2-1 transition help with 1 year old

[JennVanessa1083]

Hello!

I had an ongoing post on the naps board around the 2-1 but was advised to start a new one here due to DS's age. We are going through the transition which started around 10 months. We finally started having a pretty good routine and I was seeing better nights but now things have gone awry! He is working on cutting his other upper incisor (the first popped through last week) and I know he's trying to take some steps. He's also in the thick of a wonder week. All in all, a lot going on! 

I feel like I can't hit the sweet spot oh his routine. I was doing the following:

WU 7:30 am
S 11-11:30 am
S 2:45-4:15 pm
BT 7:45-8 pm

However, he was only doing 10.5 hour nights not including NW (which was down to 1). I am in the process of completely night weaning. He was doing two feeds and now does 1 around 3-4 am then back down until WU.  I tried tweaking in the last couple of days to the following:

WU 7:30 am
S 11:15-11:45 am
S 3-4:30 pm
BT 8-8:15 pm

However, he's fought the pm nap until close to 3.5 A and woke up at 50 and 1 hour. The day before he did a 1:20 nap on a 3:22 A. Both nights he went to bed OT on the same last A I have been doing. At least I think it is as the last two nights he has been fighting bedtime with all his might only to wake up soon after (before 3hours after BT) screaming and crying. Last night he woke up at almost 12:45 crying hystericslly where it took an hour to resettle. I do medicate for teeth.

Not sure if I should just plow on and hope things stabilize again or maybe tweak?

Thank you!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I am totally not the best one for advice on doing the 2-1 in a slow manner - we jumped cold turkey with all three kids lol - but just wondering is he an independent sleeper?  Where was the routine at when he was 10 months? (Just for comparison sake to what you are doing now).

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi!

Well at 10 months was a mess. Basically two hour and 15 minute naps buy my day was stretching too much so I got support in cutting it down to an hour. We gradually got to this point which thankfully it hasn't been as bad as some moms have had it.

As for IS, yes overall he is but when he's OT or teething, he seems to have a much tougher time.

Tonight is the second night in a row where he fought bedtime and woke up on the middle of the night after restless sleep. He was awake for an hour crying on and off. I finally nursed him earlier than usual bc i got desperate but he didn't drift right away. He eventually went to sleep.

Someon suggested maybe UT...I'm just not sure

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What were A times like at the start of the 2-1? I am sort of thinking ut as well. Have you ever tried for one nap? As late as that first catnap is in the day I would be tempted to let him sleep as long as he will and see what happens - but I totally do things off the cuff .  We jumped to one nap once A times were around 4/4.5 hours.

[JennVanessa1083]

I'm starting to think maybe that's the case in terms of UT. He's sensitive to big jumps in A as I quickly found out around 10 months. Basically I pushed too hard too fast and he was doing the same A times back then (3.5-4 hrs) as I was trying to do long am/short pm. However, I ended up with tons of OT, NW, and EMW. So with much support I switched to short am/long pm and pulled back A times until he was ok to handle more. So I have been gradually increasing but we hit a sweet spot for a couple of weeks with the present routine but now it's a little wonky with fighting naps and bedtime with strange NW. Today I got a slightly shorter ovwrall night sleep bc of the long NW.

In terms of mood, he's always happy and energetic so it's hard to read him. Mood wise he handles OT well but it comes out in broken sleep.

I'm honestly scared to take the plunge with one nap. I'm scared its going to bite me in the behind lol

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Well the only way to know is to try! But in saying that with teething and walking it may just be that things are going to be wonky for a bit and that perhaps holding steady is the best option at this point. The fact that he is fighting bed and naps though and not just having nw/ew makes me wonder though. What is the bed/nap wind down routine?

[JennVanessa1083]

Yes I agree with all that's going on I'm trying to stay consistent but then the extra long NW and restless sleep leading to shorter nights are making me wonder if I need to tweak.

Haha I wouldn't even know where to start in terms of one nap a day!

Windown consists of bath or wipe down, lotion, diaper, pjs, nurse, lullaby, white noise, bed.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

When we went to one nap (wake up was similar to yours give or take 15 min) we started with naptime at 11:30 and split lunch before and after as two big snacks.

It ends up being a catch 22 at this point - if he is UT from not enough A time (or perhaps enough A time but not at the right time lol) then nights will suffer, and the cycle continues. I would suggest capping the morning nap further, but would he do a 15/20 min power nap? And not be a bear after lol? Is he resisting this nap or just the pm one?

[JennVanessa1083]

Lol well he is a bear anyways between the teething and wonder week! 

I'm finding that he is going down at 3.75 with fighting before this point. Then fights the pm nap until about 3.5 but then woke up at 50 minutes then an hour. The other day it was about 3:22A and did an hour and 20 nap smh. Then fights bedtime until 3.75 lol

Then wakes up crying then is horrible to get back down. 

I'm wondering if this may help?

WU 7:30 am
S 11:15-11:45 am
S 3:15-4:45 pm
BT 8:15-8:30 pm

Or if I shorten the am nap by say 10 minutes then what would the A time be for him to take a long pm nap? I hear shorten A by the amount you shave off of the first nap but the pm nap is so late that it will eventually leave me with a huge A time before one nap right?

[JennVanessa1083]

Edit: I was wondering if LOs every switch in preference of long nap. I noticed he likes to sleep longer in the am...but if I let him do that he fights the pm. However, at 3.75 he does do a super long nap but he will not go down before this A time anymore. He used to go down just fine at 3.25-3.5.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How long of a nap will he do? I would say that is a sign to at least try one nap days (sometimes they need to alternate one and two nap days before going fully to one nap). Their sleep needs are ever changing and tbh we never got any routine that lasted for more than 6-8 weeks until we were on one nap.

[JennVanessa1083]

If I let him sleep the am on a 3.75 A it's about 1-1:10 hr. On the pm nap with a short am nap with an A of 3.25- 3.5 about 1:10-1:25 as of the last few days.

I'm not opposed to doing some one nap days if that's what he needs. I'm just so lost on how to do it and how to know when it's a one nap versus two nap day. I'm scared of really messing him up.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hmm if he only does just over an hour at that A time that won't be enough to get him through on one nap. How does he settle to sleep with the 3.75 A time in the morning? Without a fuss or is he hard to get down?

[JennVanessa1083]

He fights a little but nothing dramatic. With a 3.5 he was going down fine but then was getting less than 10.5 hours of sleep. It was recommended that I try pushing to 3.75 since 3.5 is on the lower average for first A times but he wakes up cranky until I feed him then he's fine. Usually I woke him at 30-35 minutes but if I let him sleep I still don't get a restorative nap.

This kid is confusing!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What about trying a 4 hr A time? Just to see what happens. A lot of this stage is just playing by ear until they settle on one nap, though tbh I skipped that and went cold turkey and did a set nap and set bedtime (well we always had a set bedtime unintentionally!).  But my kids all dealt with ot rather well and I took the short term pain of crankiness over the long term gain of a predictable day!