OK, first of all can I just say that every time I read a post and I am not having that particular problem/situation and I think to myself, "phew, I am so glad I am not having to deal with THAT" (of course all the while sending hugs and good vibes to those of you who do) Then all of a sudden that problem/situation magically shows up at my house within days!!
Like the zits...it's like the mere mention of them brought on a major attack. I'm 32! Enough already!
And the weight. I was doing so well, running, loosing etc, etc, and although I don't weigh myself, I defnately noticed the jeans were a LITTLE tight this morning. And no I didn't dry them too long...it is more likely a result of the fact that about all I have been eating in the last few weeks is crackers with Sophie's left over mashed avocado on them. Hmmm. Sometimes I wonder HOW I am going to be a good role modle for this girl and eating!
So now I am bracing myself for a night like Ankie's to show up at my door...BTW Sophie and I have spent MANY days in our PJ's...Hope things are better tonight.
OK, so a little more ranting from me.
It's about my IL's. After Sophie was born SIL and MIL were incredibly gimmie gimmie. MIL was offering to take her for the night before she was even three months old! I swear I had to beat them off with a stick at all family gatherings...and we tend to ahve a lot of them so things were getting really stressful for me. Anyhow, I finally asked dh to talk to them, explain that I am a private person, and I need a little space. I asked him to explain to them, in a nice way, that if they would just back off a little, they would see that I would offer Sophie up more..for cuddles and babysitting etc. But with all the hovering, all I wanted to do was hold her closer.
Never thought I would be so possessive, but hey, I guess I am. OK, so a little more background. I love my IL's. They are the most generous, most jkind do anything in the world for you kind of people. BUT they are different from my family. They are from a small town, we are from a big city. They are very close as a family, we are not. They have fostered some amount of dependence in their family (some helathy some not) wereas my family was all about being independent..too much so at times.
OK, so, recently, I asked my friend to take SOphie when I go back to work. She has a 3 year old and is lookign to make a little extra money without having to go back to teaching. She was happy to take her. I was incredibly relieved, she is like my family. She will be loving etc.
Anyhew...come to find out that SIL (40 years old, no job, was a sahm, now kids are grown) was offended that I didn't ask her...since she has the time.
MIL told her it's because she's a smoker. Which is, actually high up there on my reasons why. And there are lots of others too. Mainly, she has made no effort to have a realtionship with me. She never even asked me what we were planning on doing with SOphie when I go back to work, and she thinks I am just going to ask her?? In my mind it would be like asking a stranger, except that I DO know that she would be loving etc....
SO, sorry this is so long. I emailed MIL and told her I had heard that SIL was miffed and asked if she had any suggestions for what I should do. Mind you hat MIL wasn't exaclty thrilled with the way I was with SOphie either but after dh talked to her she was very understanding and overall respectful of my wishes, which of course has brought us much closer!! Anyhow, she wrote back and said that SIL had hurt feelings from after Sophie was first born about the way I was with her...I can remeber one time when S was crying at a family function and I wanted her back so that I could comfort her. SIL swoops in and says "Oh she just needs her aunty" and I was like "no she just needs her mommy, or her mommy needs her..." Whatever, just let me have my baby!
Do I sound totally crazy?
So, now I know that SIL is wanting to take Sophie on some of the days when she won't go to my friends (she'll go there alternating 4 then 3 days a week, at MIL's the other day). I need to develop a relationship with her so that I feel comfortable letting her do this.
I think I am going to just call her up and invite her over for lunch...not say anything about the hurt feelings etc, but just make the first move to get a realtionship going.
Any other ideas? Anyone deal with similar issues?
Again, sorry for the loooooong rant, but really needed to get it out. I've talked to a few friends here, but none really seem to understand...
Thanks for listening.
hannah
