March/April Thread #3

[albertasweetpea]

kq - April 22 actually. You guys are a few hours ahead of us?? I think. We are now at 8:38 pm, so you must already be at tomorrow.
Strange concept to think about... :shock:

[kq]

Sorry Nikki, I meant unconditional parenting. Is there a book or do you pick it up from this website and the links you posted?

LOL Michelle, we are at tomorrow IYKWIM. That is a strange concept! It is 4.43 pm on Sunday here.

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Karen, no I don't have the book for UP, most of what I've read has been online.  I think there is a website from what Judy was saying, probably http://www.unconditionalparenting.com.  But I mostly read about it on Mothering.com.

[Judy]

Ankie... oh gosh girl I SO know how you feel.  It sucks doesn't it?  Even now when those ladies wake at 5am it exhausts me and that's SO much better than when I was up from 3am on!!  I'm the queen of hopping out of bed saying things like "F*ck, d@mmit I've had enough of this sh!t" only to hit the babies' room door with "now sweetie what's wrong?"  I think I'm swearing in our room more for dh's benefit.  I don't want him thinking I'm happy about getting up AGAIN!

I hope the new plan will work - surely something's gotta give soon!!

As for the book Unconditional Parenting... I bought mine online - actually I have two if anyone wants to buy one - stupid really but I was so interested in reading my copy and wanted dh to read it too so since it was so interesting to me I bought a second copy for him - what was I thinking?  He can't be bothered to read.  So I bought the dvd too - I'm sure it would be great if the DVD player worked :roll: 

Nikki is correct on the website... although it's recently had a big change.  It was really overboard with tcs folks (taking children seriously) -  gosh I've purused their boards and man oh man they make my head spin.  I read something there tonight about how to celebrate Christmas - since tcs families have everything they want when they want it how do they do Christmas?  I mean if you knew your kid wanted something you'd have to ask if they wanted it now or to wait for Christmas... if they wanted to wait, cool, but there's no surprise.  Anyway - I like that they challenge my programming (from my own childhood) but they are so far over the other way - which is why they can stretch me beyond where I'm at..   Anyway - that's TCS stuff.... Unconditional Parenting board is back to UP reality I guess is a good way to say it... but it's like this community in that the author of the book is basically not present and it's not moderated at all so it becomes more what the members make of it.  KWIM???  Like us - we could discuss things and move away from BW potentially...  the group of folks that remain are very nice, very gentle... is a slow moving board, very little action especially now.

Anyway... back to sleep stuff... I'm still obsessed with figuring out the right amount of sleep and when for Zoe and Sarah.  They're exhausted during the day and if given the opportunity will sleep for 1.5-2hrs but then bedtime is a battle every night... without naps I'm struggling to keep them awake and then bedtime is 50-50 - might be smooth and early and might be a late battle still?  I got rid of the naps becaus they wouldn't sleep and I was tired of struggling to get them to nap, now I struggle to get them NOT to nap??  I think children enjoy trying to drive us insane!  I've got to get across to these kids that there will be very little inheritance if I die too young!!

[mickymuscles]

hi girls!

Andrea: we always do our errands between nap #1 and nap #2.  That's just part of our routine.  I usually try to be home in time for Jack to nap but if I know for sure that I won't be I stay out until it's time for him to nap and then he sleeps in his carseat.  :roll:   I know not very BWish but he's getting good at taking good naps in the car the other day he had a hour and 15 min nap in the car!  :shock: I just make sure I've always got a good book and a coffee to keep me company while he naps.

Michelle : 10pm EST is 8pm our time.  I hope to see you there!

Naomi: glad to see you back.  Made me LOL about your DH ripping the radio out of the guys dash!!  :shock:   I would have been pretty darn fuming by then too!

Ankie:  You are doing awesome! Stick to one plan and it will pay off.  I totally think going cold turkey is the way to go.  By now these little ones should be eating more than enough during the day and should have enough body fat to be able to hold them until am.   :shock:   Vent and swear all you need!

