Predictable Unpredictability - Please help us!

[becj86]

S: 10.05; 10.11-11.30 but woke crying... (is that an OT or UT nap or ok?)

Ok, so, since we know she was doing 1.5-2hr off 3hr A time, this is what I call a 'shrinking' nap - not bad, not REALLY UT but just a touch and its a hint to increase A, so I think rather than aiming for her to be asleep by 3hr, you aim for in cot at 3hr and that extra few minutes she spends going to sleep will get you the A increase and hopefully the extra sleep This is the sign that if you look for it, you can increase A time by 5-10min every couple of weeks and not have to deal with big jumps. It tweaking rather than the complete overhaul.

Milk after solids doesn't seem to be reducing her milk intake though (why its not recommended), if anything, she's drinking more, right? Does this line her solids eating up better with when the family is eating? Just wondering if she's wanting to get involved with you/big brother eating rather than drinking, yk?

[labrodyk]

Thanks for replying Bec! You could be right with the A time increase - did you see my updated comment about our night and morning? A very short nap but I tried to follow her and the clock and it backfired!!

Yes, she's drinking heaps more after solids which I know is not recommended which is why I'm hesitant to do it. I'm not pumping her with purees, just finger foods but the bigger gap I think between feeds is what gets her to drink more! I think sitting up with us as a family is also what she enjoys.

[becj86]

WRT food, I'd keep doing what's working. If she's taking more milk and is happier then its totally fine.

Just had a look at the update - I think that's still making sense with what I wrote.

[labrodyk]

We're just playing milk and food by ear based on her cues. I'd hoped things would even out as time
goes on but her milk intake has improved and she's enjoying food and aiming weight well so iNll just keep winging it.

Unfortunately this is how the rest of the day went;
Out of bed at 11.20.
E: 11.30. 200ml bottle
A:
E: 1.00. Solids.
A:
S: 2.10-2.40 (pram, had to APOP by patting her bottom)
E: 4.20. 190ml bottle.
S: 5.05; 5.13 still asleep at 6.00pm but I woke her...
^^ very tired OT protesting.

what time would you do BT?!

[becj86]

Sorry, probably too late now. Around 8, I'd reckon :-/ Its hard when you get too short a nap and either have to do EBT or another nap.

[labrodyk]

that's ok, thanks Bec! We did 8.15, and she was asleep by 8.20

WU: 6.40
E: 7.20 (180ml)
A:
E: 8.30. solids.
A:
E: 9.30 (60ml)
S: 9.45-11.47
She's so super tired this morning, she was acting really hungry so I offered her a milk top up of 60ml of which she guzzled and then collapsed asleep in my arms!! I gently roused her and took her to her room to quickly change nappy and put in sleeping bag and she didn't cry at all and went straight to sleep and is still asleep at 11.25. Likely from the short night but i don't know whether she's also on the hungry side when she goes down for a nap but should I be offering additional feeds and so close to a nap?

[becj86]

I'd consider it a topup given the size of the feeds and fine so long as she's not falling asleep on it - have you tried feeding at the 2hr mark when she is typically getting cranky? I wonder if that's why the other day went better feed-wise? I'd be inclined to keep the solids before milk with her - its not stopping her taking the milk, she's taking more, yk.

[labrodyk]

Well usually she takes more, today she's wanted nothing of anything - food or milk. She would have drunk more of that top up but it was all I had remaining from a bottle in the fridge. I offered her solids after the good long nap and she wasn't too bad. Offered milk ages later and she only drank 100ml. What confuses me is that when I offer that bottle she closes her eyes and rubs them like she's exhausted and wants to go to bed, almost falling asleep. She's teething today but she's tired, I thought she'd have some good sleep but things are just as messy as always

E: 12.00 solids.
A:
E: 2.00. 120ml
A:
S: 2.45; 2.55-3.25. Then 3.30-3.38. Crying and can't settle.

I suppose I just aim for BT at 6?

ETA.
E: 5.40. Only drank 100ml before falling asleep on me when I burped her!
S: 6.00; fussed and cried for a while trying to settle. I think she was asleep by 6.30 but the poor little possum was very tired.

I've been medicating for teeth because her bottom gums are quite swollen and she's drooling and Extra cranky.

I thought the feeding situ was getting better but perhaps not...I have NO idea what I'm doing. Lol.

[becj86]

Wanting nothing of anything is a nice phrase - also pretty normal when teething.

I wonder if you need an adjustment of thinking re: second child - you know how the majority of people say the 2nd is easier because you kno wwhat you're doing? Its the same, you're still meeting a new person and getting to know how they tick. Its easier in the sense of knowing how to change a nappy and how to make a bottle but doing that with a different baby is a different experience. Its ok to "not know what you're doing".

Now you've said that re: DD falling asleep on the bottle, I'd be pretty careful about feeding close to naps - sounds like she's ready for that to be a prop!

[labrodyk]

Wanting nothing of anything - Excuse my terrible grammar!! Haha.

