I am so desperate, can someone help me?

[RACHPEM]

We had a decent nap yesterday short A time before bed and still got NW's and woke at 4.50 again!!! I feel like we are just going round in circles, what else can i do?

[Vicku]

hugs babe! I can't think of any advice but to be consistent. consistent with how you deal with the wakings and consistent with her routine as much as you can. also, she's a bit older now... when my DD wakes too early or has NW we can usually tell her it's not time to get up yet and she'll know to try and sleep. have you tried that with M? sounds silly but it's really worked here lately. we had 3 NW's last night.
4:50 used to be 5:50 though (probably still is in her mind) so things might improve slowly again. let's hope so!

[NiknLily]

Rachel, Vicku is right, consistency, consistency, consistency.  Just stick with the 6/6.30pm bedtimes, preferably closer to 6pm at present and she will come through this again.  Its just sods law really.  She does take a long time to get back on track which is mainly why you had so many problems getting her routine sorted before your holiday, but since you have had a nasty cold, the clocks changing... so its no suprise its taking a while for her to get back on track.  Are you still staying in with her in am for ew's.  AP definitly has its +'s sometimes, that I know very well having done APOP loads of times, but at some point you will have to bite the bullet and return to wi/wo for ews otherwise she will continue to wake just to see you and have you there for last hour or so of night sleep.
I totally agree with vicku again about the fact that at this age you can start to just go and say to them 'its still night time, you need to go back to sleep' and they do understand.
Stick with it Rachel, she's acheived a good routine before several times before, albeit for only short spells, but we know it can be done.  You will get her back on track again.

[RACHPEM]

We went with a 6.15 bedtime last night and we had acouple of nw;s not for long though and then awake at 5.15 which is great she did 11 hrs but i cant see me ever getting past this ridiculous time! my only worry is now with the early time it is a long time again til her nap time which may result inOt again.  I also think htis cold is teething symptoms as it seems to be going on way to long for a cold and her cheeks were red raw yesterday plus she has been so horribly cranky and even more sensitve than ususal must be her 2nd molars which i hear are real fun! great lol!

[Vicku]

But remember that 5:15 used to be 6:15, so she is making progress slowly. 11 hrs is great too! If she starts to sleep til about that time in the morning consistently, you should be able to make things a bit later over time. 5:15 is only 45 mins off 6am. I know, we are also dealing with molars that are taking ages!

[NiknLily]

I know it doesn't feel like it will ever get later but it will get later, it getting better before, it just takes her a looonnnnggg! time to make changes to her routine.  A glimmer of hope, I know all LO's are different but Lilys 2yr molars were not as bad as canines, so fingers crossed she may do OK.

[Sarahboosmom]

Yep molars are awful!  My DD had teh worst time with all her teeth but the molars are not that bad for some reason BUT they TAKE SO LONG TO COME IN!  

DD has her bottom 2nd year molars in and they started in Feb of this year!  Now the top 2nd year molars are halfway through, and they seemed to stop for a while but now we're back on excessive drooling, red cheeks, low grade fevers, diaper rashes and constant crankiness. Oh did I mention OT Monster?  

Good luck hun, I know it can be hard, it sounds like you are sticking with it.  Consistency is key, you mention you are afraid of being stuck with 5:15 wake up.  Don't worry about it, right now you need to help her make up her sleep deficit, once the sleep is banked back up you can slowly begin moving the wake up times later but not until she's not OT anymore.

You made a casual comment about how waking up at 5:15 am will be a LONG time till nap and OT will set in, are you going by the clock, tired signs or rather Awake time lenght to ward off OT?  I definately don't want to go against anything all the wonderful ladies have already said (I definately didn't read the FULL 244 thread post  ) but when my DD is in OT mode and has an EW I give an earlier nap based on A time and tired signs, otherwise forget the nap she's too tired to take it.  Just a thought!

Good luck you can do it!

[RACHPEM]

Morning all! Well again we were up at 4.45 and no signs of going back to sleep, I know I keep moaning  but I have been so consistent FOREVER and things are no better really as I know we get the occasional 11 hr but we did before on occasion but still mostly 10-10.5 it always seems 1 step forward and 1 back . I think the key is def resetting her body clock but how am i ever going to move forward without her getting OT? Sorry to moan, I felt much more in control but o feel like it is building on top of me again, I feel so resentful towards Maya at times and i never wanted to feel like this about my dd.
Rachael x

[RACHPEM]

Hi everyone, I really need to have a rant! please tell me I am not in the wrong?  My mil had a christian meeting at her house this evening with some of hubbys family coming along, I told hubby i would not be staying but would let maya see everyone 1st before we left.  Everyone had arrived and settled in and said their hellos etc so I planned on leaving around 5.30 before it all got started, so we could get home and settled for mayas bedtime, i got a hard time from mil and hubby was in a foul mood with me he also said he was going to pick her up later and bring her back, why dont they want her to sleep? we then had words as he said his opinion counts for nothing so we left on a sour night.  I am so fed up, i try so hard not to mess up her routine but they dont seem to care. Was i in the wrong or did i do the right thing?
Fed up, Rachaelx

[*Vicki*]

Hey hun, sorry for not getting to this sooner   

I agree with you completely sweetie, YOU are the one who has to pick up the pieces if she becomes OT or indeed over stimlated so i think you should be respected for your descision! Hugs to you! 

