This kid baffles me......why is she waking at night?

[Mama_Mia]

Amy.. Your NW's sound exactly like M when he gets too much day sleep. I know you dont need to cut her nap as short as M's but just for an example, if I let M sleep longer than 45 min for his nap. He will have a 2-3 hour long NW just wanting to goof around.

[*Becky*]

how are you getting on?

[*Amy*]

So nothing new to report......
It is now taking her about 40mins to fall asleep for both nap and bedtime....nap is a new thing.
She is sleeping max of 1 hour 45mins....although normally 1 hour 20 mins.
Yesterday she woke at 7am I put her down for her nap at 12.10 for her to be asleep at 12.30. She didn't fall asleep until 12.45 and was awake at 1.45. So I put her down at 6.30pm for bec and she didn't fall asleep until 7.10 and woke at 5.30 this morning......
Should she be doing more than 5.5 hour a time? She was yawning away when she went for her nap this morning at 11am......but still woke at 12.15...... Why can't I figure this kid out???ds was doing 3 hour naps by this stage, there was no more counting a time or anything he just napped.....I am thinking of just doing a set nap at 12 and bed at 7 regrdless of wakeup or nap length....what do you think?

[clazzat]

I certainly did a set nap and bedtime regardless of wake up because that worked better for us - I found that they did adapt pretty quickly and the naps settled down.

[*Becky*]

We could never do set naps with DS because he was so touchy but if she is not then I would def give it a try.

[clairebear79]

Amy I think yesterday she was probably a little UT at naptime with 5h 10mins A & this is why she took so long to settle.  Have you tried just putting her down 10mins before you want her asleep rather than 20?  It might just make her go down that bit easier.   I've found with O, if I put him in too early he chats for ages & by the time he eventually falls asleep he is OT.  I suspect this may be what happened with C yesterday given she only napped 1hr.  And the EW was likely down to being OT at BT.

WRT A time, if you ask on the BC there's quite a few LO's already doing 6hrs.  I think somewhere between 5.5-6 is pretty common.

So... what about trying to put her down a bit nearer to 5.5hrs to start with & see if she settles better.  if not try putting her down at 5.5hrs on the dot (so she is asleep for say 5h 40 ish). If she's still taking a long time to settle then put down 10mins later.  This way you are gradually working your way towards 6hrs.

WRT set naps, we've always struggled with establishing them b/c DS is touchy & he struggles with OT.  BUT since going with the set A time we've more or less got a consistent WU time so nap is now at 12.30 & BT is 7.30 & we have around a 6.45-7am WU (touch wood!).  I think it can be a good idea for some LO's but you need to be prepared to ride through some OT esp if she is early waking.  WRT the timing of your set naps - what is your ideal WU?  And are you planning to cap her nap to make sure you don't get a repeat of the long NW's?  I think if you do want to cap at 1.5hrs then a 12pm nap will actually be too early.  The key with nap capping is to prevent OT by BT.  So I think she would need nap at more like 12.30-2 (possibly even 1-2.30) with a 7pm BT & this would hopefully give you a 6.30-7am WU.

[*Amy*]

Claire I have only just started putting her down 20 mins before her nap time as I was putting her down 5/10 mins before but it was taking so long for her to go asleep that it was getting ridiculous....so I figured put her down early and let her use her a time to settle herself!
Today was a write off although I kept her up so she woke from her nap at 12.15 and I put her to bed at 6.45.....and of course I have been in 4 times already and it is 35mins since she went to bed and she still isn't asleep. When I go in, I lie her down and walk back out......have been doing the same thing for 6 weeks now.....this started on the 1st of January.......I have never done anything different......so it doesn't matter how long her a times are.....how long she naps.....she struggles to fall asleep for both nap and bedtime and ew's! I have no idea what personality she is cause she is a little bit of them all! Going to do set naps, can't be any worse......

[clazzat]

Do you always go in when she is taking a long time to settle? What happens if you just leave her to it? I know that I quite often disturbed the settling process by going in and if I had left well alone then she would have fallen asleep sooner.

[ZacsMumme]

SO many hugs hun Z takes up to 45mins to settle at BT and I thought it was an issue, but it is apparently quite normal for some kids to do this. In the RYSC book she talks about this being how some kids WD, and Z is certainly like this as he wants to go in his cot, then WD in there now it seems We now leave him to it unless he cries, and adjust our day from when he falls asleep. If we PD early we still get long settling (quiet and in and out but still settling) and if we PD later we do too. I just thought maybe its C's way of WD now she is getting older?

The other thing I have gone back to doing because it is what works is that Z prefers a long A to BT so we have gone back to
WU 6.45/7
Nap 11.30-2 (now I do need to work on moving this to 12-2 again but he's a teething mess)
BT 7.15 asleep 7.45/8

Its not ideal but this is what happened when I listened to him KWIM? - Do you think its possible C just needs that time to WD, in which case just take it into account with her BT

[*Amy*]

Yes I think she does prefer a short a time in the morning.......I don't go in at night unless she cries and it is a lasting cry, iykwim.
At nap I never have to go in, but I do creep in once to make sure she hasn't dirtied her nappy.
She slept at 7.20pm last night and woke at 6 this morning crying......which isn't a good sign

[ZacsMumme]

we also had crying at BT tonight, these stupid teeth must be close to cutting, Z was a bag of misery all arvo. I'm sure I've asked this but you think it could be the molars moving? Apparently they mess with sleep something rotten

[*Amy*]

Cassie has had all her teeth since last september!

[*Becky*]

I think that is the way to go for now. As you said it can't be much worse (we hope!) and at least you will have a structure and can stop worrying about A times.

[*Amy*]

Decided on an early nap today as she was so sad when she woke this morning. She slept from 10.40 to 12.45!!!!! Which is great and she was in great form when she woke up. I put her down at 6.15, had to go in once but I think now (20 mins later) she is asleep, which is very quick!! So perhaps she prefers an early nap and early bed time??? Will report back in the morn, fingers crossed I am not up at 4am!!

[ZacsMumme]

Ahh I thought you had mentioned that but I forgot
I know Z seems to do the same on a later nap and an earlier and longer one...so he gets more sleep with an earlier and longer one and wakes at the same time ATM hopefully this is similar for you and things start to fall into place. We are doing a 4.5hr A (back from 5 hrs which didn't work) then nap then he can do 5.5 hrs with 15 mins fluffing in bed. I tried to balance his day but it didn't work so for now we are rolling with it. I'm out of energy to fight him