Judy: I'm totally the same way...swearing like a sailor if I have to get out of bed but once I'm in Jack's room I'm the sweetest loving mother I can possibly muster! :wink:

hannah: glad to see you back! I see you on Sunday! I too have become a junkfoodaholic.  I hate cooking for one.  It is impossible to do.  I'm in my "skinny" jeans now but its not because i'm working out or eating well!!  The pure sugar diet seems to be working wonders for me!  :roll:  :shock:

have a good night/day!

[Arwyn's mom]

Hi ladies,

Junk all the way... tonight, DH and I had leftovers (still) from my open house on Sunday and we had... Brie with sundried tomatoes and garlic, pepperoni, c o c k tail wieners, gherkin pickles, smoked salmon on crackers and spinach artichoke spread. Good open house snack-y munchy stuff but the combo has made me not feel so good.

Well, we are on night 2 of no feeding. So far, we have passed the DF and she stirred 2 times and woke once from being stuck in the corner of the crib. We'll see how it goes... she is still stirring from the second one... whining a bit but we are not going in. DH and I suffer from "running in syndrome" due to her sleep crawling. If we get her repositioned before she wakes up very much, she is very easy to get back down. If not, look out! So... DH has just gone to reposition her. :roll:

Will let you all know how it goes. Arwyn doesn't eat very much during the day, BFing or solids so I keep wanting to feed her in the middle of the night but I don't really want to keep it up, KWIM?

I am out tomorrow for my Grandma's 91st birthday, so I can't chat. I really miss you all... I haven't chatted for over 2 weeks and am experiencing withdrawal. :oops: I have another dinner to go to next Friday as well so I won't even see you gals then! :cry:

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Judy, I really hate this toddler sleep stage - it is do darn (read PLENTY of swear words  :roll: ) frustrating!  Last week I worked hard to get Nathan napping again (took ages!) because nights are crappy enough when he's overtired and waking 4-5 times, but to have him cranky and then wanting to sleep at 2pm for 2hrs and wakes snotty and then not settling for bed just to have night wakings and 5am mornings really takes it toll - he's probably only getting 11hrs total sleep on napping days and 9hrs on non-napping).  I'm so at a loss and have lost the plot at him a few times in the last week (yelling, and I soooo don't want to do that  ), I feel like I have no idea what is the best thing to do.  I even had a read of Elizabeth Pantley's toddler sleep book (very AP) in the bookshop the other day, but we already do her suggestions (similar to BW anyway).  The paediatrician told me the other week at his coeliac consultation that he shouldn't be drinking water in the night and just to refuse it - yah, does he live in MY house and know how THAT would go down!  :roll:   I know I need to stop it somehow but have no idea.  Sorry, vent over - no response required - I just can't vent to friends since they're all of the CIO variety and my mum probably would love to tell me to leave him to CIO but doesn't.  

Karen, you can't buy UP here either, but I have spotted it on http://www.fishpond.co.nz.  I'm debating whether to get it myself. 

Judy, does the book explain a lot more than what is able to be gathered from online?  Do you ever feel resentful that you've been really understanding, going with the flow etc etc and then something makes you snap and you wonder where the positive payback is for you?  I think that's what I'm struggling with and need some sort of system for coping with the anger that comes up in me when we've been having a really good day and then he'll start to loose the plot over not napping and being tired and then I do too and revert into military mode.  :oops:

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Ankie, good luck with the rest of the night.  It is tough when they start to make up for food in the night, you just need to be careful that she doesn't switch on you and start to be reprogrammed to eat at that time (see paediatrician comment above - it even has a medical term).

Oh, and Andrea, I agree with Hannah that (I'm not sure that it came across clearly in my other reply), that I don't think you can isolate preserving only either naps or bedtime since they do interrelate - especially for some babies (as in overtiredness from bads naps means more likely to have multiple night wakings - as you've found if you do errands in the late afternoon).  So if you can run errands earlier in the day and compromise nap #1, then the rest of the day you can get back on track so hopefully night time is ok.

[becca24]

Hi Everyone!!


