18mo taking 45mins-1hr to settle at BT-please help

[*foxy*]

Hi

She's quite clingy and keeps snuggling into me this afternoon. And she looks tired. She notoriously doesn't go to sleep before 7.30pm but we'll give it a go! 

[Kay Dee]

Good luck with it!

[*foxy*]

Thanks. We managed 7.10pm. So not terrible but not as early as I wanted.

[clairebear79]

Good luck for tonight hun.  My DS went to sleep at 7.15 (we were aiming for 7pm) so I'm hoping & praying we'll get around a 6-6.30am WU.  And he'll be a bit more rested for me to push his nap back to 12.30 & then I think I will be capping at 1.5hrs too.

[*foxy*]

Good luck for tonight! Let me know how the nap capping goes! We'll be trying the same thing.

[Bex09]

Sounds like you are doing really well hun. How is the GW going now?

[*foxy*]

5.30 WU again will this ever end!

Gw is going ok thanks Bex, to be honest I just wanted her asleep last night so I didn't progress things. We're still doing well though

[Bex09]

Great that things are going so well on the GW front. That is the good thing about it, that you can go at your own pace and still make progress. Still here to hold your hand if you need it?

Sorry about your early wakings. Must be so hard on you.

[*foxy*]

Thanks Bex, she's doing really well, I think we're definitely making progress.

Ok, so help me work this one out.

Yesterday went like this:

Wake up 5.30
Nap 12.30-2.30 (at the childminders) went to sleep like a dream apparently
BT 7.30 (struggled to settle but seemed tired, I ended up letting her cry, I stayed with her obviously, spoke to her quietly and put my hand on her leg. It seems like the less I help the quicker she goes to sleep so will continue with that!)

NW's 9.30 (got very very upset and wouldnt let my dp help), 9.40 (again very upset so I got into bed with her, waited until she fell asleep and then popped her back in her cot), 1.15 (self settled), 3.30 (self settled)
Wake up 6.10!!!!!!

What's going on and what do I do today

[Kay Dee]

Hi, that's tough going I do think the issue here is the nap is too long, causing long days and short nights which are making her OT. I think the 2hr nap she had is just too much for her. She struggled to settle at bedtime because she'd had a long nap, despite being tired from being up from 5.30am.

Personally, I think your best option is to cap the nap at 1.5hrs and have her in bed much earlier. So her day is 13hrs max.

What do you think?

x

[clairebear79]

Hiya hun

I have to say I think I agree with Kay Dee.  Its exactly the same with my DS - we've also started to cap his nap at 1.5hrs b/c he simply isn't tired at BT anymore after a 2hr nap.  And a later BT just seems to make him OT b/c his day gets too long. 

[*foxy*]

Hi

Yesterday she had a 1.5 hour nap but we had an awful night and she was up at 5am!

She was at her grandparents today so I'm not sure what her nap has been like yet.

When you say an early BT, do you mean if she's been up at say 5am today, BT is at 6pm at the latest so bring her nap forward too? I thought I was sticking to a nap at 12.30 and making sure she had a 5 hour A time to bed so that she wasn't UT? Sorry, I'm getting confused.

[Kay Dee]

Hiya, sorry you had another bad night Hopefully things will improve soon. Will she last from a 5am WU to 12.30 nap That's a very long A time...

I think ideally her day would look like:

WU ?
Nap 12.30-2pm
Bed 7pm.

But if she's up at 6 or earlier you'd probably need to pull it all in a bit.

That said, if you do think she'd be able for a set nap at 12.30 and 7pm bed regardless of WU time then that is an option BUT if she doesn't start tacking on pretty quickly you run the risk of her getting OT. I guess it depends on how good she is at handling OT whether you want to just push through. There is a lot to be said for setting her bodyclock to set times but she'd have some very long A times to deal with

How did she nap today in the end?

x

[*foxy*]

I certainly agree with Becky that long day often leads to short night b/c the long day causes OT, however I would still be wary of pulling the nap earlier on a consistent basis as earlier nap & earlier bedtime will still leave you stuck with the earlier wakeup.  Yes  she may be more rested to handle pushing the day out at a later stage, but then you have to do this same process all over again.  So I would say stay with it.  I think the other thing to consider too, is that its ok shortening the day, but if the reason she is taking a long time to settle at BT is because she is UT, then this problem won't resolve itself by bringing everything earlier b/c she will still be UT at BT, IYSWIM?

I think I've got confused as I thought I was sticking with a 12.30 nap time to make sure she wasnt UT. Today she had 11.45-1.45 at her grandparents

[Kay Dee]

Yes, ideally 12.30 but if she's awake super early then it's okay to pull it back to 12 or 12.15pm.

What bedtime will you do tonight? I think 6pm will be too early after a 2hr nap, so I'd probably go for 7pm today. I really do think you'll have to start capping that nap if you want to get her days shorter and nights longer...