12 month old with 30-45 min naps

[lesorl]

Last night I heard her 30 mins after she went to bed, and then again each hour for the next 2, but resettled herself.  4 hours after she went to bed, she was crying so I replaced her paci and she went b2s until 4am, where she chatted for 15 mins, then it escalated.  Again I replaced her paci and she went b2s until 6:11am.

How will I know when I can move the nap forward?

[NiknLily]

Leslie, I moved Lilys nap forward when everything was sort of stable iykwim.  It was miles from being right, but was at least fairly consistant.  For us it was a case of the EW having jumped up to 6ish then I moved her day on 10mins a day which bought her wake up up to 7am.  I think if I remember right she was then napping at 11.30am so I then just went for it again until she was upto 12pm nap which is where it stayed until a few weeks aga when it jumped to 12.15, she was taking too long to settle at 12pm and sometimes played past her ideal nap time of 12.15pm which started to cause OT naps and no nap days.  So by putting her down 15mins later she started going almost straight of to sleep again. 

If her mornings are now consistantly 6am or after I would push her nap from 10.50 to 11am for a few days see what happens.  That said if you get a day when she goes back to sleep till 6.30 or later you can push nap up a little later say 11.30.  Its a balance between watching the clock and going by A time.  If its an EW day go by the clock, if its a late wake up day then go by A time so as to avoid putting her down too early and getting a short nap.

[lesorl]

Why doesn't she take decent naps?  Why Why Why?

She slept 28 mins today- luckily I was standing by the door, and extended the nap another 38 mins.  But come on!  Am I doing more harm than good here with 1 nap?

Since she sleeps about 13 hours (or more) at night, is she maxing out?

I think she's going to be an only child.  I can't imagine dealing with this again.

[skatty]

Hi Leslie, stick with one nap, it is no worst than when you were on 2 except you had to deal with the frustration twice a day! I don't think she is maxing out with night sleep but just making up for a lack of daytime sleep at night which is a good thing! Leorah's naps have been about 1hr5 mins the last few days, she is teething and wanting to go to bed really early and been having 14 hours at night to make up for her short naps. Things are getting better, I can see that as an outsider, you are having later wake ups, longer nights and managed to extend a nap. It will get better, I promise!! Be consistant so her body can get the message 

[lesorl]

Last night-

Again I heard her every 30 mins after bed for about 2 hours, but she settled herself.  3 hours after bed she needed to find her paci.  And then she woke up at 5:39am today.  Is that really an improvement?

I guess for now I keep her nap at 10:50am.  Really hoping and praying (and I'm not religious) that it extends.

One tired and frustrated mommy.

[NiknLily]

Oh, Leslie.  Sorry you going through it, it is totally crap, been there & got the T shirt in all sizes & colours!!!

It will get better, promise.  Its just so not fun when its you going through it and it feels like it will never be right again, but it will be.

 

[skatty]

Can you put extra pacis in her cot? Leorah sleeps with 10 so there is always one in reach!

Please just remember 2 naps never worked either and you have to transition to one nap at some stage and you are on that road now so stick with that same nap time unless she wakes much later and then you can push the day on. Can your DH take over the naps at the weekend? I remember she slept on him for a while before to catch up with the OT and she took longer naps, perhaps he could stay by her cot and soothe her while she naps? You really need a break from it!!

What are her afternoon A times? They are a real killer for OT, Leorah still can't handle 5 hours, just 4.45 maximum and that's not everyday. I'm not sure whether you should give her a ultra short catnap late afternoon to break up the long A time, maybe 15 mins so you can have 1½ hours to do her tea and bedtime routine, what do you think New Mum? I just worry it may reinforce the short naps 

Anyway try and get some me-time this weekend a rest if you can as you need to be rested and healthy yourself 

[NiknLily]

It may be worth giving it a go. 

Heres another option, its not without its risk's but I do know someone it worked for, the lady who helped me through 2-1transition in fact.  Only trouble is I'm not sure how old her LO was, I'm pretty sure he was older, but still may be worth a shot. 

What is the longest you think she can stay awake for in the morning before there is no chance of her going to sleep at all?  Do you think she could go 5.5hrs? If so maybe try a super long morning A time, I would suggest doing it on a day when you get quite a good wake up time.  The lady who helped me found her DS needed 6hrs in the morning before she could get a good nap out of him then she gave him 4hrs A time in afternoon which helped prevent him being OT at bedtime.

As I say not without it's risks but it can work for some.

Another option, which I think may of been mentioned already, is to stay in her room for whole nap if possible, this may help her go back to sleep if she wakes up.  I would lay on floor, even cover up with a blanket and pretend to be asleep, in fact i frequently fell asleep in DD room during her naps when we where at the stage where she wouldn't fall asleep without me in room.  Its not a long term solution but you just need to find a way to get her to extend her nap, even if it remain's broken for some time yet.

[lesorl]

I could put more pacis in there, but she really only uses it to fall asleep and get back to sleep if she's OT.  So I'd rather not encourage more usage- it'll just be another habit to break! 