With the OT hun, it is a case of just keeping to it as much as you can...unfortunately with LO's just when you think you ve got it sussed they do another turn about and have you confused about what to do again. Stick with it, it may take some weeks but it WILL work hun 

[RACHPEM]

Still up at 4.45 this morning and lots of nw's although she settled herself off pretty quickly.    SOrry to hear about Lois little accident Vicku, I hope she is ok and you got a decent nt in a bgb.
Rachael

[Vicku]

Hi Rachael,
not checked in for a while as been so busy with negotiations for our new (hopefully) house and of course also the BGB
Sorry to hear about the incident with MIL. I totally agree with vicki that you were in the right as you're the one who deals with Maya mainly and you know her best.
I hope you get some later wake ups soon. Stick wiht it for a week or two very consistently, and if that doesn't help maybe try making the day later gradually. But stick with this first to be totally sure it won't work before changing approach.
Loi is fine and asleep in her new bed for the second night.

[becky1969]

Girl, I'm so sorry you're still battling this.  As for DH and MIL, I think the problem is that many people don't understand that early to bed means later wakings.  Many people (including my own DH until I beat him with a rolling pin on the head) think that a later bedtime will lead to later wakings.  I have a feeling that they both think they are doing the right thing, trying to keep her up longer.  And, sometimes grandma's worry more about showing off a LO than they do about sticking to routines.  It's normal and natural, but not helpful to the mama!


I know for a fact that we got those EWs really licked once you stuck to the routine consistently.  I think you should make a commitment for the next week to have no outside activities at night, and preferably also at nap time.  Just 7 days.  After those 7 days, I think you'll see some improvement.  If so, it will be easier to commit for another week!  I know it's hard, but better now than when the holidays get underway!    It's hard for most families to keep to routines during the holidays, so let's get some good sleep in your little sweetheart now so that she can power thru those holidays without too much backlash.  7 days of early bedtimes (6/6:30) and I think you'll have a different girl.

Good luck!

[nike]

Hi Rachael.  Apologies also for being MIA.  I finally got a new PC, have all our sickness probs sorted and everything is looking back on track.

Sorry to hear you've been getting some grief re. Maya's routine.  I am a real stickler for routine and we generally always work around DS2's nap and sleep times.  BUT I am known to be flexible on the odd occasion, like holidays and special occasions - but only when the boys are otherwise well.  Life would be so much easier if I only had DS1, who is now 3.5 and not napping during the day.  He does have quiet time at home but would easily last the distance if we were to go out and also stay out late at night.  He's also reached that miracle point of actually sleeping in if he's had a late night, with no NW's to have to contend with.  But for the moment, we're plodding along around DS2's routine, knowing there is light at the tunnel and in a year or so we will have some semblance of a "normal" life back....LOL   I'm not prepared to d!ck around with no naps and late nights bc I am the one who has to deal with the repercussions!  And that's my stock-standard answer for anyone who questions it. 

There may be some issues still floating around post holiday, like Maya having got used to you sleeping in with her in the same room and her routine being out of whack in general.  It doesn't take them very long to manipulate a situation to suit themselves, does it?!  I believe you have the NW's under control now, so it's just the EW.  I have no experience, sorry, with daylight savings.  No doubt you'll just crack a good routine and you'll have the time change again....aaarghh! 

No useful advice other than to keep on top of the OT by earlyish nap and early bedtime.  If she's still settling well at 6.30 then she's obviously tired then.  You could try pushing the daytime nap closer to 12 and hope for a longer nap and that hopefully will help with the EW the next morning.  Whatever you try, be consistent for at least 5 days, maybe even closer to a week.

GL

[RACHPEM]

Hi girls, nice to have you back again Nike.  I have been sticking to my guns ,and even bought nap time earlier to about 10.50-11 and we have had longer naps, bedtime is still averaging around 6.15 but the last 2 days i have pushed it to 6,30 as we have been getting good nights of 11hrs .  She allso is still not 100% cold/teething . We have still had nw's and ew but she is settling better and quicker i think as she is not OT so i am ok with this for now as i can handle 5.45-6am starts, and hopefully we can push out a little step at a time having said that we are going away for christmas so no doubt everything will be all over the place again plus we have a big time diff to contend with however it never seems so bad when your away as you have your hubbys support just chaos when you get home!
Thanks for checking in.
Rachaelx