March/April Thread #3

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Thanks Judy, it really is a bit more random now on how to deal with the nap/no nap drama and I thought going from two naps to one was hard!  I was LMAO when you said Sarah now has EXTRA bangs LOL (I'm kinda reading mullet - please tell me it's not  ).  So any tips about how you deal with the younger girls being picked on by the older ones (if it happens - you know, toys being stolen etc, and do the younger ones look for you and cry?).  I kind of don't want to make Nathan out as being a bully, and Danielle being the victim (even though I know she's defenceless at this stage, but "start as you mean to go on" and all that  :wink: ).

Kate, that fire engine photo is soooo cute, he looks soooo old.

OK, back later....

[Judy]

Nikki LMAO  No not quite a mullet thank goodness!!

Do you have DORA there?  Ok - Sarah is a walking DORA show and if the little girls have a toy in comes 'swiper' and steals it away "you'll never find it now!  HAAAA HAAAA!" and then she tosses it.  They don't get too upset yet because they're more interested in HER being there at the moment.  But it won't be long - Kaia already gets a broken heart if Hannah takes her toy.

Generally I let them lead - so if they cry then I tell Sarah she needs to give the toy back.  I try to get her to be responsible for it somewhat but helping obviously.  So I might say "oh no sounds like Kaia is sad and wants her toy back.  Can you give it back?  Here Kaia here's your toy" and hope she gives it back if not I might "help" her give it back or find something different for Kaia.  Both older girls have a couple 'special' toys that they always get if they want them and someone else has them so I have a few like that for K&H too and generally Z&S 'get' this... else I ask Sarah if Kaia could have 'x' toy which just might be one of her special toys.  I would never take it and give it to Kaia but asking often gets the original toy given back.

I understand what you are saying... I kinda look at it as they had it so if they want it back that's fair. I tell the older girls to ask each other but if they don't get the item back then they can ask me for help and I will help them.  Maybe it will/does make them a bit of a victim???  Not sure.  I'm trying to avoid the hair pulling/hitting/kicking to get it themselves.  When they look to me and start a big cry I just calmly say "it's ok -we'll get it.  It can possibly go too far in the house" and then work to get the other girl to give the toy/item back (say if it's between Z & S)  If I don't swoop in but hold back just long enough to help the sad one calm down they seem to realize it doesn't have to be the end of the world - it WILL get straightened out right away and they don't HAVE to scream to get my help.

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Thanks Judy, while I do say things like "oh no, Danielle's upset, she wants her toy back" and I know he's grabbing it off her on purpose and tossing it away, guess I can't really expect him to get that just yet where he just won't take her toys (I mean he actually thinks she's "purposely" pulling his hair or kicking him  :roll: ).  Most of the time it's all good and he'll pass her a toy, it's just funny that I just noticed her yesterday turning to me to intervene all the time, which is fine obviously but I suppose I could come back with "oh danielle, you'd like your toy back?  Here, let's ask Nathan if he can pass it back please "Nathan can I have my toy please?" "Thank you Nathan" - is that going a bit far with giving Danielle all that dialogue?  I just need to stop myself from nagging him about it and placating her all the timed as a quick fix rather than problem solving it all together (but boy that's tiring isn't it? :wink: ).  I just know from being the older child that I took the rap and my brother was a tattle tale over everything just because I was older and should have known better at that particular age - of course when my brother was then at said previous age, he was still looked on as the younger one who needed looking out for.  I guess I'm working through my own stuff from childhood here!

Sorry girls, back to babies.  :wink:

[Richelle]

Helllo Ladies,

I have been trying to keep up but it has been bust over here now that it isn't minus 900!!  Lots of visiting ect...

Sophie has been really good and becoming a little dynamo.  Sh eis not even complteley mobile yet and I am already a little bit  :shock: !  Anyone else's LO's doing 'downward facing dog' yoga position?  She keeps doing that today, what a weirdo.

Nikki - One of my friends has a 13 month old that was visiting with us yesterday and anytime Sophie picked up a toy Ella would rip it out of her hand, mostly Sophie was just confused but it made me wonder what I would do if it was all the time or a sibling.  Good luck with the naps and the toys!

TRaci - good to know that the night's have semi-improved.  Hopefully it will get worked out soon!!  AND THANKS SO MUCH for putting that list together for the christmas cards, it is great and saved a whole lot of time for me anyway!!  I will give you a call from my hotel in Toronto tomorrow, I land at 4ish and knnow that it an akward time for you and Cole not to mention it is a crazy time of year ect...  but I will call to have a LIVE  :wink:  chat!

I forget who asked about the lapping of the crib but Sophie makes a few rounds in the evening and I always go put back in the middle before going to bed but she is still usually smuched up in the bottom or top in the morning!  I will post a pic of her having a nap on my little brother's bed the other day,  :shock: !

I am obviously beginning my 2 day journey back home tomorrow  :?  and am arriving home to a new home that hopefully is slightly unpacked!!

Later...

[Judy]

"oh danielle, you'd like your toy back?  Here, let's ask Nathan if he can pass it back please "Nathan can I have my toy please?" "Thank you Nathan" - is that going a bit far with giving Danielle all that dialogue? ...

I guess I'm working through my own stuff from childhood here!