Not sure that M sleeping on daddy will help- once she's awake, it's near impossible to get her back to sleep.

Her afternoon A times are killing us- usually 5 hours or more, as she wakes between 11:30am and 12pm.  She REALLY could've used another nap today, she was a nightmare from about 2pm til bedtime, which today was 4:30pm!  I mean how much earlier can I put her to bed?  Her nap was 50 mins.

I've found in the past if I give her a short catnap (10-20 mins), she refuses to go to sleep within any reasonable amount of time (it's usually about 3 hours 15 mins), and then we have a later bedtime, some NWs, and an EW, which results in less cumulative sleep.

I think the most A time she's had before her 1st nap is about 5 hours 10 mins (today, and she had a 50 min nap).  Have no idea how long she could stay up-

As for staying in her room, I fear if she sees me she'll be up.  At least if I'm not in the room she'll toss a little. 

I don't know if we should keep on keepin on, as she was clearly so OT this afternoon.  Today was officially day 6, with a few days prior to that with one day glitch.

[MommaHolmes]

Heres another option, its not without its risk's but I do know someone it worked for, the lady who helped me through 2-1transition in fact.  Only trouble is I'm not sure how old her LO was, I'm pretty sure he was older, but still may be worth a shot.

Aww, would that be us? 

Yeah, Ollie was quite a bit older when that strategy worked for us, probably around 15 months. It was the pm A times that were causing our major problems also, he would always sleep well when REALLY tired for his nap but he would take a ridiculous amount of time to fall asleep at bedtime if he were that tired.

Sounds like you haven't got *that* much to lose by trying a longer morning A time, given what you've said in your recent posts 

Haven't read the full thread yet, but on first glance it looks like you're having some similar issues to the ones we had. Will try and get time to have a proper look tomorrow.

Hope you have a good night x

[lesorl]

I want to thank you all for your support and guidance.  Never would I have guessed a baby would involve so much.

Last night after falling asleep at 4:30pm, I heard her at 5:30pm, and 9:15pm, and she slept until 6:12am.  Great night, but now I'm not sure what time to put her down for her nap.  I've been keeping it at 10:50am, but if she's only had 4.5 hours A time she may only sleep 30 mins.  After 5 hours 10 mins A time yesterday, she slept 50 mins.  Should I put her down at 11:10am, or is that too much of a jump?

[skatty]

I don't know if I am too late but yes I think I'd give it a go as she is quite well rested from last night. Good luck 

[MommaHolmes]

Just caught up with the full story and would echo the things that most people have said i.e. stick with what you're doing, it WILL get better if you are consistent for a couple of weeks. Don't bother trying to work out what the relationship is between length of naps, amount of night sleep, and EW/NW cos trust me, there is no simple answer! I kept stupendously detailed records of Ollie's sleep patterns for 10 weeks (spreadsheet and everything!) and the only pattern was that there was no pattern!!

That said, I found that Ollie did get worse if his pm A time was longer than 4h30. Hence I picked a nap time that meant I could get him in to bed on time as 5:30 was about the earliest I could manage and he averaged 1hr30 for his nap. So our naptime started off at 11:30 whatever time he woke (usually between 5 and 6). After a week or so of that, his wakeup just jumped to 6:45am and I jumped his nap back to 12:30 / 1pm.

Sounds like your average naptime is less than an hour so if the earliest you can get her to bed is 4:30/5pm, you could try a naptime of 11:30/12?

At the end of the day though, I think it is the consistency that wins out. You need to stick with your strategy for AT LEAST two weeks before you can tell if it is really working although the initial signs seem good from what you've written - might not seem it to you, but go back and read your earlier posts, it is improving! You seem to have had more promising days than bad days this week.

Big hugs to you, it is bloody awful but it DOES end 
In our case, it ended two weeks before Ollie's little sister was born 

Laura x

[lesorl]

Momma Holmes- thanks for the encouragement.  I've kept detailed notes as well the last year, and I've come to the same conclusion- she has no pattern.

Today-

6:12am Awake
S 11:12am-11:52am (I thought of doing W2S, but I stepped on a creak on her wood floor, and she woke  , so I extended the nap by rocking her for another 25 mins)
5pm Bedtime (the shortest A time before bed we've had in days, and the latest bedtime)


I'm starting to think she could handle longer A time in the morning (there were a couple weeks back in October when she'd put her hand over her eye as a tired sign, and if I let her do that for another 10-15 mins, I'd get a nap of at least 70 mins).  That was probably an OT nap, so I'm not sure that will help. 

[lesorl]

OK, so I'm using this post as a diary right now.  But I have questions, so Katt and New mum I hope you're still checking this thread 

After 5pm bedtime, she woke at 3:33am crying.  Replaced paci and she went b2s, but woke about every 45 mins or so until up for the day at 6:35am.

So-

1) Did the 5pm bedtime (as opposed to 4:50pm) affect the night?  (Or will I never no the answer, as Momma Holmes suggests)

2) What time should her nap be today?  11:35am?  Or earlier, due to the broken night?

I really wish you girls lived next door