18mo taking 45mins-1hr to settle at BT-please help

[*foxy*]

I do try to make sure she's settled before moving away, I put her in her cot and she generally complains but I keep contact until she's calm. As soon as I break contact the kicking etc starts. Even when I stay with my hand on her back it takes ages for her to go to sleep, there's just none of the frustration and crying. I just don't know why it takes 45mins for her to go to sleep, every night!

[Bex09]

Hi there, still following along. Sorry to hear the GW isn't going so well. You said she goes down well for naps, is that with a hand on her or not? Is she easier to settle for naps than BT? If so then I agree with Kay Dee that it is to do with your routine and not the actual GW process. So once you get the nap and A time balance right then things should get easier.

As for going back to a hand on your DD's back from the start that is your call hun. The joys of GW are that you can go back a step or two and then build up to it again. If nap time sleep is fine though I doubt that your DD is having negative associations. More likely she is UT or OT so is either angry that you are putting her to bed or so tired she needs your help to switch off.

[*foxy*]

Hi Bex

She's a million times better for naps than BT. She just has her milk and is pretty much asleep by the time I put her in her cot. She used to not need my hand on her back but we've gone backwards a bit there too. I know I can tackle GW at BT much more easily at nap time than BT. At nap time the whole process from going into her room to her being asleep takes 15 minutes! BT takes about 1.5 hours!

Tonight she was asleep by 7.30pm and I decided to go back to having my hand on her back or letting her cuddle my hand. She still took 35 mins to go to sleep though but it was much much more peaceful than if I'd not kept contact with her. I hope we can sort out her routine soon!

[Bex09]

Yeah it definitely sounds like a routine issue is causing those BT issues hun, especially as she goes down so easy for her naps. If she is UT or OT she will likely need your help to fall asleep, so as I said before that is why BT is so rough on you both.

OK, so what is your EASY at the minute, still the same? With the shorter nap do you do an earlier BT or stick to the usual A time? I have found with my DD that when she naps for under 2 hrs, she prefers a 4.5 hr A time to BT. Yet she can handle 6 hrs or more no problem in the morning.

Does she have any specific traits that suggest she is OT or UT? For eg my DD gets really giggly and hyper when she is OT. Maybe if you can pinpoint that then it would give you some clues. So how does she bahave before her nap? As she is obviously tired then to fall asleep so easily.

[*foxy*]

We had a 6.30am wake up!! It's our ideal time! One brief NW but that was it! BT still not great but WU yay!

KayDee did we say go for a one hour nap today if she had a later WU? Yesterday she had a 1.5 hour nap 12-1.30. I was thinking 12.30-1.30 today? Or do you think a little later?

Bex before her nap she doesn't seem tired until we go into her room. She sucks her thumb whilst I put her sleeping bag on. But other times she could be madly running around on the bed in her room and still go down without a problem. Thinking about it, when the clocks changed she was slightly UT at nap time and took 20 mins to go to sleep but that was pretty peaceful and she hardly needed any help. I don't know! I guess that would suggest that she's OT at BT? And therefore needs help settling? Maybe that means her nap today should be more like 1-2pm?

[Bex09]

What a great night. So what time was WU and BT yesterday? Just wondering if you try to repeat the same A times for am and pm if that would work. Was your night longer than usual last night though? If so DD may need a slightly shorter nap today like Kay Dee said. Maybe 1 hr 15 or so.

[*foxy*]

WU yesterday was 5.30am nap was 12-1.30 BT was 7.30pm. I think the last A time was too long though. She had a 10 hour night the night before. Last night was 11 hours so I think we said try a nap for an hour today? 1-2 might work?

[Kay Dee]

Hope I'm not too late. Great night! 1-2pm nap sounds ideal. Fingers crossed for another good one x

[Bex09]

Probably too late too but yes that sounds good. Just bear in mind that your DD may need a shorter A time to BT if her nap is only 1 hr. how did your day go?

[Kay Dee]

How did it go??

[*foxy*]

Hi

Sorry for late reply, we've been away for the night. Its been going ok. She stayed at her grandparents yesterday and we were there last night. It's a shame because she didn't really sleep at all yesterday, her granny tried but M just didnt want to, she had some quiet time for about an hour. BT was fine actually, she didnt get too worked up and fell asleep without my hand on her back, as usual it took a long time for her to go to sleep but she was probably OT. she fell asleep at 7.35pm. The night was pretty unsettled and she ended up in bed next to me. WU was 6.30am again which was good. She seems tired now though so I was maybe going to let her have a slightly longer nap, only 1 hour 15. But should I do 12.45-2 or 1-2.15?

[Bex09]

If you can push it without her getting too grumpy and OT I would go for the later nap and then shorter A time to bed. DD seems to prefer that doesn't she?

[*foxy*]

I think a shorter A time to bed is better but I havent worked out the length of time that works best yet.

She had a nap 12.45-2 in the end, woke up herself. Tonight the A time to bed will probably end up being 5.5 hours so will see how she does with that. Should I do the nap at 1-2 tomorrow? (In the hope that she'll wake at 6.30 again tomorrow) Or later if she takes ages tonight? Early BT's just dont seem to happen. We were supposed try that time and length of nap yesterday but it didn't happen at her grandparents

[Bex09]

It really depends on what A time to BT you end up with tonight and also how well your DD goes down. Then see what wu time you get tomorrow really I guess. That shorter nap seems to suit her though so I would stick with that if it is working.

[*foxy*]

She went down well tonight, my dp put her down. He fell asleep whilst waiting for her to go to sleep so I'm not sure what time BT was!      I think it was 7.30/7.45pm.

If she has a good night and wakes at 6.30am again then I might try a 1-2pm nap time and see how she does.