Thank you for your kind words I just feel with Audrey that no matter what I do, it doesn't work. My first was absolutely nuts, cried constantly but by doing the same A for a few days he adjusted and slept decent chunks consistently each day until the next A increase. With Audrey it just seems such a mess and each day is like a lucky dip where I dread putting her down for a nap and bedtime.

Last night she had a long unhappy night waking at 2am - at first it was just super loud mantra crying then I tried to shush pat and she was quiet whilst I did that. BUT, once I left the room she screamed blue murder - at which point my husband fed her. Could the fact that she usually falls asleep on any night feed be that it's a prop? You're right about the day time bottles, I've gone back to feed on wake at least 4hrs between feed with solids an hour later.

NW: 2.00-3.30
NF: 3.30
S: 3.43; 3.45-7.20

WU: 7.20
E: 7.45
E: 8.35. Solids
A: went out.
S: 10.26; 10.30ish-11.09; resettled at 11.30 or so - 12.06
E: 12.30
E: 2.15. Solids
A:
S: 3.15; 3.22-3.52.
I tried to resettle her for over 20 minutes but she wouldn't settle, crying continuously.
E: 4.30. Solids
A:
E: 6.20. 200ml bottle
S: 6.38; 7.00. Fussed and cried.
NW: 11.45-12.15
NF: 12.15 (150ml)
S: 12.28;  12.30
NW: 5.50-6.30 calling out intermittently then crying
NF: 6.30. Only drank 100ml; that's it.
S: 6.48 back to bed but not sleeping

Her milk intake today was minimal apart from the night bottle. She's ridiculously tired and upset - should I just give up? We've tried everything but nothing is working...
DS wakes at 5/5.30 every. Single. Day. At least his sleep was crap in the day but he slept through from 12 weeks so we both got some rest. Audrey can't do either! I'm SO sleep deprived.

[becj86]

Her night length seems to affect her response to that first A time. How was she when you were out? Still upset through that last hour of A time?

She's really touchy! I can see why you're frustrated, I'm sure I would be too.

What does giving up look like?

[labrodyk]

Sigh, thanks so much Bec! I know I sound like a right lunatic but it's just so upsetting discouraging and frustrating.

Yea, she wanted to be held and was doing her sleepy sound moaning the drive home in the car.

I went to the MCHN today and she told me to do solids before milk definitely if she's eating and drinking a little more milk. As for the sleep I'm just going to have to go with whatever she throws at me. It's not ideal to say the least but things are just so messy and I'm going crazy trying to fix something and she's not responding. Today was just as random - absolutely no rhyme or reason but I let her sleep as long as she wanted because I felt she needed the catch up. I'm sure it will bite me back but she was so happy when she woke!

I've also spent the whole afternoon and evening moving the entire house around to give both kids a bedroom. Hubby and I have taken our bed to the dining room until we can find a new house to live.

NW: 11.45-12.15
NF: 12.15 (150ml)
S: 12.28;  12.30
NW: 5.50-6.30 calling out intermittently then crying
NF: 6.30. Only drank 100ml; that's it.
S: 6.48 back to bed but not sleeping

OOB: 7.10
S: 9.50-10.10 (pram, unfortunately was woken up by loud noises)
E: 11.30. Solids
E: 12.20. 150ml
Nap 2: 12.58; 1.00- 3.53
E: 5.00. Solids
A:
E: 6.40. 220ml bottle.
S: 7.04; 7.28 asleep by.
NF: NF: 4.47
S: 4.59; 5.00

WU: 7.00
E: 7.30 solids.
E: 8.40. 150ml bottle
A:
S: 9.40; 9.45/50-10.55

[becj86]

OH my goodness! You don't sound crazy, you sound like a mum who's not sugar-coating it It doesn't look like a great day on paper but if you had a more relaxed day and she got enough sleep, that's a good day in my book. FWIW, after that short nap in the AM, I'd have let her sleep as long as she wanted for that PM nap too. How was she through that A time before that long nap?

That's a lot of furniture moving! FX she is happy with her new room

[labrodyk]

Thanks Bec really appreciate it.  That second A yesterday wasn't too bad but I was frantically setting up her cot again in her new room so my 3yo fed her her bottle because she was crying considerably and was very irritable and most definitely exhausted.

I updated my post with our night and morning - not sure on your thoughts?! Her poor bottom 4 teeth are swollen and red so teething is upsetting her too...

I'm just going to go by her tired cues today regardless of nap lengths. I know I'll  get some wrong but just trying to be kind on my self today (ds and I sick AGAIN - gosh I hate preschool). Lol

[becj86]

Looks like a good night (I know you'd prefer no NFs). Totally worth being kind to yourself while you're ill (and ALWAYS)! Is preschool DS' first exposure to that amount of germs? Its a rotten first year, really, then its not so bad. I was lucky to BF DS through his first 1.5 years or so of daycare so we escaped relatively unscathed.

Here's hoping those teeth cut quickly and you get a break before the next ones xx