Firstly Judy

the queen of hopping out of bed saying things like "F*ck, d@mmit I've had enough of this sh!t"

I just spat my fried rice everywhere cracking up at this, seriously I swear some of it came out of my nose.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  F@ck d@ammit sounds so funny together !! I love it. I am going to hyphenate it and make it my new word - oh along with DANG...

Well everyone I sent my cards out a few days ago but not pics as I did not get time to see Santa until today. Well what a right bloody disaster that was. First we went to THREE stores before even finding a santa. Then Halle just thought he was the scariest thing ever and SCREAMED the shopping centre down!!! All the other mums and dads lined up after us thought it was pretty funny. Not me, I paid 15 bucks for a picture of my baby's red screaming tear streaked face !!!! I can see that face a about 4.30 every arvo!!!!!!!!!!! I will post the pic next thursday after i pick it up  :roll:  Oh well MIL bought her a pretty dress to wear on chrissy day so I will take a pic of her next to SIL's tree.

Enjoyed the chat on Sat (friday night). What about that post on "Had a bad birth, read this"





 chuck a big sad over it !!!!!!!!!!!!  :roll:
Ok calm down self. Deep breaths...............


(I had to edit that out myself so I didn't offend anyone)

Hope everyone is doing well - so much to comment on as I havn't posted in a while, not enough time. Just letting you all know that I have been reading along and loving hearing about everything you have all been up to. Judy and Nikki you both have got me thinking about what 'style' of parenting I would like to aim for. I basically had two Mother's (Mum and Nan) growing up and they were so different :roll: I am hoping to take the good things from both styles and leave out the bad.

Good night sleep tight you beautiful things

BTW Naomi and Kate - loved your pics in the "what a difference 9 months make" thread.

[becca24]

Hi

I had to share a picture of my girlfriends twins.................How cute are they?

[james030405]

Hi ladies, 

Well, we have had a lovely weekend, I had my christmas party yesterday (at a brewery) and it was great.  Had a family do today and James was a star, being a perfect gentleman etc.

Ankie:  good on you and DH for making the decision to set a goal to help your lo sleep.  I have been trying for about 3 weeks to get James to not wake at 5am and over the last 4 days I think I have finally made progress.  I have made set nap times (sorry Traci, I know you don't like talking about this :oops: ) but so far I have had a 2 x 6:30am, 1 x 6am and today was 6:45am!!!! :lol: Fingers crossed that my hard work and also James' has finally paid off.

someone asked me if it was my libido not working?  Yes, it was me.  I have told DH that as of January 1, I am no longer taking the pill (or any other form of contraception).  I really do think these synthetic hormones are playing havoic with me.  I have told him he has 3 options, TTC, vasectomy or condoms.  Regardless, it is up to him.  He seems happy wiht this decision as it means I will no longer bite his head off. :lol:

Lovely photos everyone.  Is the Sunday night chat 12pm Australia time MOnday?  I will try and join in.  Well I had better go.  I want to read the "horror birth story".

Chat soon

Love Lisa

[Richelle]

Good to see you Bec, it has been awhile!  Bummer about the Santa trip, I am unsure how Sophie would do with a Santa, Seperation anxiety is kicking in over here, very annoying at times!

Judy - feck*poo**!@!@*wee*other bum!@!@**mess*bitsman bits!@!@breastsbabywhisperer!@!@babywhisperer.comremoved

Twitter Updates

babywhispererforums.com/a--holepenis Dammit!  When Sophie used to wake in the night I always made sure DH knew about it as well!!

Ankie - may the force be with you.  Dh used to say this in the beginning when he left for work and Sophie was a HANDFUL the 1st 2 months!!  I know that you will succeed keeping in mind that all success is relative.  I too think that you shouldn;t feed at night, Sophie seems to be less and less interested in her bottle so maybe it is a developmental thing?  I honestly don't know and wish I could help more.  Also could you and DH take shifts?  As in each make sure that you have a few nights of full on sleep and then switch to 2 nights with Arwyn?  That way you would be fortified in your decision not being as sleepy.

Naomi and Hannah - So good to see you, get your rest and know that we are always here for you!

Traci - What is going on over there?  I vote that you move your PC back downstairs  :wink: !  I know you are busy but can;t wait to hear how Cole is doing and how that party went!!

