to make her 1st nap around noonish and her second nap disappear, correct??

HELP

[*Ali*]

Welcome Ambinsi. Yes you can just jump on and post on these support threads.
OK, so can you get a longer nap out of her if you push her A time to 4.5hrs? If so you could just do another 4.5hr (or so) A time after her nap with an early BT if needed. That is what we did and my DS's nights went back up to 12hrs whereas they had been 11hrs on 2 naps. What do you think?
It is hard to AP that second nap when they aren't quite ready for it and I remember doing it with DS later in the day which meant I had to wake him and still do a late BT.

[Ambinsi]

Thanks again *Ali*.....I'm going to try that tomorrow but the truth is that its been really hard here. I am having work done on my house and I've had contractors in here making tons of noise. Its not every day but on the days that they are here I've had to resort to napping her in the car which I know is not giving me an accurate assessment of what's going on. They will not be here all weekend so I will try 4.5 hours of A time tomorrow and report back.

It is hard to AP that second nap when they aren't quite ready for it and I remember doing it with DS later in the day which meant I had to wake him and still do a late BT.

I agree 100% and I've been falling into this trap for awhile. Its starting to feel counterproductive when I feel like my goal is to ultimately DROP that second nap. So do you suggest that if that first nap is still short I opt for an early bedtime and forget the 2nd nap?? The second nap is starting to ruin my life, honestly.

I guess I've been trying to keep it because I read on here to hold onto it as long as possible, AND to drop it and have an early bedtime would throw my whole routine off. I wouldn't know how to fit in dinner and her bedtime bottle, etc. I guess I was just used to a certain routine and was afraid to deviate.

As I write this we're going through a dramatic bedtime. I had short morning nap, a late AP'd 2nd nap which was also short, and then I put her in bed. She's extremely OT and getting hysterical. This is so hard.

[*Ali*]

It is good to hang on to the 2nd nap as long as you can BUT if it just serves to make the day superlong and leads to OT and BT resistance then it really is not helping IMO.
I used to make the decision on the day as to weather we did a 1 or 2 nap day. If our morning WU was early I would aim for a slightly shorter morning A and 2 naps, especially if that morning nap was short. If DS woke at the normal time or later I would try to stretch the first A time and let him sleep as long he would. I also looked at what time he woke from the first nap and decided whether it would be realistic for him to make it to an reasonable BT. If it would mean a 5hr+ A time and we'd still have to do a stupidly early BT I shot for a 2nd nap. If I could keep the A time under 5hr and it meant BT would be 6pm or later I just did the one nap.
I know some people did a late mini-power-nap of 10-20mins just to help their LO make the extra 1.5hrs to a reasonable BT but I never really did that with DS. I normally let him have at least 30mins for that 2nd nap. It did get to the stage where he was going to bed at 9pm some nights though which was crazy (especially as DH and I eat dinner after DS goes to bed and Dh goes to sleep around 10pm so he can get up early for work) and we hardly got any downtime without him.
We actually jumped to 1 nap and 4.5hrs A time around 12.5mo. I think we were able to get away with this as DS was doing 3hr naps (which I sometimes had to wake him from). Prior to that we had been doing 3.5hr  A times with 2 naps both of which I had been waking him from at 2hrs15 and 30 or 45mins.

[Ambinsi]

I think 9 times out of 10, the second nap is more difficult than its worth for the reasons you described. But then we'll have a day/night like tonight and it makes me question everything....

Today my mom watched DD while I had a doc appointment. We didn't discuss what time to put her down and she put her down when she felt DD was ready but she only slept for just under an hour. I knew that one short nap was NOT enough to last her the rest of the day so I felt like we had no choice but to APOP that second nap. Ugh. But...then it seemed to do the trick and she went down to bed with little fight. It was the least dramatic night we've had in awhile, so i was happy!!

Tomorrow I'm going to try for a longer A time...but I think the 4th is going to be difficult because we're having company. I think I'm going to try to sail through the weekend and not obsess and then reassess on Tuesday. :/

Thanks and I'll keep you posted. I appreciate the advice.

[Lemonthyme]

Right, I'm coming to the conclusion that my original conclusion that my son wants 1 nap not 2 is right and that's what's contributing to the early wakings.  I'm trying a short am nap as he's waking so early I can't get down to 1 nap yet.  Any hints / tips?

[Ambinsi]

I'm back....still a little frustrated over here

The good news is that our bedtime drama seems to have subsided. I was out tonight and my mother put her down and she did fuss on and off for a little while but I think my mother might have put her down a little too early, thinking she was ready. But for the most part its been great - she's been going down without a fight!!

The bad news is that our naps are still frustrating. I've been trying to slowly push her morning nap later and later with frustrating results. The naps are not lasting longer, they are getting worse. She's been getting up at the half hour mark, crying a bit, and going back down but not for a substantial length of time. Today, her nap was about 50 minutes total of actual sleep, but it was broken and I'm not sure how restful it was. I had to force a second nap in the car which I'm starting to hate doing.

How to proceed with these naps?? Do you think that its possible that at 14 months old, she's just not ready to go down to one nap and I'm forcing the issue?? I know that the two naps are a struggle but I just can't seem to get her down to one nap.

What would you do at this point?

[*Ali*]

How to proceed with these naps?? Do you think that its possible that at 14 months old, she's just not ready to go down to one nap and I'm forcing the issue?? I know that the two naps are a struggle but I just can't seem to get her down to one nap.

Definitely possible. Some babies don't move to 1 nap until 18mo or later, especially if they take short naps. It does sound like she is getting OT with the longer A times before her first nap if she is waking after 30mins and then going back to sleep. I would try cutting back the A time to closer to what she was doing before and stick with 2 naps for a while longer. I know it is annoying having to AP the 2nd nap but hopefully it will only be for a short time longer and she will be ready to start increasing again.

[Ambinsi]

Thanks....I guess you're right. I guess I was just hoping to be done with this transition before the new baby comes. When I'm home with a newborn I don't see how I'll be able to AP these second naps, so I was kind of trying to make sure it was all done by then. But if she's not ready, she's not ready. I know people say this a tough transition and it can take months....how will I know when she's ready?? I don't want to confuse her by constantly messing with her routine.

[lulunut]

Hang on there Ambinsi!  Hugs for you!!  I had success!  It took a lot of work and time but it did eventually happen.  He was 16mts before it was consistent.  There were some 1 nap days and some 2 nap days.  I pushed him and AP his naps some days to get it longer.  He was a short sleeper.  Early BT with AP in the morning (EW  often)  This worked for us.  I too got very frustrated, but I found it made no sense to fight it. It just can not be controlled some days so I just went with it.  Too much energy was waisted on being frustrated!!!

You just do the best you can and it won't last long. It's hard.  I know mine are 19mts apart.  I had to switch DD before DS came along.  I honestly don't even remember how I did it!!!  You are lucky to have this support here.  It's wonderful.

DS sleeps 1.5 at nap and 10-11 at night with no NW now.  It does happen so try not to worry.  HUGS!!

[Ambinsi]

Thanks lulunut, I appreciate the support. Its just so frustrating when everything I thought was true is like no longer true....For example, she was a much better morning napper, now those naps seem to be shortening, making the afternoon nap necessary when its what I was trying to phase out. Sometimes I feel like we're moving backward instead of making progress. I know everyone says this transition is rough and can take a long time...I guess we have to just ride it out.

I appreciate everyone's help. I'll definitely be back here