As to giving her ham/cheese/bread etc. You you think that if I only do one meal like that it should be ok? No clue how much salt we have in our bread. I try get "healthy" bread in a bakery but it doesn't have a list of ingredients.
Well, it's all about balance. I worked out (looking at the pack list) how much of a can of this (ie beans, tuna) or a slice of that (ie cooked meats, pate, bread, a crumpet) would be ok and once I'd decided I never needed to work stuff out on a daily basis (too much hassle!). Some hard cheeses are higher in salt than others. I found a shop's own extra mature cheddar which DS loves with a lot less salt than a branded cheddar for example, and I checked which brand of cream cheese had the lowest salt level. Then always bought that one. My DS was offered and did eat little bits of other cheeses for variety and to develop his tastes but his bog standard every day cheese was the same day in day out so, the lower salt one.
For me, sometimes I purposely wanted to keep the rest of his day bread free, cheese free etc because maybe my mum was needed to cook a meal for him, and that allowed her to make something really easy like beans on toast to use up his entire days allowance of salt in one go! So on a day like that I used baby cereal rather than toast, plain steamed veg, plain boiled pasta with unsalted butter and tom puree mixed through for example, only fruit for snacks rather than crackers or bread sticks. I also did this on a day I knew we'd be eating out at a restaurant, or I'd steam some veg to take with us so I knew he had salt free veg and let him have pieces of the other more interesting restaurant food without worrying at all about the salt.
Sometimes the bakery can tell you how much salt or sodium there is per 100g of mix and you can work out roughly how much a loaf weighs, how many slices etc. if you can be bothered. I tried to do this but my baker didn't know the difference between salt and sodium (vast difference) so I just went by how much was in a slice of the sort of pre-pack bread that has listed nutritional value per slice. You don't have to be too anal about it.
I think ham can be quite salty so perhaps check that out before deciding if you want her to eat some every day. There may be other cooked meats that have lower salt levels?
I started making my own chicken liver pate, mushroom pate, smoked salmon pate because DS likes them so much. He still had a little shop bought though if I hadn't made a batch yk?
I would imagine that now you have the salt levels in mind you will naturally be inclined to limit them even without working it all out. The danger is LO who are fed meals with lots of added salt or lots of pre-pack foods, canned baked beans in sauce every day, salted crisps etc.
And just in case you're interested. A cheese sauce can be made with plain flour, unsalted butter, full fat milk, and a little MUSTARD, then a little grated cheese. The mustard makes the cheese taste much cheesier so you don't need to add as much. Plus don't add salt to the sauce then the only salt is what comes from the cheese.
Or make a herb sauce like parsley sauce or garlic. The milk and butter content can be really good for LOs without necessarily having cheese.