Actually I think that's the perfect way to approach it.  It's modelling for Danielle and sure it will be a LONG time before she's able to do the same but it's execellent problem solving.  So hopefully in the long run it isn't you referring so much and sticking up for the younger sibling but rather you coaching/guiding them in problem solving.  You know now that he snatched the toy so you're really just helping justice be done so to speak   I try (although so HARD) to encourage my girls to problem solve when I've not been there to see what happened.  I want to get away from "what happened" to "how can we solve it from here?" but it's so easy to just blame the older child isn't it?

And yes isn't it so much about our own childhood??

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Thanks again Judy!  

OMG Richelle, that photo is priceless!  :lol:  :lol:

[james030405]

Ladies, how do you ride out the inconsistencies.   The last 3 mornings have been getting better re: wake up times. 

Sunday 4am
Monday 5:30am
Tuesday (today) 6:30am

I don't get him up for about 20mins after he is awake.  I am not doing anything different.  I tried to keep to our routine today by putting him down at 9am, but I think it was a little early.  He fought me for about 15min and usually he goes down without any help for this nap.  I guess you should always trust your own instincts because I told myself to put him down at 9:15am and that is when he fell asleep.  When will we learn?
 :roll:
Traci: glad your night had a slight improvement.  I hope it continues.
cathy:  I hope you get better.  Can DH help out?

Anway, James is up and we are going swimming today.  Hope everyone has a better day/night. 

Anwyn:  by the looks of your highchair, we have the same one.   

Talk soon

Lisa mum to James my textbook/spirited koala

[becca24]

Hi Everyone,

First I have to tell you this. It's DH birthday today and I got him a present the other day. So this morning I gave him a card from Halle. On the front it says - Happy Birthday Daddy from your Little Princess. Inside it says - Of all the Daddies in all the lands that there could ever be, my daddy's the best I love him so...He means so much to me!!  I got Halle to hand it to him, he opened it up and got big tears in his eyes  It was sooooo cute!!!

 :?: Is anyone worried about Christmas parties/lunches etc and what to do with your lo??  I have chrissy lunch at my father's with his family on 24th. Then every chrissy eve my WHOLE family (mum's side) go to the pub (mum's birthday also) Chrissy day is lunch at dh's sisters then party at my mum's house. Boxing day is usually recovery breakfast at mum's also :roll:  :roll: Just so worried about naps etc and where to put her down for sleeps.  I know I am trying out this new 'go with the flow' thing but those two or three days are just going to be totally messed up  :roll:

[james030405]

Hi bec, I think we posted at the same time:

we are having christmas day here this year.  I made sure everyone knew that I was not driving anywhere this year, as DH and I always drive everywhere.  I am going to try and keep as close as possible to theroutine, especially because James can stay awake for as long as we let him. I dont know how it will go as we are having in laws from christmas eve.  IT is DH's birthday on chrsitmas eve so they are here for that.  James has got DH a story bridge climb for his bday.  We have only just started to do them here, so that should be fun.

Maybe just go with the flow as best u can.  I makes it hard when you are not at home.

Hope the rest of your day is good and you are not too hot.  We are off to swimming today.

Talk soon

Lisa mum to James my textbook/spirited koala

[FrasersMum]

Bec, I can't describe the sheer terror I feel whenever I think about Christmas - and then the following week our holiday at the beach.

So, in classic "Jo" form - I'm in denial and am just not thinking about it at all  :lol:  :oops:   Works wonders for me.

A girl at work told me that her DS slept through the night until she went on holiday for a week and that threw his routine.  What do you all think - seeing as Fraser has NEVER slept through the night (no folks, I'm not kidding, I haven't had a full night's sleep for 8 and a half months) maybe the holiday will throw him so much that he STARTS sleeping through.  Ah, utopia!  (Never mind me guys, I think I'm delirious!)

[Colesmom]

Hey Jo, I'm with you!  That would be awesome.  Something to hope for anyway.  Maybe we'll sleep when they go to college :roll:

[FrasersMum]

Oh, I wanted to mention that Fraser screamed the house down for and hour and a half last night while I was trying to put him to bed.  Somewhere, somehow, bedtime has gone seriously haywire. 

I KNOW I have to stay calm for him to stay calm but that's hard when he sets a new record everynight for how long he can scream at me. 

Last night, he finally fell asleep once I lay down beside him in his cot (yep, crawled in there again!).  My poor baby was so worked up that even after he fell asleep he continued to sob for at least 15 minutes (that's when I got out of the cot and left).  (Where's the breaking heart emoticon?)  Oh well, this one will do  :cry:  :cry:  :cry:

[FrasersMum]

Traci, do you have boarding school over there??  I wonder how young they take 'em?  Perhaps I'll look into it  :wink:

[james030405]

Jo, my heart goes out to you.  I could feel myself well up at the thought of Fraser sobbing :cry: .  But my fingers are crossed about the holiday to the beach.  Maybe the sea air will do him the world of good.  We are also going to the beach after christmas, James isn't a bad sleeper at nights so god only knows what will happen.

Hope you have a better night. 

Lisa mum to James my textbook/spirited koala

[Colesmom]

Lisa-did you do anything different to get him to sleep in longer?  Did he take better naps therefore more rested?  At least today was 30 minutes later (4:40 vs. yesterday 4:10 :shock: ).  Cole took a 1:30 minute nap (extended) and 45 min. nap today.  He was up 4.5 hours before bed.  Took 15 min. to go down.  I am so hoping he sleeps until at least 5:30 tomorrow.  Sheesh-can you believe I'm wishing for a 5:30 wakeup!