Nikki - I will check out those sites as I too am waffling on 'parenting' styles.  I just can't imagine NO not beoing part of my repetoire!  Do you say no to Nathan?

Kate - OMG a t$^th!!  That is great and good to know Rya\n is doing good with it!  Sophie loves baby Tylenol as a result of her 8 teeth, I honestly cannot believe that she has 8 but I think we get a break now until the dreaded MOLARS start!

Have people over for a feck*poo**!@!@*wee*other bum!@!@**mess*bitsman bits!@!@breastsbabywhisperer!@!@babywhisperer.comremoved

Twitter Updates

babywhispererforums.com/a--holepenis dammit BBQ, with a 14 month old; Nikki and Judy, when you go to someone's house do they leave stuff aside, unseasoned for your older one's to eat?  I am wondering if I shouldn;t marinate one of the chicken breasts for the 14 month old?  Any thoughts or should I not worry about it, I know that babes this age can be fussy and anything foreign can be scary!

I made huge progress on the house yesterday, namely Sophie's room but we still have an extra UGLY couch to deal with.  Also what are you ladies doing with all your unused baby stuff, I am thinking of selling all mine to buy new stuff for next Bambino.  We are lackiing major space in this new place!  TTC is obviously very dissappointing AF here again but I suppose I was thousands of miles away from DH for 2 weeks!  I am thinking seriously of putting it on hold until we are more settled, here, Canada...who knows.

[Carter'sMama]

We had a yucky night last night so there was alot of "friggin, damnit, and holy crap's" coming out of my mouth too.  DH slept through it all  :evil:  I even ended up feeding Carter at the 3:30 waking because his sleeper was soaked with pee and if I try and change him he becomes hysterical.  So, I change him while he is bf'ing and then he doens't mind.  After the 3:30 waking he did finally go to sleep until 7:00 thank goodness!

One of DH's suppliers is taking us out to the restaurant called Andiamo's (don't know if anyone has heard of it) but I love this place!  Originally we were supposed to all bring our babies (there is only 2 of us who have kids) but then our friends bailed and got a sitter.  Well, the only people we really know in Windsor who we would trust to babysit are the friends that are coming to the dinner soooo we have to bring Carter.  It is a really fancy restaurant too.  Hopefully he doesn't scream the house down!!  :shock:  :roll:   I have no idea how he will make it through the full meal.  Our friends said they really need a date night and I said "some date night ... you won't have to listen to your baby crying but you will have to listen to mine!!!!)  I am kinda nervous/anxious about this evening.  Atleast I get to get all dressed up ...

Hayley:  I tried to keep Carter up, I wasn't trying to put him down early.  He was hysterical by 8:00pm so I made him stay up until 8:15 but he totally conked out.  Oh well, last night he went to bed at 8:30 and slept till 7:00 with a zillion night wakings in between     He was doing so good too.

Andrea:  We always do our errands after the 2nd nap.  He is usually up by 3-3:30 so then we go out. Occasionally I will do them between the 2 naps but then I make sure I am home in time for 2 nd nap.  Then it is always hard to get him to sleep.

Bec:  I love the twins!  That would have been a birth to see!  Makes me miss my old job!!!

Traci:  Where are you ... are you sleeping in??!!  :lol:   Did Cole have a breakthrough??

I will try and be at chat tonight!!  Sounds like fun!!

Here's a pic from September I think of Carter and Boss (my Canadian Moose Hound)

[Richelle]

Andrea - I keep foretting to say that I am a bedtime/nightsleep over naps ALL the way.  I have been lucky until now though, in that Sophie has always been able to stay home while I run errands, having a nanny.  I no longer have a nanny so we will see how she adapts.  She is up from 245/3ish until bedtime at 7 so I find I get lots done then.  Sophie Loves stroller 'rides', literally sits up and hangs on swinging her feet while i am pushing so she will NOT nap in it or unless she is UBER tired she won't sleep anywhere but her bed - damned if you do damned if you don't - I guess    :roll: !

[Richelle]

Oh AND i forgot - great pic Cathy, what a couple of sweethearts!