18mo taking 45mins-1hr to settle at BT-please help

[*foxy*]

Unfortunately she only napped for 45 mins at the childminders, she woke up very upset so we think she's teething as she did the same last night. Plus she's chewing on everything and clingy etc.

We went backwards with GW too which is disappointing but I'm hoping its just because of teething. I tried again to have no contact and stay as far as I could from her cot. I ignored her as usual which tonight she hated and she stood up and head butted the cot side which I couldnt ignore as she was in pain. So I stroked her leg until she calmed down. Once I'd broken contact she got all upset, stood up and head butted the cot side again. Then she got very upset so I stroked her back and she fell asleep. What do I do if she seems to be head butting the cot side as she knows it will get my attention?

[Bex09]

Hi hun and hugs. But don't worry about going back a step, with GW it is quite normal. I am sure once the teething passes you will get back on track. We still need to help DD resettle with NW when teething so don't worry about it. Just keep trying to push on with it and if DD is upset then go back a step, just as you did.

As for the head banging hopefully again once the teething passes she won't need you so much so won't do it to get your attention. I think you did the right thing, you have to check she isn't hurt. Just maybe try to do that without being too interesting or make a fuss yk? Comfort her in the cot but still be boring!! Have you tried pain meds before BT for the teething?

[*foxy*]

Hi Bex

Thanks. Yes, I know what you mean. If it happens again tomorrow night I'll try to be very boring and not make too much of a fuss. She just got so upset tonight that I knew I'd have to help a bit. I hope the head banging stops, she's done it before and has done it during the day, I'm not sure why, we're trying to discourage it.

Yes, she's had pain meds before bed tonight, hopefully that will help.

[clairebear79]

I hope the head banging stops, she's done it before and has done it during the day, I'm not sure why, we're trying to discourage it.

My DS is doing this too.  I've noticed he does it more when he's tired.  If I catch him when he's about to do it I will try & stop him by distracting him with something else & I tell him not to do it because it hurts.  And if he does it & hurts himself I will comfort him but try not to make too much of a big deal of it so as to not encourage a repeat in order to get my attention.  HTH.x

[*foxy*]

Thanks Claire, thats good to know that its not just our DD who's doing the head banging thing, I was just worried that I needed to do something about it. Ill keep discouraging it but not making a big deal out of it.

[clairebear79]

How are her nights atm? 

Ours have gone a bit awry since he got ill last week.  We've been doing 1.5hr nap with 5hrs A to BT & the first 2 nights he slept a perfect 11.5hrs, then 11, then 10.5hrs.  Last night was 11 again.  Not bad, but not enough to keep his day from being too long.  I think it needs to be 12.5hrs max for him to cope ok on the shorter nap but I'm not quite sure how to get us there!  He quite simply doesn't seem tired at bedtime anymore so DH thinks we need to do a later bedtime (so 5.5hrs A instead of 5).  I'm just having an almightly guilt trip about capping his nap.  None of the other mums at my playgroup do this & their LO's are all sleeping well (2hr naps +11.5-12hr nights).  DS is happy, but has very tired looking eyes so I can't help but think we're getting his routine wrong somewhere or maybe we shouldn't be capping at all but just accepting he isn't a big night sleeper. 

[*foxy*]

Hi

She's going through some teething at the moment so the nights have been variable. Last night she was asleep by 7.30pm but needed some help from me to settle (thats when she was doing the head butting) she woke around 11.30 very upset so I got her into bed with me as she just wouldnt settle in her cot. She woke around 6.30am but stayed in bed until the sun came up on the gro clock at 6.50am. She still takes about 30 mins to go to sleep at BT.

I just dont think our DD has ever really needed a lot of sleep, we've had problems since she's arrived! She seems fine on 11 hours at night with a 1.5 hour nap, shes wakes on her own after an hour and a half now (12.30-2). No matter what we do she always seems to end up with a 13 hour day. I have friends who's DS's at the same age as my DD generally have 1hr 20min naps and sleep really well at night. My neice doesnt even have day time routine (they gave up when she was about 14mo as she just wouldnt stick to a routine) she's now 23mo and sleeps really well too.

For us 11 hours is good, 11.5 is very good and 12 is unheard of unless she's very ill, I cant remember the last time she slept for 12 hours at night.

Could you try a later BT if he's not tired at his usual BT and then try going back to a 1hr 3/4 nap? Why are you having a guilt trip about capping his nap? You just need to try a few things and see what works, dont feel guilty, your only trying to do whats best for him.

[clairebear79]

I just dont think our DD has ever really needed a lot of sleep, we've had problems since she's arrived!

LOL I think my LO is the same!  I have friends who's LO's take a 2hr nap and sleep 12hrs at night & its sickening!  And they look well rested whereas DS has bags under his eyes.  Then I wonder if he really is low sleep needs.

I'm only feeling guilty b/c I feel mean when I wake him & he cries b/c he's still tired.  He never wakes on his own so I have to do this every day & its horrible.  We decided to try the later bedtime first, so we're doing the same thing as you i.e. 12.30-2 nap (I pulled it earlier as he was struggling to make it) & then we're keeping our 7.30pm BT.  I'm soooo hoping for a longer night!

Hope the teeth cut soon & that you have a better night.xx

[*foxy*]

Yep, I secretly hate my friends who have LO's who sleep really really well!!

I know, I hate waking my DD too, I feel so mean! But like you say, surely capping the nap and (hopefully!) getting a longer night is better for everyone?

Good luck tonight, I hope you get a longer night.

[*foxy*]

So last night she slept from 7.50pm to 6am with no NW. I was hoping that she's sleeper long that but nevermind.

Today she had a nap 12-1.30 (woke on her own)
BT 7.30pm but this was the most peaceful easy and quickest she had ever settled! It was 20 mins and asleep! I did nothing at all to help her and there was no head banging and very little frustration. Normally she's squirming all over the place and kicking the cot sides, there was none of that tonight.

Surely she's not happy on a 13.5 hr day?! She baffles me

[Bex09]

That is great, sounds like your LO is really getting the hang of the GW and it is taking less and less time. Are you at the door yet?

[*foxy*]

No, not yet, last night wasn't so good, it took a good 45 mins for her to settle. I'm going to try standing by the door tomorrow night. She's very unpredictable so we'll see how she is

[Bex09]

Good luck with it, just focus on how far you have come already.

[*foxy*]

The last 2 nights have been awful   We're back to EW's, NW's, and BT battles. Now we've got 1 hour naps. I just want to cry

[Bex09]

Oh hugs hun. So what changed if anything? Were there different A times or a change in routine?