Extended Nursing Support Thread part 4

[ZacsMumme]

KM and Ali, I suspect Z will be the same, if anything he wants it more he is still pretty young really, but as you say KM the frustration is starting to get to me and him. Plus it's becoming a prop to easily at NW when he is sickle or cutting a tooth. Tis isn't a problem in itself, but afterwards it's a nightmare to get rid off now he is more knowing. I think after this trip away we are going to do a bit of a shake up. I do want to keep the BT BF but I may yet see if it would work for a few months doing 1 night BF 1 night bottle (DH could do) for a while so I get some nights off

[tigerlilly905]

I *plan* on having Ds1 self wean, but I really don't think that will happen anytime soon... especially since I"m tandem feeding and he sees the boob out all the time Honestly though, I'm fine with it. If the boys are happy, I'm happy. I can't deny the health benefits... and those continue on even past the first 2 years

[katyusha]

My DS started to feed only twice now. Is that normal? He has formula at lunch some days but not some otehr days. Just a week ago he was feeding non-stop though. Now only two feeds. Will my milk disappear? Am worried slightly.

[*Ali*]

That is fine Kate. Your supply will just balance out to those two feeds. We also moved to two feeds around 14mo. Is he having calcium in his food like dairy and leafy veg?

[katyusha]

Ali, thanks! No, he does not. However he has a big porridge every day with formula and I try and give him apricots, fish when i can, beans, lentils, broccoli, eggs, etc. He loves hoummus, so I figure it counts as it has both chicpeas and sesame seeds. he is dairy and soy allergic so I don't give him cheese but special Nutramigen formula. We are off to his asthma clinic tomorrow so they will check how he is doing for weight and allergies.

[ZacsMumme]

Hi ladies, we are down to 1 feed now at BT and have moved it before Z has his story. We are moving it to GeForce his bath/ teeth brushing soon but I'm not sure how to make the switch? He has always habit before bed and he loves this time with me (and the milk no doubt) how did you ladies move the feed forward...?

[Papaya]

 I guess I can join this thread now that F is just over one!

We dropped from four to three feeds a couple of weeks ago (on a don't offer, don't refuse basis) and were doing great for about ten days...but have had a hellish teething week this week so we're right back up there with at least four day feeds and 2-3 NFs. F has been running a fever so I kind of like to get the milk into her to bring that down, but I'm starting to find it pretty draining, tbh   

  She's sick and teething too at the minute and having NFs and I feel like I have a newborn again!  I guess with her I don't see an end in sight at all! 

This is exactly how I feel. I'd been looking forward to that bit more independence of only three feeds, and now it feels like she just wants to feed all day (and night) long  I know this week it's mostly teething and that'll pass, but I also know with the next teeth it'll be the same, and I guess I just don't know how to deal with her only wanting that particular form of comfort, which she probably will so long as I'm still feeding at all 

This is all sounding a bit negative....oops. It's been a tough week. Mostly I love love love feeding F and our special time together. Just wishing at the moment it were a little less frequent, yk? Another factor here is that I still haven't had AF since F was born, and now that I'd slowly like to be thinking about #2 that's starting to be an issue! I definitely don't want to wean F completely yet, I'd love to carry on BFing a couple of times a day for a while yet, for both the closeness and the health benefits...I guess I just wish she'd self-wean down to that! 

Sara, we recently shifted BT feed to before bath, and we just did it - it was fine. So it used to be bath, teeth, BF, prayers and story, bed; and now the BF comes first. For the first few days, I disappeared after the feed and DH took over BT routine entirely from then on (he would often do most of it anyway, and I just did the feed - so in that respect it wasn't a huge change). No complaints! This week I have fed just before bed a couple of time, but as soon as these jolly teeth are through we're planning to make feed before bath the norm again.

[ZacsMumme]

Thanks Nuala, getting Dhto take over is a good idea, this usually works for us with NW after we have illness and NF...

Re the NF ladies, we had x 2 around 13 mths with developmental/teething etc I felt I was never going to rid them, but once Z was well after a few nights of WI/WO (DH) he was fine. Itwas our last resort but he is so much older now that GW or just not feeding wasn't working

[*Ali*]

Nuala, I can definitely recommend weaning the NFs. We weaned our last nf at 12.5mo with pd and wo by dh and it took a week. Is she an independent sleeper otherwise? I bet AF would come back if you weaned the NFs. Going long periods without feeding is the main signal to your body for AF to return. Oh and welcome and well done on BFing so long.
We're still BFing at bt but I'm ready to be done tbh. Just weaned the morning BF this week and working on the bt one with a little help from the ladies over on the weaning thread.

[Papaya]

Oh, she doesn't usually feed during the night - just while she's teething, sick etc. We've just had a run of that recently and it feels like it's been forever, but really just a few weeks. She's coming right again now though, only 1 NW for the past two nights and back to three day feeds yesterday...so I'm starting to see the light again

[katyusha]

Guys, has anygone ever thought that by nursing it makes the child dependent? DH thinks that DS is so dependent on me because I am still nursing. I think it is just a phase.

[ZacsMumme]

I personally think if anything it would create more security in a child but that's just my opinion. Yes it creates a strong bond, but if your L is displaying SA type behavior from you, it is likely just that - SA

[tigerlilly905]

Personally, I believe security breads independence. So if your child feels secure, loved and has all of his/her needs met, they will blossom into the beautiful little person they are.  IMO, nursing (including extended nursing) actually breads independence because you are fulfilling a need that child has, thus they will feel more confident in knowing that their need is being met, kwim?  By extended nursing, I personally feel like I’m fulfilling an emotional need for Ds1 rather than merely a physical want.

Here's a great Mommy blog I follow with some interesting posts on extended nursing: http://www.mommypotamus.com/extended-breastfeeding-myth-1/   This is part one in a 4 part series... the additional links are at the bottom of the first article.

This is what I found particularily interesting on the global perspective of extended nursing: "What I can tell you is that the American tendency to wean early is the exception, not the rule. The worldwide average for weaning is 4 years and 2 months of age. If you think about how uncommon extended breastfeeding is in the U.S. and some other westernized nations, consider how old children must be breastfeeding in other parts of the world to drive the average up that high.
 
Still think mothers that practice extended breastfeeding are weirdos?
 •The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding well into and beyond the second year old life. This is a conservative organization which is saying two years is the minimum we should breastfeed for, NOT the maximum!
 •The American Academy of Family Physicians (yet another very conservative organization) states that weaning a child before two years of age leads to an increase in illness"

I'm so proud to be an extended/tandem nursing Mama, and I think you ladies should be too!!  Hold your head high and keep those boobies out! lol!

[Erin M]

Kate, our babies are just that, babies.  And babies are very dependent little creatures.  Any variation in that is, IMO more due to temperament than nursing.  I watched my niece and nephew, both 1.5 at Christmastime (born within a few days of each other).  Peter is super dependent, always wanting to be held and be right next to his mom.  Claire is an independent little thing, only rarely checks on for security.  I think it's just a natural variation.

Papaya, AF came back when dd1 was down to 2 feeds and I promptly got pg with dd2. 

[katyusha]

Thanks, ladies! I think a lot of it is for comfort, plus in all honesty his Nutramigen formula tastes yuck, so I would have preferred real milk too in his place. Feel a bit unsupported though, as DH thinks I should wean, and so does the health visitor. DS has a few allergies so I have been cutting foods from my plate, which is a bother. So no eggs, no dairy, no soy, no peanut butter... All the things I love to eat. I manage, however am getting my bloodcount tested for all the immunity markers, as I typically don't eat meat and with so many exclusions the diet is a bit limiited.